To call social services a year and a half after the event?

[paperthinwalls]

We used to live in a small terrace house. As anyone who lives in an old terrace will know they tend to have thin walls. I could hear both side of a phone call nextdoor!
We had the house on the market and under offer when new people moved in to the previously empty house nextdoor. When they moved in we knocked and introduced ourselves but they didn't ever talk to us.

About 2 months after they moved in there was a nasty incident that resulted in police, ambulances and press coverage. The neighbours we the victims in the whole thing, but they were not entirely innocent IYSWIM. The police came to us and took a statement and we told them all we knew.

We moved out about a month later.
My question is this: thinking back they had a little girl, about 2 and the woman of the house was pregnant. At no time did I ever hear the girl. I didn't hear her laugh, cry, play, shout. I never saw her play in the garden. The walls were so thin that I could hear them switching on the lights and going for a wee. I should have been able to hear a 2 year old. I can't believe that in the couple of months we were their neighbours that she didn't ever wake up in the night crying, or call out for her mum in the morning.

Is it worth going to social services about this?

I would have thought with an incident of that scale SS would be involved already.

No.

I know that 'reporting' seems to be the new fashion on here, but really, get a grip of yourself.

I would ring, but just report exactly what you know, don't embellish or exaggerate or anything. That way you've done what you can and it's up to them whether they take it further or not.

What do you want to report? That you didn't hear the child or something happened to the child?

Yes, YABU.

What on Earth are you going to say? That a kid you lived next door to a couple of years ago wasn't loud enough for you to hear.

I hope they laugh at you.

If you had heard her being yelled at, sworn at, hit, or crying all night and being ignored then yes, you should have done something at the time. Likewise if she disappeared or went silent having been seen and heard regularly.

But it would be utterly ridiculous going to SS now, when you have no idea how things are now, because you didn't hear anything -?? What exactly is your concern?

From what I've read and learned on MN if there's a domestic/family situation where the police are involved they have to involve SS by dint of law. If that's the case I'd be very surprised if SS weren't already aware.

If they aren't already involved they really can't do much about someone saying "I didn't hear little DC during the time I lived next door 18 months ago".

But if it's playing on your mind maybe you'd feel happier about just picking up the phone and reporting your concerns? I can't see that it would do any harm to make that call if you feel the need to.

I'm quite happy to be told to get a grip, and yes Sirzy I imagine that SS are already involved.
I never heard her being hit, yelled at etc. But the walls were so very thin that you could hear every word spoken. The house was only one room wide, no corridor or hallways, so every room shared a wall with our property. I just think it is odd that I didn't hear her once over about 4 months.

But as I have said I am happy to be told to get a grip, so I won't bother. I agree, I don't know what I would say, but it does prey on my mind.

(BTW, long time poster but I NCd)

You should always report if you have a concern, always.

If they can't do anything/think your nuts/have a laugh when they put the phone down, that's up to them.

You'll have done your bit and that's all any of us can do.

You should always report if you have a concrete and substantiatable concern, yes.

But ringing them up with hysterical and/or malicious nonsense just for the dramz helps noone - certainly not the child.

Anyone who thinks false SS reports don't cause any harm is a fool.

You can always live next door to me for a bit :o

You'd hear my two all the time.

Given that there literally nothing to report I'd leave it. She may just be quiet

No saucy there is no need to wait for concrete and substantiatable concern. There is an NSPCC campaign highlighting this. It's the 'don't wait until you're certain' campaign if anyone is interested (I can't link).

Telling people they shouldn't report genuine concerns is detrimental and counterproductive.

Malicious or false reports are a completely different issue and not what this thread is about.

I dont see why it would hurt and yet it may really help?

its hard though to understand your op you make it sound like the family were attacked by burglars...sounds odd what has this got to do with it all

its hard though to understand your op you make it sound like the family were attacked by burglars...sounds odd what has this got to do with it all

It was something very like that. I mentioned it because........well I'm not sure really but I guess it shows that there was already some kind of 'authority' involvement and therefore the family would already be known.

We'll just have to agree to disagree that not remembering hearing much noise from a child you lived next door to a couple of years ago is a genuine concern.

FWIW I've been on the receiving end of an anonymous shit-stirring SS report made via the NSPCC (as most of their reports are) and it's something I wouldn't do to my worst enemy. I have about as much respect for them and their "Don't wait until you're certain" campaign as I do for people who let their dogs crap on the pavement.

Yes, I think agree to disagree is best.

To everyone else; don't make false or malicious reports. If you have genuine concern about a child, don't wait until you're certain they're being raped or beaten or starved, often that only comes too late.