To want DS to go to football club as planned today? Name calling...

[CocktailQueen]

DS has gone to football camp 3x this summer and had great time. On Monday he was upset after, said a couple of boys were making fun of his name - on his football shirt, wouldn't stop, he told a coach, who told him to ignore them, but that was it.

Today, he doesn't want to go to football camp as these kids will be there. Have tried to reason with him, said it's a shame to let these boys put him off, he has to stand up for himself etc, but he's adamant.

Dh wants to make DS pay for his missed day and thinks he should man up and go.

What do you think? Help!

You could take him along, speak to the coach, who could perhaps speak to these boys in front of you and your son and try and sort it at the start of the day.

YABU. Why should he spend his holidays being picked on and unhappy? Poor boy.

I think he he should go and not crumble at a bit of teasing..
I am guessing you named him something unusual.That is the downside of a name which seems beautiful and unique to you, but your poor Dc has to live with.

It's a zoo first thing in the morning with everyone registering. Might email them to let them know, and give feedback.

DS can over-dramatise things, so not sure if name calling happened once or all day Monday. He didn't tell me til we'd left on Monday so I couldn't tak to coach then.

Lol queen - no, it's his surname on his shirt which we have no choice about, and which is unusual but not insane or odd. His Christian name is traditional/classic. But thanks ;)

queen I assumed it was a lastname on the back of the football shirt.

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Your DH is being horrible!

Make the poor boy pay for being picked on? I don't think so!

See if you can persuade him to let you talk to the coach while he goes there ( and you should speak to the coach about it anyway).

How old is DS?

Can't he just wear a different shirt?

If you're at home I'd let him stay with you

if it's for childcare reasons that's a whole different kettle of fish

How old is he? I think you do need to speak to the coach not fair to send him off without at least trying to deal with it and really unfair to make him pay!

He's 7. I suggested to ds that he wear a no-name shirt, but he was adamant. Once he's made his mind up...

I'm happy that he stays home with me, and he's happy now he's staying at home...

I'd still email the coaches to say that the reason your ds isn't there today is because the bullying wasn't dealt with on Monday, ds was the one told to ignore it and bullies didn't appear to be told to stop let alone be punished for doing the bullying ( - did they carry on? Add that too if they did). And that your ds is convinced that if he came today he would have been bullied again and had no support from the coaching team to stop it.

They ought to know. And maybe they would let your ds go on a different day with no bullies to make up to him, who knows.

Hes going to have to get over it. This happens in adult life too and if he doesn't learn to fight his own battles his mummy doing it for him is going to male it worse.

Wow - lots of different opinions here, from 'keep him home' to 'send him out there, he has to man up'. Thanks :)

Man Up?! He is a seven year old boy being picked on by a group of his peers and the adult that was supposed have a duty of care towards him doesn't give him any care and it seems did not deal with the bullies either.

I'm not surprised he didn't want to go. damn sure i wouldn't either.

On the other hand, life is going to throw lots of this stuff at him unfortunately and it would be good for him to build some resilience. I have a child who was bullied btw and just didn't tell us about it until it was a major issue.

I'd definitely let him know that you are dealing with it and it wasn't acceptable behaviour from these boys or the coach. The best case scenario would have been what someone suggested earlier in that he goes with you to speak to the coach and manages to join back in again. But as a minimum he needs to know that that behaviour wasn't acceptable and that his parents are prepared to protect him. If your parents cant support you and help you when you are 7 then it's a pretty sorry world.

I'd also point out that sometimes people like to be silly and make fun of people but it is there problem in that they haven't been taught properly. A good way to deal with it in the future is to tell them to stop and if they don't then sometimes ignoring them and just smiling as the coach says can mean that they stop because it isn't any fun when they aren't managing to wind you up.

Otherusername - you're right. He does need to build resilience. Without being there and seeing what happened, it's hard to know if he's over-reacting - if they called him names a few times - or were picking on him all day. I've emailed the football coach, told him what happened, why ds isn't there today, and am waiting for him to get back to me.

We have discussed ways to rise above it with ds - ignore, smile, walk away, tell an adult - and he knows we've emailed his coach, so we are supporting him.