Am I being unreasonable?

[hankyspanky]

I have a lodger.

Last week I had cause to tell him verbally that his slack attitude to security of the house was unacceptable. Twice now I have found the main entry doors left, not just unlocked but wide open. Once upon returning from London at 11pm and last week at 2.30am.

I explained I wouldn't compromise on security, having been burgled once before.

Last night I was woken up at 11.15pm by a strong burning smell. I rushed downstairs and found the kitchen window wide open. Lodger had obviously tried to fry something (even though I supply an evening meal) and the smell of burnt fat was awful. Sink full of dishes (again) and lodger fast asleep and not answering my knocks on his door.

Would I be unreasonable to tell him to leave?

We have no written agreement and I've also noticed hes damaged furniture in his room.

I don't feel safe in my home and feel I cannot even go away for the night as I simply don't trust him.

Have you told him to go yet?

Definitely get rid.

Not sure where you'd stand with the damage to the furniture though as you didn't have a tenancy agreement, and therefore an inventory.

Yes, get rid ASAP. I had a flatmate like this, but we had separate leases with the landlord so I couldn't do a thing about it. I tried to explain that our insurance would be invalidated if he left the doors open when he went out, but it was like I was speaking another language... He even said "I'm not going to shut and lock the French windows if I'm just going out for twenty minutes!" as though I'd made an unreasonable demand! Dick. I'd been there for three years, and moved out within five months of him moving in.

He was always shagging random birds, never had sheets on his bed, and never washed up, and the kitchen was always filthy! Could it be the same guy?!

How annoying. What kind of idiot does things like that? I hope he leaves without causing a disturbance.

Oh Carmine I wonder if he is the same person

I told him about the window yesterday and he looked at me as though I was stupid. His reply was that it was 'stuffy' in the kitchen. (No it wasn't, you had just burnt yet another pan after being told not to put them on full heat with oil in )fucking stupid idiot

He's now on his very last chance. Anything else and he will be told to leave with minimum notice.

Ring citizens advice not 101 if you want advice. It is civil law not criminal law.

Purple, the advice to ring 101 was in relation to his reaction on being told to leave, not the legal position. (This was my belief, correct me if I'm wrong!)

Yeah that's why I said that. And 101 are perfectly happy to discuss this with you as it could possibly prevent it escalating into an incident in which 999 is needed ;)

He's now on his very last chance
What??? Why???
No more chances.
Give him notice and get him out.
He won't suddently become a nice person because you give him 'one last chance'
You don't need this.
Get rid and get yourself a nice lodger.
Don't put up with it because you feel like he might kick off.
Did you call 101 for advice on what would happen if he does get nasty.
And yes, the 101 suggestion was to get advice and warn them in case things escalated.

Don't put up with it!
It is YOUR house.

I second everything melons says. Does your DD, or anybody else live with you? You, really, really, need to get rid of him ASAP. Perhaps you could take a photo of the lock and email it to a locksmith for an idea of how much it would cost to change?

BTW, how did you find him? Was it through an agency, advert, friend of a friend?

You need to put your personal safety before anything else.
He needs to go asap.
No more chances, he's not going to change.
There is no way that I'd put up with that.

Why are you giving him another chance? You were pissed off with him already, he's talking to you and treating you like you're an idiot yet you own the place. He's not going to get nicer, he's not going to get more reasonable, he's just going to get more settled and more difficult to move him out !!

Sod the cost: get the locks changed for your peace of mind and have support when you throw him out. If he makes any threats or turns nasty, report him to the police.

He's only getting another chance for two reasons!

I hardly see him, which is perfect and I'm going to be at home full time for the next couple of months so can 'monitor' him more carefully.

To be honest, I think he will decide to leave when I tell him that under no circumstances can he iron upstairs in his room any longer. He can use the utility room as everyone else has ever done!!

I seem to come across as someone with draconian rules reading this back but honestly I'm not! The unwritten rules concerning safety and security were what I assumed was common sense, obviously not. The only other rule I won't compromise on is shoes must be removed in the hallway. He did ask how he was meant to put his shoes on in the hallway with there being no chair I told him if my 18 month old grand daughter could manage it then I'm sure it wasn't beyond his capabilities .

He is an arse. He won't get any better. You are just delaying the inevitable but at least getting some money out of him I hope

More fool you sweetheart.

Get rid now. There is no way he will improve his behaviour. Tell him to pack his bags and be gone by tomorrow.

Oh my god, get rid of him ASAP. Can't believe your giving him another chance!!

If I were you, I would say he had to vacate the room, as your brother and his wife (or some other relatives) need to move in right away. Because, he sounds like he could be unpleasant to be around if he felt that you were "kicking him out" due to any fault of his.