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AIBU?

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Original poster

To serve the cake at the party?

37 replies

Haahoooo · 04/08/2014 10:28

I have organised a small party at home for DD's second birthday. Some people I know, and some I don't (invited a few children who DD apparently plays with a lot at nursery, plus their parents). The party will be from 2 until 5pm.

If this was in Holland (where I am from), once all the guests had arrived you'd sing happy birthday, blow out candles and then serve the birthday cake. This, together with coffee, tea, lemonade and maybe some additional little cakes or sweets, would be all that was served at the party.

But I think here it is more common to put the cake in bags for people to take home and serve something else (what? proper food?) at the party.

Would you think it is very odd if you went to a party where you were served the actual cake to eat then and there? And would you expect proper food at a party like this instead of or in addition to cake?

Thanks!

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 04/08/2014 10:32

2-5 is a very long time for a 2 year old's party, 2 hours or even 1.5 hours would be better.

I would expect proper food if it were earlier, most parties are around lunch time. So for a party starting at 2, snacks and the cake would be fine.

fluffyraggies · 04/08/2014 10:34

Personally i wouldn't find either plan strange or unusual. Just candles and cake and coffee/tea when everyone has gathered sounds lovely. I'd do that happily.

A larger or longer 'do' might include extra food. Older kids parites usually include a party bag - but it doesn't sound like a ''jelly and ice cream/party games/ party bag'' sort of get-together.

2 - 5 doesn't run over a meal time, so therefore i wouldn't expect to provide that meal, IYSWIM? Cake and coffee is adequate IMO.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 04/08/2014 10:40

I wouldn't expect anything lol I think it can be so competitive and ridiculous that some people expect so much tbh. I have done parties for lots of kids ( ha ha all mine!) and ice done everything from no food and just cake to potted dog sandwiches with jelly and ice cream. Never the same twice so no expectations [ grin].

I also think you are very brave to do three hours actually you deserve a medal

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 04/08/2014 10:41

Oh and I am also the evil mother who doesn't do party bags mwah ha ha ha *that's myevil cackle!

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 04/08/2014 10:43

And apologise for fat finger small phone syndrome!

ilovepowerhoop · 04/08/2014 10:43

nothing wrong with serving the cake at the party. I would also maybe do some other nibbles e.g. crispy cakes, crisps and dips, maybe some cut up fruit, etc

Original poster
Haahoooo · 04/08/2014 10:47

Ah thank you, that is very reassuring.

Yes, three hours is maybe a bit long, but I'm hoping it'll be quite relaxed with grown-ups chatting and the children entertaining themselves and the invitations have already gone out oops

I might do a little table with sweet and savoury snacks for all ages in case anyone is hungry (pasta salad, cold meatballs, cheese cubes, that sort of thing).

My main 'thing' is that I'd really like to serve the cake at the actual party, but it sounds like that will be ok and people won't think it's very odd...!

OP posts:
WhoDaresWins · 04/08/2014 10:48

Potted dog sandwiches?

wigglesrock · 04/08/2014 10:50

I've always served the cake at a party Smile, both at home and at outside parties ie soft play.

Bue · 04/08/2014 10:52

I've never been to a birthday party, children's or otherwise, where the cake wasn't served at the party Confused Where does this happen?

LizzieMint · 04/08/2014 10:58

I think at organised-outside-the-home parties it's more normal to do the cake in bags because bringing the cake out is usually the last thing to be done so there's just not time for it. I always serve cake at the party - cakes in party bags always seem to get left for a few days until they are dried out and horrible whereas cake in front of you gets eaten straight away!

TheCowThatLaughs · 04/08/2014 11:02

I'd be pretty surprised by potted dog sandwiches, not so much by cake served at the party

CMOTDibbler · 04/08/2014 11:02

I serve cake at the party, but as part of sat down eating. Most people don't like children walking round eating, so I'd serve party tea (meatballs, cheese, whatever you like) then cake

fluffyraggies · 04/08/2014 11:05

I've never tried potted dog either GrinWink

Sixgeese · 04/08/2014 11:09

I always serve the birthday cake at the party, mainly as I hate fishing the squishy cake out from the party bags when my DC go to parties.

I get the children to sing Happy Birthday at the start of the party tea, then do the usual party savoury party food and serve the cake with a few different cakes and fruit at the end.

MrsWombat · 04/08/2014 11:24

Serving the cake at the party is absolutely fine. The "sticking it in the party bag" tradition is more for large class parties in external venues where it's easier than having 30 children waiting for a cake to be cut up!

Definitely do the snack table as 3 hours is quite long for a 2 year olds party and they will get hungry. Your choices sound lovely!

Also 4-5pm is a common time for small children to have their evening meal so you may have people leave early.

You might want to write a little bit about the party on the invitation to warn the parents. DS goes to a very multicultural school and parents often write what food will be served on the invitation if it will be different to "normal".

Good luck!

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 04/08/2014 11:24

It must be a Yorkshire thing,potted meat poor man's pate lol, beef paste that we were dragged up on in the 70/80's

lljkk · 04/08/2014 11:28

If grownups are to chat for almost 3 hours, are you serving wine?

littlejohnnydory · 04/08/2014 11:29

I'd provide a few savoury nibbles but definitely fine to serve the cake at the party!

PittTheYounger · 04/08/2014 11:33

we do both
eat it and give left overs away

Igggi · 04/08/2014 11:45

Wine and Cake please

Original poster
Haahoooo · 04/08/2014 11:48

Some very good ideas here, thank you. I hadn't thought about wine but it sounds like a good idea to have some and a few beers as well in the fridge.

I'm very much expecting some to arrive late or leave early due to naps and bedtimes. Will do the cake some time between 3 and 4 but have the snacks available throughout perhaps.

Re sitting down eating I don't quite have enough space and chairs for everyone - was thinking picnic blankets in the garden...

OP posts:
Montegomongoose · 04/08/2014 11:49

I think you should do as you would at home; I love going to parties where I learn a bit about other traditions; if anyone doesn't like it, they can take cake home, but I think they'll all be fine with how you do it.

I remember leaping out of my skin at an Irish birthday party where they screamed the devil out of the cake as they cut it...

Jennifersrabbit · 04/08/2014 11:53

Hi

In our generation cake was always served at the party. Now in the bags seems to be more common. I don't get it and I don't think I'm the only one. What's the point of making a nice cake and not serving it up to enjoy?

So if you serve cake at party I think many people will be very pleasantly surprised!

TheHorseHasBolted · 04/08/2014 12:16

I've seen it down both ways but there's definitely no harm in serving it at the party. Also, for those who think 3 hours is too long, it will probably be OK given that parents will also be there and they have the use of the garden. It might be too long for older children who expect party games rather than just free play!

I used to know a lovely mum who always made decorating the cake part of the party activities. After a few games she would bring out the cake plus icing and lots of different kinds of sprinkles, chocolate buttons and other decorations, and everybody got to add something. The cake then reappeared as part of the birthday tea - I think the children would have been disappointed if it hadn't!