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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be counting down the days until ds (5) goes back up school?

43 replies

Sleepswithbutterflies · 05/08/2014 17:30

I've so looked forward to him being at home but he's bored. He is an only one and stuck with me for company. Last week we were on holiday so that was ok.
We have quite a few play dates arranged - have had one today - but they only last a few hours and ds basically needs do be doing something at all times.
Today we went swimming this morning, then to the library and then met up with a friend at soft play this afternoon. We got back about 4.30 and now the tv is on and he's complaining he's bored.

He's gets up about 5.30am and goes to bed about 8, that's a lonnnngg time to fill. I feel so sorry for him stuck at home with just me. When it rains it's especially difficult but even when dry thinking up activities that last about ten hour but don't cost too much is hard.
We have two big days out planned next week and another two play dates so that should only leave one day free.

Four weeks left and I miss him so much when he's at school but when he's at home I just feel guilty that he's bored and lonely. He has never been good at entertaining himself, the most he will do is 10 minutes absolute tops.

OP posts:

Swanhildapirouetting · 05/08/2014 18:12

ooh I HATE people like that (far too much fun to put the tv on)

It is true that sometimes children like their parents to sit on the sofa with them and watch tv it is that essential ingredient to cosy tv watching!

I wonder whether it isn't just a bit of a shock for him, holiday, then a complete change of pace to be at home. He will settle down soon. Just keep things slow, and he will adjust.

MrsChickPea · 05/08/2014 18:14

My DS is an only one. He is a little older (8) and can occupy himself loads now. Lego/games/reading etc. Likes the TV, but not too much of it. I do feel mean leaving him to his own devices sometimes, but it is how they learn to be creative and I can't be the entertainment all the time. I have however booked up our summer holidays to the max. There are not many free days at all. We have a couple of weeks away, otherwise it's a few clubs/learning things (where I don't have to stay), loads of visiting family, loads of pre-booked days out. It all gets very expensive. Only another month to go! I say plan well in advance. Holidays far easier when it's hot and sunny if space for a paddling pool!

Flangeshrub · 05/08/2014 18:15

Some kids are like that, my DS ( now adult) was always like that as a child. I hated the holidays with him, he made me feel a complete failure as a mother. He hated and still hates his own company. He is the happiest most well adjusted person now with a girlfriend and wide circle of friends.

I have 2 young DDs and they are completely different and I love the holidays with them. Different personalities completely.

Don't feel bad, although I get why you do.

Thumbcat · 05/08/2014 18:20

The answer to "I'm bored" is "well find something to do then". He will...eventually. And never feel bad about having the TV on.

LadyintheRadiator · 05/08/2014 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPnut · 05/08/2014 18:22

I have a massive age gap between my two girls that it's like I have had two only children and imo they do need to be trained to amuse themselves.

My stock answer to one of my kids telling me that they are bored is to tell them to tidy their bedroom, I don't provide suggestions of what they can do but we do have a big stock of paper, pens, lego etc.
I would also look into the odd day in a holiday club if you can afford it just to give your sanity a break - I have been at work every day of the holidays until now.

FrankSaysNo · 05/08/2014 18:23

Give him
a book
colouring equipment
park

Her endeth the entertinemnt

crazykat · 05/08/2014 18:24

It's no better when they have siblings. Ds1 is 5, dd1 is 6 and dd2 is 3 and all I've had for the past two days are variations of 'I'm bored' 'she hit me' 'he kicked me' 'I'm hungry' 'there's nothing to do'.

They have bedrooms full of toys, bikes, scooters, books, millions of loom bands, a slide, seesaw and trampoline (which they've been begging for since last summer) yet they still moan about being bored.

They want to go to Lego land/digger land etc. but we're skint, don't have a car (not that I can drive), I'm behind on uni work and DH can't get time off anyway.

