To not want a stranger babysitting

[1tiredmummy]

It's pretty self-explanatory really my husband saw an advert for a qualified 18 looking for babysitting work in the local cafe on the notice board. He took down the number and said it'll be useful in the future, well today is my birthday so he wants to take mad out for drinks on Saturday, when I asked him about who was looking after the kids he said he has the number for a babysitter. I don't even know thus girls name am i being unreasonable not to want a complete stranger having sole responsibility for my two year old and nine month old?

YANBU. It doesn't matter what age the babysitter is, the children are too young, they'll be unsettled with a new person.

At those ages, I wouldn't be very comfortable either. But I would meet/interview the babysitter and if you like her you can use her next time.

No way! YANBU. I'd only ever use family or close friends who the children know well.

At that age I'd be uncomfortable with leaving them with a stranger after just meeting them that night. I'd want to have a background check and check with references before leaving my children with someone.

So, yanbu, to do it off a quick meeting that night, but yabu if you never want to get out because you're afraid to hire a sitter.

You've left it a bit late now, but, usually, a potential baby sitter is happy to come and get to know you before they look after your children. They bring their references, any first aid certs they have etc and you check them. A 2 yr old and a 9 month old are not too young to be babysat for.

YANBU at all. She is a stranger to both you and to your children. If you want to hire a babysitter for the future, you would need to get to know her first and check her references and have her round to get to know the dc.

YANBU. I would never do this.

If it makes you feel better, DH wanted to leave DD with one of the neighbors we only met once. Told him no, and his answer was that we'd get secret nanny cams. WHAT?!

That was an interesting talk that night about ethics and why catching someone abusing DD isn't any consolation to her being mistreated in the first place.

YANBU. The only time I've ever used a 'proper' babysitter and not just done an exchange with a good friend it has been a member of staff from DD's nursery.

YANBU because that's how you feel.

However, our babysitter is a local teenager who advertised. We met her first, and introduced her briefly to DD, but as she comes once DD is in bed (and DD now sleeps through) then she doesn't have any interaction with DD. So in that sense, I am happy just to pay someone I feel seems responsible to sit in my house, having absolutely nothing to do with the toddler who is snoring upstairs, on the 0.01% chance that something needs doing.

Our babysitter is young, yes, but she's a very friendly, polite girl and most importantly a) seems sensible, and b) her parents live about a dozen houses away and support her babysitting and will help out in an emergency (and as one parent is medically qualified, they're probably going to be better in an emergency than I am ). So no references, no CRB check, no first aid certificates.

But that's going to depend on your child, what you need your babysitter to do, and how much interaction you expect them all to have.

So how does it work for those of you that use agencies? do you pay the sitter to come round and socialise first?

It's good to know it's not just me. The thought of having a stranger in my house alone with my children is really unsettling I heard too many stories where the children are abused if the house is robbed.

Yanbu, there's just no taking chances when it comes to your kids. You have absolutely no idea what this person is like. In any case you probably won't have a relaxing evening out as your mind will be at home.

We would have used teenagers to babysit when our DC were that age, however they were always people who had been recommended to us, and we always met them before - to say hello and talk through routines, the house etc.

I was a bit recently when a parent I know said she couldn't come on a night out because her parents weren't available to babysit, and she would only leave her DD with her parents. The DD is 9.

Well I've spoken to the babysitter, she is only 16 but she's a mature 16 if that makes sense she seems very switched on knows about children and has had some first aid training but the kids will be in bed when she arrives. I was really worried when I called her that she would be some dense chav out for a bit of quick cash upon fact she is the opposite.

So you are now coming round to the idea of a 16 year old who initially claimed to be 18 taking care of your 9 month old baby and another toddler at night?

That sounds fantastic.

I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my kids with someone I didn't know and certainly not someone I didn't know who is only 16. Not a chance...

How did Christie ever get the Babysitter's Club up and running?

So the kids wake up and see a total stranger in their house and mummy and daddy not there - how do you think that will go?
The children should meet her first, my children are 5 and 9 and our 16 year old neighbour sometimes babysits but I have known her since she was 5 and she has known the children since birth.
Even if she isn't a " chav" ( nice by the way) doesn't mean she can cope with small hysterical children wondering who the bloody hell she is!!

Surely it depends on whether the babysitter will end up having any involvement with the kids?

If you know your child goes to sleep and then doesn't wake up again (baring say illness, in which case I imagine most parents would cancel their plans anyway) then you are essentially just paying someone you feel is sensible to sit in your house as a back up.

That's not to judge anyone whether they would or wouldn't use a teenage babysitter, but surely it is down to each parent to decide what they feel comfortable with.