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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think MNHQ have double standards?

58 replies

JenniferJo · 05/08/2014 06:05

If a thread is racist, sexist, homophobic or disablist then MNHQ leap in and delete offensive posts, comment on the thread and (often) delete the entire thread.

Yet ageist threads are allowed to continue for days. Doesn't seem right to me.

OP posts:
BIWI · 05/08/2014 08:33

MNHQ don't have double standards. But they also don't read every single thread - that would be impossible. Therefore if something is an issue, you need to report it.

I agree with you OP I am often angered by the casual ageism on this site. Lots of them pop up in Chat or Style and Beauty - things like "Am I too old at 30 to wear ..." Yes, it may be a trivial thing, but it promulgates the view that at a certain age certain things are no longer allowed.

I challenge it every time on the thread. And I also report it if I feel it's worth deleting.

Unless you draw MNHQ's attention to it, they can't do anything!

HappyAgainOneDay · 05/08/2014 09:06

A definition of ageism, please, OP.

BBC gets rid of female presenters aged 50+ (men in their 70s still have them). That's what I'd call ageism - where it's not fair on a section of society.

When should we stop having sex making love (because we still do that in our 80s, you know ......)

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:14

I have in the past questioned a posters age for their view. It isn't insulting. It helps put a person in context. I know if they were born in 1970s then x happened in history and y will have shaped views. Same if 1950s or 1980s. It can aid views in casual racism, or homophobia, or aids, or feminism.

Equally some exceptionally prim views (pearls, bosoms, what do the joneses think?! I could never do x it's so anti etiquette!) can also be partially explained or contextualised when age is included. Maybe because the op is spouting a learnt phrase/behaviour and not one they have ever challenged as maybe they didn't think to. I've heard some right odd views from what turns out to be 25-35 yr olds and it then becomes clear it's parroting off parents. Age can assist discussion.

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:14

"Unless you draw MNHQ's attention to it, they can't do anything!"

But the deletion decisions do sometimes seem a bit arbitrary. Surely if no individual is being attacked, there is value in the the thread staying? And I think people should be allowed to say whether they want personal attacks deleted or not. Sometimes it's better if they stay- deletions can lead to speculation and "glossing over".

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:17

"Equally some exceptionally prim views (pearls, bosoms, what do the joneses think?! I could never do x it's so anti etiquette!) can also be partially explained or contextualised when age is included."

Yep, because those behaviours are so typical of people who were teenagers in the 60s! You know! the era of free love and The Rolling Stones! Grin

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:18

Also, serious question, is odfod now banned? Can we odfod or are odfod less due to this policy change.

I like odfod. Succinct without actually being downright nasty. Be sad if it's an odfod less barren land now....

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:20

And hang on, picklepest- feminism? feminism?? please do 't tell me you think older women are likely to be anti feminsm!

(I apologise if I have misunderstood you)

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:22

Being born in 60s or just previous doesn't force hippy free thinking views. Roy 'Chubby' brown anyone...?

Pearls bosom hoiking etc have all been brought into mn and are regularly bandied about as being an mn persona. And yes often resonate with certain ages.

Original poster
JenniferJo · 05/08/2014 09:23

I'm a fully paid up member of the bra burning generation. And proud of it. I know some people's views change as they get older but mine are pretty much the same as they were when I started university.

And I still march for causes I believe in.

It's horrible to be "dismissed" or ignored because of your age. Just as horrible as it is to have that happen if you are black, disabled or gay.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:25

"Pearls bosom hoiking etc have all been brought into mn and are regularly bandied about as being an mn persona. And yes often resonate with certain ages."

Which ages in particular?

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:25

Feminism no sorry I don't mean anti fem, just that being born at a certain time can shape views drastically on these subjects. So can upbringing, and other social factors obvs. But age can be very telling. Various things been discussed recently where there became clear lines on thinking. (Hairy legs for example) it's not an exact science by any stretch but in an anonymous situation you take any info you can really.

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:27

Plainly not 20yr olds. Always reminds me of les Dawson.

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:28

So, could you be a bit more specific about the age of "pearl clutchers"?

O

DrankSangriaInThePark · 05/08/2014 09:28

There is a lot of ageism on MN, yes.

Mainly of the "old bag smiled at my baby in Asda, AIBU to have told her to fuck off and then killed her dead" sort of level of intelligence from the OP.

I report frequently, sometimes they get deleted, sometimes they stand.
As, sadly, do disablist and sexist posts at times.

As BIWI says, HQ don't read every thread unless they're alerted to something I guess. And it does seem sometimes to depend who is in charge of the big red button.

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:29

See? I remember him. So you can extrapolate. And some of what you say will be right and some wildly wrong. Not exact but gives you some info to discuss and the thread moves on...

:)

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:34

Right. So on a thread about ageism it's being suggested that older women are "bosom hoikers and pearl clutchers" and are likely to have.....less than liberal .......views on race and sexuality.

Oh, the irony.

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:35

Haklyut. I can't stand pearl clutching phrase tbh. I hate that's a thing that defines mn in press. But plainly an awful lot of people here embrace, encourage and positively enjoy that sort of persona.

I really don't get why. I guess now nearest is Bree from desperate housewives...? Another one I'm not desperate myself to align with but then sometimes I guess it's attractive I'm just not consistently perfect enough to be successfully stepford. If that's a failing ha ha

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:41

"But plainly an awful lot of people here embrace, encourage and positively enjoy that sort of persona"

And you assume the ones that do are older women exactly why?

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:42

No. They are all ages. Tends to be why I ask.

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 09:43

And it would be interesting if you said more about this-

"I have in the past questioned a posters age for their view. It isn't insulting. It helps put a person in context. I know if they were born in 1970s then x happened in history and y will have shaped views. Same if 1950s or 1980s. It can aid views in casual racism, or homophobia, or aids, or feminism."

BIWI · 05/08/2014 09:45

If it's all ages then what's the point in asking? Confused

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:51

Ok. Not like I ask every poster their age. Not on every thread either. But I have when felt relevant. I've had mine questioned when I 'obvs' or 'totes' or other modern phrase. I've been told I can't be taken seriously. Like I'm a teenager. (Handy bit of ageism there too..)

Picklepest · 05/08/2014 09:55

Because I then think about it again. Does it resonate with me? Why? Which experience? Or something I've heard of? Can I associate to it or not? Does it make me want to question more or actually agree? It's a conversation. When it's anonymous you still look for links. Age/experience is a link.

Hakluyt · 05/08/2014 10:04

So how old are you?

cingolimama · 05/08/2014 10:14

OP, I agree there's a lot of casual ageism on MN.