To not understand how some people afford to have so many children?

[KiKiFrance]

I mean this as a genuine question, but how the heck do they do it?

We have 3 DCs as that was all we could afford, yet I know families that have only one very average income that just seem to keep having children, and affording nice things, activities and holidays too.

Someone I know has just had her fifth baby. They are very early thirties and her DH works in a supermarket, and she is a SAHM, so obviously not on a high income, yet they always have nice clothes, the older children to lots of activities, they have a lovely new build house which is decorated beautifully, always eat out, and they bought all new (expensive) baby equipment for baby #5. She has also said to me that they'll have a sixth baby at some point, and possibly a seventh too!

The other person that I know has 4 children. Her DH is a chef but is always in and out of work, but again they seem to have such nice things, and her children to lots of activities and clubs. One of her sons has just had a huge birthday disco in a hall, and she said it cost over £300. They too are planning to have more children.

Our income is good, yet we generally can't afford half the things that they can, and certainly could never have afforded a 4th child, even though I would have quite liked another baby.

Teens cost huge amounts more than toddlers ( excluding childcare costs). I have 3 teenage boys who eat man sized meals ( and more!), take man sized clothes and shoes / Trainers etc and want to do expensive things like go to footbal matches and go-karting. A family holiday in a caravan is no longer a cheap option as they are so tall they won't fit in the kiddie beds ! And once they hit the teens they won't settle for charity shop clothes or even hand me downs from older brothers without a huge fuss. That's before we even start to think about helping them through Uni (they are all 2 school years apart so we are facing years of 2 at Uni at the same time). I don't know how we will cope. We are over the threshold for any tax credits or the grants which cover living costs for kids at Uni for low income families. It's a worry but we will do it somehow I guess.

The thing with teenagers is they're inevitably going to eat more than toddlers

I misread this and thought it said "eat more toddlers"

And just to add my eldest does a paper round every morning before school for the great sum of £7.50 a week which doesn't go far ! My second eldest boy cannot get a paper round asthere is so much competition. All the local kids are desperately competng for small gardening jobs/ car washing etc but there is only so much work going. for young girls it seems to be even harder . When I was 13 I was babysitting and earning good money but nowadays parents don't seem comfortable with letting teenagers babysit young children, well this is my experience.

Its still over 70 a week and will be more with no 3 then including 88 for first child, 66 for the others drama, 25 a week tuition, savings, clothes, trips with friends etc. I dont see it getting any more expensive.

they are expensive at uni. poor dd had a holiday job lined up but had to do a placement at the same time which took precedent (sp)? and so it impacts on us.

other dd gap year so no cb but around now and off to uni for 4 year course, expensive times.

DiaDuit

Ah I see now, mine weren't materialistic and were leaders rather than followers. Peer pressure passed us by and seems to be doing so with dd.
I did notice the shower thing, but we bought a timer from pound shop and dh is a stickler for utility wastage.
He comes in sometimes and announces you could see our house from space or some analogy to Blackpool Illuminations.
I guess ours have been good on the not asking for stuff, I never realised.
I feel really proud now

Although I've met teenagers, lads in particular, who probably could eat a toddler or two and still not be full.

and it would help reduce food bills further wouldn't it?

I can lose my home with as little as 28 days notice. regardless of whether I am on time with my rent, keep it like a palace, do repairs myself etc. I don't need to lose my job, it is entirely out of my control if my LL decides to give notice, he can, for no reason. believe me when I say that I do indeed have that fear.

But you won't be left with tens of thousands of pounds of debt and repossession fees owing.

teens dont cost more,i can only imagine those that say that have younger children or their adults now

i have 2 teen boys

one example last week my teen son wanted to buy a pair of Lacoste trainers (yes yes i know mega £££) anyway he had earned some money so i said i would go half he needed new anyway, they cost £70 so he paid £35 i paid the rest,hes 15yrs and yes he wants the brands

rewind 10yrs and i would of got him a pair for £8-10 big saving

the list is endless at the extra cost and im not talking spoiling them just everyday thinks

and if you have a teen boy it will cost you atleast £20 amonth in Lynx

you are lucky morethan. mine aren't teens yet so happy in charity shop stuff and hand me downs but I don't know if it will last. ds1 is so easily led and swallows every line his fibbing exaggerating friends spin him. I am a stickler for the lights being off etc though so will be banging on the bathroom door no doubt. they both asked for pony lessons yesterday

it is more expensive with teens petrol for constant taxiing, girls want bras and their boobs keep growing, toiletries, tampax obviously

also mobile phone contracts or payg not going far.

ds isn't too bothered about labels thank goodness

driving lessons

Mine is gojng to cost me more once he gets to high school : mobile phone, school bus fares, dinner money.....

I have toddlers and teens, the teens are much more expensive to run!

But you won't be left with tens of thousands of pounds of debt and repossession fees owing.

no, however that wasn't what you were talking about in your post. you said that people renting don't have the fear of losing their home if they lose their job.

People who have bought homes always have the fear of losing their home if they lose their job for whatever reason whereas people renting don't have that same fear.

I responded saying I have that fear even without having to lose my job.

My ds could always eat for England, even as toddlers.
Dh has a big appetite too, they are typical meat and 3 veg type.
All the expensive stuff though like school trips, uniform, school dinners, music lessons are subsidised for dc from low incoe families.
Not that we were entitled to them apart from one year anyway.

alemci
It only impacts on you if you can afford it. My ds was in a similar position but couldn't afford a gap year as he was funding himself through uni whilst working full time. Luckily his employer was happy to give him time off to undertake the compulsory work placement he had to do.
If you can't afford to help them they have to grow up andfind a way themselves.

im rolling my eyes that teenagers dont cost more [confused

Childrens shoes cost an arm and leg anyway. Ive had to paid 47 for a pair of startrite ones for school. My dv all have high instep and never had a pair of shoes under at least 30 except on sale doodles.

Those who say teens are more expensive that toddlers presumably aren't using paid childcare at 49 quid per child, per day. Yoyu can get a lot of lacoste trainers and lynx for that

Its a different way of doing things on here as well. Dc wont be getting anything for uni as its up to them to sort themselves. I have savings for them but for house deposits/when they are married etc

Honestly, my teenage boys didn't cost me any more than when they were primary. Their sport was free or subsidised by their club whilst in education.
I can quite see that dd will be another matter, she is only 10.
My ds are 22 (nearly 23) and 19 (20 in December) so it wasn't a long time ago that I was going through what many consider the expensive times.
I can't comment on childcare differences as never used it.
Although, they didn't have designer labels, well much anyway, we still managed to afford new clothes from high street shops. Charity shops round here are not good so wouldn't use them.
Phones and entertainment came out of tax credit and cb as this money is for dc anyway. As did food, hea etc.
You just don't let them take the piss, and if you can't afford much how can they be expensive?

to be fair she did self fund for gap but she is back home so she will need feeding plus stuff for uni. if she needs money now she will have to do jobs around the house.

valid point BarbaraPalmer

but round here jobs dont pay that to be able to afford childcare like that

thats what this thread is about really,some familys are better of with one working and one staying at home and being within the TC remit