Much as I love spending time with them, I cannot wait till September

Original poster

Sleepswithbutterflies · 05/08/2014 18:26

We have another week away and two long weekends too so that's quite a bit of it.
He is out the bath now and downstairs doing something (?) sometimes I think it is my fault because when he does play on his own I feel so bad about the fact he's playing on his own I will go and join in! I feel bad right now that he's doing something on his own.

Next week we have go ape, a day out to national trust property, two play dates and had forgotten but also was planning to take him to local fun day so that's every day next week accounted for I think.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepswithbutterflies · 05/08/2014 18:28

Yes my ds has plenty of books, toys, craft stuff, outdoor toys etc... Way more than I ever did for sure.
He doesn't really play with it though. Part of why he has so much is I've desperately tried to find something that he will play with but still looking.

OP posts:

MrsPnut · 05/08/2014 18:43

sometimes I think it is my fault because when he does play on his own I feel so bad about the fact he's playing on his own I will go and join in! I feel bad right now that he's doing something on his own.

That's why he can't entertain himself - don't go and join in if he is playing happily by himself, enjoy those few moments of peace and quiet instead.

Deverethemuzzler · 05/08/2014 18:55

I am not anti tv (I would be a flipping hypocrite if I was) but I have started to restrict it severely lately.

I have three of my five DCs at home and DC3 is particularly dependent on the tv to entertain himself. He was so rubbish at playing that I had to do something.

He just wouldn't bother because he knew that if he waited long enough the tv would go on. This was true and entirely my DPs fault.

Once he realised that tv was an hour a day and he could chose what and when he watched he got a lot more discerning and has now began to find things to do.

Stick it out for a bit. Leave him to his own devices, he WILL eventually get the hang of it.

Then you can do stuff together and let him have bit of tv as part of his daily routine.

Deverethemuzzler · 05/08/2014 18:56

That should be DC4 (sorry DC3)

noblegiraffe · 05/08/2014 19:05

Your problem isn't that your DS is bored (or says he is bored), it's that you're making it your problem and feeling guilty about it.

Stop it! If he says he is bored say 'oh dear, what are you going to do about it?'

VeraGrant · 05/08/2014 19:17

Dd, my eldest, has always needed constant stimulation and has always been utterly unable to entertain herself (despite many attempts to train her!). My two boys came along and are completely different so I don't know if it's a pfb thing or just her personality.

When she started school things were even worse in the hols because she had become more used to having peers around and activities all day. Hence I decided to book her into various holiday clubs/ activities here and there throughout the summer, and it's been a huge success! Win win, as she comes back tired and very very happy, and I've had a breather. Obviously we still spend lots of time together but the clubs just break the time up a bit

Wisteria36 · 05/08/2014 19:30

I have a five year old like that - dh and I end up doing shifts playing with him when we're at home.I bought him some DVDs for the holidays but he doesn't want to watch them! I second the poster who said plan in advance and make sure there are not too many free days, I have a baby too and putting the five year old in camps has really helped. Mostly he goes 3 days per week 3-5 hours a day so there is plenty of time left to play at home etc but it really gives us a break and time for housework, work emails etc. We do roughly one day trip to a museum or similar per week, mostly free ones as in London and he has had some play dates. Tomorrow he has camp and then tea at his best friend's house :) You're right that it is hard because there is a guilt inducing expectation that it will all be beautiful and rosy and everyone will play happily but we still have work stuff to get on with and I think ds needs structure and other kids to play with too. Roll on September!

SapphireMoon · 05/08/2014 19:38

Fore cast is rain tomorrow.
I second the idea of cardboard boxes.
Could perhaps be Iggle Piggles boat? A pirate ship? Cushions for Islands.
A magic house with toys and books in, a time machine etc.
Try a big blanket over a table for a den [if your table not covered in crap like mine is!].
Good luck!

SapphireMoon · 05/08/2014 19:38

Can have Cbeebies while resting in box/ boat/ time machine!!

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