We are finally getting married after 9 years so i'm stuck as I do not know

[ifyourhappydance]

if I will pull my finger out again and arrange it all this time, I mean we have tried to do this so many times and I give up halfway as I can not make a decision and I say lets forget it.

We have two kids together a new house and I want my Dad to give me away even though we live together, he is in his late 70's so a big deal for me.

I was thinking a registry office in Hampshire or Winchester and then we will be going on a family cruise within a day or so with the the kids so any ideas please or I will not be getting married as Im so indecisive

I just do not know what to do , it will be next year towards Christmas
that helps. we are not formal and hate routine we are go with the flow but still want something special without spending thousands.

I've been to a wedding at Winchester Register Office. It was rather nice there.

If you're not sure what to do about it, that suggests you don't have particularly big dreams about what your "big day" will be - you know you want your father there. You could book the register office and then go to a hall or hotel after and have a nice meal. Or going the getting married bit at the register office, go for the cruise, and have a big party when you get back.

Yes I thought about the getting married part in Winchester I was born their its just where to go after with family.

And is it worth wearing a wedding dress I will be 41 so no spring chicken anymore boo hoo.

My dad is in his late 70's and I would have my wedding much sooner than Dec 15 particularly if I want him to give me away.

My brother had a 4pm ceremony and then a buffet reception afterwards. He invited everyone to both parts and it was very relaxed an informal with everybody enjoying the party. The cost of catering was drastically reduced by just having one evening buffet. Lots of good mid week reception deals around at the moment.

Get a dress have a winter theme so you dont have to show arms or cleavage if you dont want 41 isnt old though the regestry office sounds lovely and go for a meal afterwards dad can give you away you are married job done

We were like you - had been together for 10 years - engaged for most of those and kept saying 'this year we will do it' but then got bogged down with who to invite/where to do it/the expense etc.

Then in December 2012 we finally did it (spurred on my parents not getting any younger) at the end of December (the last available booking before Christmas). We booked Romsey Registry Office in Hampshire (it used to be in a nice old building but I think it might have moved now), I wore purple and we had just my mum and dad and my husband's sister and niece there. Afterwards we had a lovely lunch at a gastro pub down the road (nice atmosphere as people around us were having their Christmas parties), then we booked into a hotel in Bournemouth for the night that overlooked the sea and wandered around the Christmas market in the evening - we were back home the next day ready to celebrate Christmas.

Neither of us are showy people and as it was minimal fuss we had a totally relaxed day with no stress or nerves involved!

Nothing in our relationship has changed as a result although we do feel more secure legally as things are far more complex to sort out if something happens to a partner if one isn't married (not something I agree with, but it's a fact)

Good luck with whatever you decide :-)

If you are particularly indecisive I suggest you book and marry quick.

I spent a while year tearing my hair out over it. Cancelled the lot

Booked and wed in 6 weeks in the end. Snap descions and a 'I'm gonna love my day no matter what' approach sorted me right out

We did that booked and married within 12 weeks you have no time to dither really

6 weeks is impressive though

Could you get married on the cruise? Save the extra hassle of organising a wedding and a holiday!

We booked and married at our registry office in 2 weeks - the minimum amount of time possible. I had a lovely dress from debenhams, which I have worn again a couple of times since. We invited both sets of parents, siblings, my grandmothers and then some friends. The max amount of people we could have, inc ourselves and the registrars was 30.

We were already going out that evening (planned way in advance) so popped next door to the hotel for tea/coffee and a small sandwich buffet. My mum and dad paid and arranged this. There is no reason why you couldn't go to a nearby restaurant/pub for a meal after.

As you say you are quite indecisive, ring up the registry office and ask when the next available date for a wedding would be - they may or may not be busy depending on the time of year. Book the nearest one possible and just do it. It really doesn't not have to be a stressful and showy affair.

I loved every moment of our special day. It was just what i wanted (granted dh would rather have eloped and just had us and dc) and I don't regret not having a bigger affair. It just wasn't us.

Do you have any friends who'd love to organise this sort of thing?

I'm just not bothered about weddings and two of my friends have offered to organise mine, if I ever get married. They loved planning theirs and were a bit bereft when it was over.

Keep it simple. First I would book the registry office then you have a time scale to work to. I wouldn't bother with bridesmaid, you only need a best man really. Hire a suit for those who want - if you want suits. If daughters get them some pretty dresses you can perhaps use as party dresses as well later on. Just get yourself a bouquet and some buttons holes for the men. Afterwards hire a room and do a buffet with band or disco

IfYourHappyDance I was 52 when I married for the second time and I wore a wedding dress - not a big, white, flouncy one though, just a nice one that could be worn again. Age is a just number, remember.