Long time reader, first time poster.
Me and my husband will be attending a friends wedding in a few weeks and I need to ask AIBU regarding my feelings about giving money as a wedding gift?
USEFUL INFO FOR YOUR AIBU JUDGEMENT: The wedding is abroad and will be costing us around 1500 (flights, accomodation etc) to attend (it's in a small village where flights are irregular and there is not much choice in way of accomodation). My husband is one of the best men and will be also spending around 500 on attending and contributing towards the stag do. I am almost 5 months pregnant and we have just moved flat so we there's a lot in the way of outgoing expense at the moment.
I have asked the bride and groom if they have a gift list as was planning on buying a small gift and have been told that they would be most happy with money. I feel a bit upset to have been asked to give money as can't afford to give very much (considering various recent expenses which are known to bride and groom) and think it would look stingey to put 20 in with the card, where as I could probably buy a nice and thoughtful gift with this. Apparantly in the culture of the country we are visiting/grooms nationality, it is custom to give money (approx to the value of what the bride and groom would have spent for you to attend). AIBU to be stressed out and what would you do? Should I turn up with nothing, buy a small gift or cough up the cash? And if I'm not giving cash should I make this known by responding to their reply stating they would like money?
GULP