Is this awful? sleep related aibu

[BoldBlackCherry]

Brief back story - kicked idiot DP out a few months ago, it's been very difficult but slowly he is accepting things and starting to become amicable.

Dd2 has been teething the past week or so. She seems to be getting all her teeth in at once and shes been grumpy and not sleeping well. Usually she's a great sleeper, she's 13 months old.

Last night Exdp text me asking me how she was. I replied saying she wasn't in the best of moods and I anticipated a long night with her.

She was up until 4.30 am, crying, moaning and drifting in and out of sleep. Exdp works nightshift so I sent him a text about 4.30 saying I thought she had finally drifted off and I was heading to bed to catch up on some sleep.

DD1 was up a fair bit with the noise last night and went into my bed about 3am after a few hours of broken sleep.

I woke up this morning to my phone going crazy with texts and calls, the house phone ringing like mad and I woke up confused and scared wondering what was wrong.

DD1 and dd2 were both sound asleep and it was 9.30am.

It was Exdp calling me, absolutely furious that I was still asleep at 9.30 am and neglecting the dcs

They were sound, we had been up until the early hours but he still thinks I should have been up starting the day at 7am like normal people.

Aibu to think that there is nothing wrong with sleeping late in the morning occasionally if it's been early hours before we got to sleep?

I will admit that the dcs usually wake up about 8.30am on normal days even with a 8pm bedtime, they have always been like that we aren't really early risers but with dd1 starting school in a couple of weeks I have started trying to get up early every morning and set a new routine for us all.

He says he doesn't think I'm looking after them properly because I'm too lazy to get up.

That wasn't the case, I'm exhausted today and to be honest the dcs were asleep so I took the opportunity to catch up on mine.

Who is being unreasonable?

You made a mistake in texting him at 4.30. You're parents of the same child but as you're no longer partners, you can;t chat about what you're doing while you do it really.

You green lit him to berate you.

Outrageous behaviour from your DP. How dare he!

It sounds to me like he was far more concerned that he couldn't demand attention from you whenever he felt like it than worried for the DCs. Do you always rush to answer his messages and texts? Maybe tell yourself you're not going to answer straight away, to make it clear that you're not at his beck and call.

Btw, what are you doing texting him at 4.30 in the morning to update him that she had gone to sleep? Night shift or no nightshift? HE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION. He has got you thinking that you DO need to tell him stuff like this. It has nothing to do with him. If she had been taken to hospital, then sure - give him a call or text. But for trivia like "she had finally settled" - that sort of exchange is for couples who are still together. You are not - so I think you really need to start acting more separate from him otherwise he is always going to be thinking he can do this kind of thing.

Harassment, like the others have said. Stop accepting his calls and texts, keep contact limited and stick to only necessary discussion like arrangements for seeing the children. He has no right to check up on you like this or dictate when you get up. It's vile and you need to make the boundaries much clearer. Quite unsettling reading really.

It's none of his business what time you sleep to! There's nothing wrong with it anyway, you all obviously needed the catch up or your bodies would have woken you earlier.

I think you really do need to hold him at arms length now, don't give him any opportunity to comment on your life.

Exactly Curly OP you need to draw your own lines. Though it's nice to share the misery of sleepless nights, he's proved he's not capable of knowing where the line is so you will need to stop those kind of texts.

Oh god he's an absolute controlling cunt. Turn your phones on silent and tell him you will no longer put up with his harassment. So what if he does his nut? He's your ex now.

It's absolutely none of his business.

I slept in until 10 this morning, my kids got up soon after. We've had a few late nights, it's the summer holidays, there's lots going on. DH had to go to work, but he'd get his arse handed to him if he tried to dictate what time we should get up. Let alone an ex.

I can stand this earlier than thou approach to early mornings either. I'm a night owl, always have been. Doesn't make me a lesser being to all the early birds.

I'd be switching my phone off

He doesn't sound great.

I agree with everyone on this.

What an absolute turd he sounds!

Me and Ds were in bed until 8.30/9 today. And that was with unbroken sleep!

Ignore him.

tell him you were awake you were just too busy to answer the PHONE!

wish i could sleep too totally sympathise with you my youngest refused to go to sleep until past 12 then he was awake at 5 screaming in his sleep he woke up properly at 6 unfortunately he had already got his (now grumpy) brother up but strangely not his dad who slept in till past 9am bastard ive done some housework i would be lying to you if i told you i was doing more ive planned to im just too tired! my husband is wise and has kept his mouth shut and wiped his mess up off the cooker (he fried an egg it looked like an explosion!)

He's a controlling arse. I often sleep in in DD (15 months) sleeps in. I have the monitor on and get her when the noise goes from I'm bimbling in my cot to Oi, where are you?

YANBU. I love people who aren't living it who think they can tell you that you're doing it wrong.

He'd have been even more cross if it was me, phones are put on silent at bedtime and left that way until we're all eating breakfast.

Does he really think a 4 year old wouldn't wake you up???

He is being controlling.this is harassment.
Stop answering his calls. Keep your phone off until you are up and contact women's aid.
I hope you get some sleep soon.

I wouldn't accept this level of contact from my lovely DH, less still from an ex. You need to put some boundaries in place. Texting him in the middle of the night with non emergency info is too much.