To think this is not voluntary

[Thefishewife]

AIBU to think being told come to mediation or face thousands worth of court costs in a ugly court battle dose not mean mediation is voluntary

Just had to speak to the mediator today as ex has broke the agreement yet again which is doubly annoying as he brought me to mediation ffs

But after talking to the mediator guy he tried to point out that I came voluntary I pointed out

Telling someone to come to mediation or face financial ruin in the courts is hardly voluntary (and yes ex got his part of the mediation paid for because he's a god dam bum)

it is a first step?

Not really he's broke the agreement with in a week of us sighing it then again 6 months later then again yesterday

But the thing that pisses me off he said it as if I didn't have a gum to my head practically

Yeah, it's not much of a choice then is it?

But just because you show up, doesn't mean you have to cater to ex's terms.

If it does go to court you can point and say "Look, I tried to be reasonable and work it out, but he's not working with me".

You're doing good, and you're covering your ass with this, frustrating as it is.

Why do you have to pay court costs if he's taking you to court?

You don't need a solicitor

I often wonder how people afford it...

But to answer your question it sounds like you have no choice. Sorry! Hopefully your ex will burn those bridges as well, if he misses too many more mediations then you won't have to go either.

Sounds like your ex is using mediation to control you. Its about time mediators and counsellors woke the fuck up to this!

Oh god you have no idea he was told because he hadn't seen my son in 10 years over nights and Christmas was not on the cards but he could write to him to build bridges the letter arrived with his sisters address on it one on the ongoing issues he won't give address or phone number to me or ds because of this ds put the letter in the bin however I fished it out and put it away in case he changes his mind

Also supposed to pay maintenance the mediation guy suggested £127 which is what the CSA recommend he's wanted to show off says no no I will pay £300 a month we haven't revived a penny so far

He was also told no direct contact with ds so not to put any pressure and at this age you had to leave it to the teen to make their own mind up and that once ds received the letter which was last year ex had to leave it to ds to respond

Yesterday at my exs dad's house a note was taped to a xbox please call me please with a phone number ffs

Some mediation isn't voluntary any more - it was, but the rules changed. Check with the CAB as to whether you have to go or not.

Buster you miss read me I could have chosen not to go however I would of faced court and had to pick up the bill and faced bankruptcy to pay for it

So in my view that's hardly a choice others are correct I don't have to have legal representation just like you can choose nit to have a doctor tend your broken leg but your likely to come in stuck doing a diy la law bit

He IS using the mediator to abuse you. Please call Womens Aid for advice.

Why cant these so called professionals see it when it is staring at them in the face.

Ah I see YOU are having to pay OP.

And all becomes clear

I have looked into filing a vexascious Litigent grevance against him however my lawyer said is was really hard to prove espically in contact disputes

I can't be arsed now ds says he's keeping the ex box which I was not sure about at all but thinks ex is a dick and won't be seeing him and tonight I will have a word with the granddad about keeping ds emotionally safe if not then ds cannot see him with out supervision