To be petrified about going back to working full time?

[Tingatingatale]

Morning all

Until last year I worked part time. I have worked maximum four days since ds1 was born five years ago. I lost my job last year and have been a SAHM since then. Money is now tight, we have loads that needs doing to the house and I can't carry on being constantly worried about money.

I left an industry I have been in for 16 years. I wasn't going to go back and was looking at a career that would fit round the children. The problem is it would barely cover nursery fees.

My career pays well and it's silly for me to walk away now. Problem is jobs are full time or nothing. It would sort us out financially, take the pressure of dh and allow us a few luxuries.

I am scared though. I have been so lucky to be off with my boys and am scared the impact of me working full time and dh working long hours will have on the family.

How do you make it work?

Thank you

Hi There I've got 3 children and work full time - I used to work pt too but have been ft since the yiugest was 1. It is fine really and I don't think they suffer really. however I work in a job where I can work from hone the odd day and DH and I do a shift system so he goes in early so I can drop them so they get picked up at 5 most evenings so can still have a play in the garden etc in the evenings. I think it works fine, though you have to be organised and get your holiday childcare sorted - but I think it would be harder for, say, 2 lawyers both expected to be in the office until late. I think then you'd have to have a nanny.

Organisation is the key. bags and packed lunches done the night before, clothes laid out etc.

Hi,
I worked part-time for 5 years after my 1st dd was born, mornings only, but decided I needed to go back full time in January, for desperate financial reasons. I was dreading it, it had never been the plan, I was upset that I wouldn't have the time with dds that I had had etc. But it has been the best thing and bizarrely, I have more energy than I ever had and I feel more a part of things at work. I have to be the world's most organised person but I can honestly say that I have never regretted it and not having to worry about money as much has been such a relief.

Hi, I've worked full time since I went back after maternity leave not through choice but circumstance (H decided he was a bit bored of it all....) so I've known nothing else.
However I'm willing to bet that when you were working 4 days a week you were probably doing the work of a full time person but in less time - so from that point of view you might find that workload-wise it's easier. The rest is just organisation, organisation and more organisation!

You don't say what industry but I work in the City which is not generally known for its part time roles and flexibility, but things are changing. I know of two women recently who went for full time advertised positions with large well known companies who happily agreed to flexibility (4 days in one case and 3 days in and one from home in the other). Things are slowly changing and with 16 years experience you're in a strong position to negotiate, whatever the industry.
Good luck!

I work full-time BUT I´m a teacher so outside of 8.45am to 5pm I can work from home and I get holidays. I used to work in an office and travel regularly for business, certainly it would be different if I were still doing that job. I know I´m very lucky to be a teacher in terms of the work/family schedule.

My son was born at the start of June (6 years ago). I just took a few days of maternity leave then went back to work full-time which was a bit painful physically but mentally OK (and perhaps - although I don´t have much to compare it to - leaving him after a longer period of mat. leave, not that it´s a reason to have short maternity leave!)

My daughter was born at the end of June (3 years ago). By that time I was teaching and in fact she was born 2 days after the end of term! I had my normal summer holiday (did a bit of work at home, but had prepared pretty extensively before she was born) then went back to work at the end of August so my mat. leave that time was just under 2 months and I didn´t actually miss any term time. A few other teachers at my school have done a similar thing (i.e. baby born at or just before the end of the academic year) so that they get some time with their baby but then start back the next term.

Sorry, some of this is a bit off-topic but just showing really the differences between jobs - everyone´s circumstances are different.

I would say it seems to be impossible to find part-time work nowadays, in many if not all industries, so if you are wanting to return to work it seems likely that you will have to go full-time. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

I started working FT this year, after 4.5 years either on m/l or working PT. I'd been shunted out of my last job and needed to take this one FT or not work at all - so similar situation to you.

It's been fine. In fact, I would say that for me personally, it's been a great deal better - I feel less frustrated, less ground down and (generally) less tired and stressed. I don't miss all the cooking, tidying up and general running around that I did when I was at home with the children.

It has the added benefit of making me prioritise time with the children over everything else, so that when I'm with them, I'm fully engaged - not just a presence.

