to think I will never work again

[LEMmingaround]

Unless you lot give me a kick up the arse and help me find a grip.

Im 43 sahm but my dd is 9 and it is yet another summer holiday. I love being at home with her but I need to get a job.

Is it soooo unreasonable to want that job to be stimulating and challenging but without stress? ( I have anxiety).

I guess with such a break I need to discount my qualifications and my confidence is rock bottom.

When I was looking before I signed up for email alerts but I was just receiving the same emails all the time. Clearly agencies.

I have skills but don't know how to demonstrate it and I don't know what I want to do.

Please mnet you have to help me......

Your qualifications are all you have apart from previous experience so you CAN'T discount them! They're it! What are your qualifications?

Can you sign up for some nightschool courses (I think they are cheaper if you are not working )
Worth a look ?

are you on benefits or do you have a dp that works? if you have a dp that works you could take agency work to ease yourself back into the job market?

on benefits you could try voluntary work build up your confidence a bit im in a similar position looking to return to work when my youngest turns three im terrified due to family circumstances ive not worked outside the home for 14 years

every job has stress - only you can decide the acceptable level for you. I used to love working on tills in my saturday job. But because I was considered 'responsible', they took me off and put me on cash counting duties. Stuck inside a room with no windows and no customers - that was way more stressful than busy customers.

'Challenging' means you have a task to complete and you may not complete it within either your or your employer's guidelines. But it's that motivation that helps us perform better

What do you like doing? What gives you pleasure? Cleaning? dog-walking? typing?

What did you do pre kids?

I'd say go on a course at your local college in September. Even it's learning a foreign language from scratch or brushing up on a subject you enjoyed at school. And that hopefully will boost your confidence and get you thinking about what you want to do. You don't say what qualifications or work experience you already have. I agree every job has stress even low paid ones.

I had a ten year gap from work after having my DC and I was terrified of returning to the workforce. For me I found the best way forward was to do some voluntary work (I did mine in a school). I also did a couple of courses at college. It helped me to gain a bit of confidence again and I was there when a part time position arose at the school and I have been working there for ten years now.
Take small steps and remember, you WILL get there. Good luck.

I have a phd in biochemistry but no real experience in the field and few if any jobs.

I used to be a vet nurse (unqualified) and receptionist. I enjoyed thus and thrived on the pressure. But have since had a breakdown. I taught at fe college but buckled under the pressure. (Dp says it wasn't my fault as they piledon too much responsibility with too little support) but that and the teaching threads on here have put me off teaching. Also its a bit late for me now.

I value my family time but am not averse to putting the hours in reasonably after work.

My dp is self employed so money is erratic. I di his admin and deal with planning and building control. And the bastard tax return. I also help him on jobs. Mostly labouring and decorating. Im not very artistic.

I have good negotiation skills but I don't again really have positive proof of this.

I just honestly don't know where to start.

How do you find a decent agency and then sign up? I quite like the idea of temping to find out what I might like.

I also cant drive which is a massive issue. Don't tell me to learn. We cant afford a second car and dp needs ours gor work. Also too anxious.

I am secretary of school pfa and do Alot of volunteering at the school. School trips etc. (Feels like I bloody live there) but not sure can use this for work experience.

I think my problem is that my skills are disparate and difficult to define and the phd is a hinderance not a help as folk don't tske me seriously applying for non science jobs.

Killed my own thread :(

DS is starting school in September and my plan is to do lots of voluntary work in areas that I find interesting and let absolutely everyone I meet know that I'm looking for a job and to let me know if they hear about anything suitable.

Why not leave off the phd (for now, if you think it puts some people off), do some temping admin type roles and just find your feet for a bit? Sounds to me as if you are already doing this so it shouldn't be a stretch.

I think you sound like you have lot of skills, but not enough self confidence. I could 'spin' the job you do for your husband into a very capable office manager/pa/finance admin. I also bet you could carry if off, but you have to believe.

As for positive proof, well that must be your science background talking, I've not seen many claims on CV's come with 'proof'. I'd add your skills and think of examples but disregard the dates (for now).

For what it's worth a VERY capable friend of mine gave up teaching in the first year as he described it a life crushing and impossible. Don't blame yourself.

I think school volunteer work is relevant. Blooming hope so!
I will be dipping my toe in job market soon and volunteering has increased my confidence quite a lot.

I am hoping skills I have developed through pretty intensive volunteering will help in seeking work.

What about a general office manager style role for a small company? If you wree dealing with everything from health and safety to HR that might be enough stimulation and your disparate skills would be a plus rather than a minus.

What would you LOVE to do? What, when you think of working would be your absolute DREAM job?

Have you considered doing something completely away from your area of expertise as a stepping stone to "more suitable" work a year or two down the line?

When I was a student, I worked flexible shifts at a supermarket and I was amazed at the range of people I met working there - lots of very qualified people (mostly women) who were using the flexibility offered to fit in the number of hours they wanted to work round family and other commitments.

I think having ANY job makes it easier for you to get another job, it show you can keep time, work with others etc.

I suppose the other idea would be - is there anything you would enjoy doing as a self employed person? Might a lower key, but satisfying, job be better for you from the perspective of protecting your MH?

Could you do some voluntaery work to gain skills and boost your confidence? It would also be good in terms of getting a recent reference.

PTA - strong organisational, negotiation, influencing skills
Tax return - numerate, confident dealing with financial matters, problem solving, technically minded.
Volunteering - 'can do' positive attitude, used to working unsupervised.
Office Manager - (for your husband) - make the most of this! ! Add a bit of structure and formality around what you do. Give it some dates and spin it to your advantage.
Planning and Building control administrator (or similar) - skills = problem solving, negotiation, tenacious (you must be!), organised & prescient!

I'm starting to think I'd give you a job, I bet you'd be great .... only thing you need to sort out is your confidence.

Unlike me I am A* procrastinator!

Ive looked at university admin but have tried yo no avail. Jobs go internally.

Dream job? Vet

Ah but nomat I have I have honorary doctorate in procrastination.

Lack of confidence is my downfall.how can I believe in myself?

You have very good qualification LEM. I wish i had that.

Would it help if you go on Amazon and order some books on careers and self-esteem?

What about an entry level laboratory job in the NHS or related agencies? (search for nhsjobs), or have you tried the agencies - I got a few recognisable names by googling 'lab staff agency uk'. Or could there be anything suitable at a university? Dental nurse?

I know your PHD makes you massively overqualified but if you explain about being a SAHM getting back into the workplace you should at least have a good a chance as any at an interview.

Generally family friendly and good working conditions.

Until recently I was very much in your position OP. It was very hard.

15 years out of the job market raising three children due to no family support ensured that my confidence in my ability to return to work was rock bottom. It was very demoralising and it took me a very long time to find something suitable. Looking for work during a recession didn't help either (talk about bad timing).

I found agencies and the like were in general more disillusioning than helpful. Few selection processes are conducted face to face with another person anymore, as nearly all of it was done anonymously via the internet. It left me feeling I could never really sell my strengths or explain myself to anyone. Just a list of mindless questions that seemed designed to trick people.

I do have a job now though, and I love it so far. It is office admin, 15 hours per week and just three miles from home. It was advertised on the noticeboard in our local newsagent's shop.

Keep pegging away. You sound as if you do have plenty of skills because you help your partner with his business. It can seem as though you are bashing your head against a brick wall for ages and it is tempting to just give up, but something will give eventually and you will find something.