to think inconsolable toddler trumps a few beers?

[nextyearsgirl]

Partner and I have just agreed to trial separation. He is still in the spare room but I am trying very hard to keep my distance. We have a 1.5yo DS.
He works long hours and has stayed out drinking after work every night he hasn't had full childcare responsibilities (I.e. 1 night).
DS has had a very unsettling couple of weeks, coupled with some awful teething. Tonight he has been on all fours thrashing around screaming in his sleep every 30 minutes. I have been up since 4am, no idea what I can do for him, he won't even let me cuddle him.
So, in desperation I call partner to ask advice. He starts very friendly and casually until I ask if he would come home to help. (He can hear DS in the background Roaring.) And his response is to whine he wanted a few beers, then get annoyed and ask what I would do in a few weeks when he moves out. Was I unreasonable to ask for support from my child's father under the circumstances?

I agree Wigglylines, with every point you make.

You're right, your ex should step up and be a proper father to his child. But there's no point you waiting and hoping for that to happen, because it never will. Aside from the the genuine mental illness, his refusal to take medication in order to drink, his selfishness and his general twattishness all show that this man isn't a suitable father at the moment.

I agree with previous posters that you should make a note of all the times you have asked for parenting support, or help to move, and he has ignored you to drink / disappear. I would also take DS to the GP / practice nurse / health visitor to get him checked over and make sure there's nothing more than teething bothering him, and while there I would ask them to record your concerns over your ex's fitness to have unsupervised contact given his current behaviour - it doesn't seem that he is in a position to put his child's health and safety first.

Surely, if this is a trial separation then it is showing just where his priorities lie.

I guess it will end up a permanent separation.

Are you moving into separate living arrangements now OP?