I would suck it and see. You're better off in a FT role, with the legal right to at least ask for flexible working, than you would be if you weren't in work at all.

Thank you all. Your messages Have made me feel better! I work in IT. I am going to try and get somewhere with at least flexi time. I am still going to need to do the majority of drop offs and pick ups as h works such long hours. Hoping my house will be tidier with no one here all day!!

I have 3 children and have worked full time since the youngest was 4, but always did p/t mostly and a bit of f/t from when my dc1 was born so have pretty much worked all the way through

Organisation is key, and I would recommend getting a cleaner as soon as you can afford it.

Like others have said, f/t has actually been way more satisfying and in some ways more straightforward because there's no handovers or feeling out of the loop.

Also when you think long term (pension) it'll stand you in much better stead

You really will be fine!

I was going to guess IT, I had to get a ft job when my dc1 was 10 months as various recruitment places said I had no chance of less than ft jobs. I negotiated down to 4 days after a year or so. A lot of IT firms will let you wfh so see if you could leave early on Fridays and catch up one night a week. Also think about public sector IT (think universities etc) pay isn't as bad as you might think, much less stressful, long holidays. Downside can be real lack of progression but I found it very family friendly.

I do advise getting a cleaner and adequate childcare too and compromise your standards on cooking etc, get more ready meals. Even with a low stress ft IT job with some flexitime do factor in extra help especially as oh works long hours so it'll still fall to you, otherwise you'll burn out. Good luck! Also, think about contracting as yo have also done this and easier to take unpaid leave and the extra money you get while contracting can easily cover this, contracting can work out well if you can cover the odd months off between contracts etc.

Thanks all. I would ideally do contracting. They are few and far between though as I can't travel too far or stay overnight. That would be the ideal solution.

Cleaner definitely something I would need, and dog walker!

Sorry, can't offer you any practical advice as I've worked part time for nearly 9 years now but just wanted to say I sympathise so much. i love working pt and have recurrent nihtmares where my boss tells me I have to return to full time.

Are there any of your old firms you could approach where you could wfh but visit the office at the start for a few days to meet and greet/get setup? Best way to find contracts has been contacts for me although it's uncomfortable. Get on linked in if you haven't already and make a few enquiries. I'm hearing the market is picking up a bit but depends on exactly what you do etc.

However scary going f/t is it is not as scary as lying awake at night worrying about money and making ends meet.

All the other suggestions- cleaner, asking for flexi and so on are spot on, but that will be the biggest benefit, so don't underestimate this as a strong motivator to going back. Good luck!

I do feel guilt but I consider I'm putting my dcs long term best interests first ahead of what might be easier on a day to day basis. It's not ideal for them if you're unable to afford much help with university tuition fees or they have to worry about you having an impoverished old age when they're adults.

YANBU to be worried about it but you'll be fine :) I work FT and it was tough at first but we found our balance. I'd second the cleaner & lower cooking standards!! I also have a regular online shop order that comes same time each week & we eat a lot of stir frys & freezer to oven stuff (asda do some really good fish cakes & chicken wrapped in bacon type things) along with bags of veg that we stick in microwave. Dinner now takes about 2 mins but is pretty healthy still :) i also cook a vat of chill/ bolognese whenever I can & freeze it. My friends who work PT feel that they sometimes have the worst of both worlds, the household stuff & a pretty much full time job. You'll be fine xx

Oh and also everyone feels guilty. Was chatting to a friend the other day who is a stay at home Mum, she was saying she feels guilty that her little boy hasn't had the experience of nursery. Everyone's different and we all have our own way of making it work...most of the time xx

I am also an IT contractor and it works surprisingly well with kids. I live near London and work in the City so see them mornings and evenings and can easily take days off/after noons off for sports days, assemblies etc (just don't. get paid but can make it up). I like the flexibility. I'd say if you're in IT you're golden! its a good option for full time working parents - wfh couple of days a week and contract if you can.

and yes to the cleaner! I resisted for a long time but was the best thing I ever did!

I live in a big city so am applying for contracts. It would be my ideal solution. Fingers crossed