*drumroll* I have a super soaker AIBU for you

[supersoakershouter]

End of term last week and there was a class beach party (we live on the coast). Me and DS arrived and the kids already there had a variety of water-shooting devices which they were firing at one another, including a couple of super soakers. Tacit rule seemed to be to soak one another (they're all in swimwear) but not the adults who were sitting outside one parent's beach hut, fully clothed, drinking tea.

DS then decided to go to play in the sea with his body board which was quite a distance off so I moved to sit on the edge of the prom in front of the beach hut, finishing my tea before I jumped down onto the beach to follow him (I couldn't see him properly from the deckchair).

As I sat there, one boy fired his super soaker at my back. His mum said 'darling, don't fire your gun at the mums' and he laughed and did it again. I turned and made a cross face at him and he did it again. I was then absolutely drenched front and back. So I shouted at him, really loudly.

His mum said nothing apart from the first 'darling ...' which he just ignored. I did shout a bit too loudly but the water was freezing and I really, really didn't want him to do it again.

The kid looked shocked but stopped. I apologised to his mum for shouting and explained that the water was really cold and it was a shock and she didn't really respond. Since then, I've texted to apologise again for shouting but she's not replied. Was IBU? Am I going to be a social pariah when school starts again?

Not weak Pitt, just in control, which I might not have been in Elephants situation.

Awful. What was the mother thinking?

I want you to go and find him. And shout swearily

Here's the link to the best super soaker thread ever: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/569630-super-soaker-etiquette-at-parties

I think I texted her because I told a friend about it earlier this week and she's one of those people who doesn't like other people shouting at her children and she suggested I text. I won't text her again but when I didn't get a reply, I thought that I should check more widely that I hadn't behaved completely outrageously

YWDNBU.

I have done the same when picking up the kids from nursery - they were all throwing cups of water at each other, and the nursery staff (3-5 yrs old). One came up to me, and got (before water being thrown) "Do NOT throw that at me". I stayed dry.I got comments that the staff were surprised it had worked??!! The little boy still comes to give me a cuddle every time he sees me.

Super Soaker thread

You were the one that got soaked, so you had a right to do the shouting. If have shouted at my own ds if he did that to me, and would certainly have spoken fairly sternly to somebody else's child that did that to me.

Okay, so you lost your temper a bit, which isn't great, but is only natural, and you have a right to be human!

Actually, I think it would have been worse for the child if you had been all calm and said politely that it didn't matter. It is only fair to him to make sure he knows people do mind being soaked, so that he won't do it again. It takes a community to raise a child and all that...

What a little shit he was, hopefully you scared him enough because his mother certain failed in teaching him how to respect people. If he continues one day he might cross paths with the wrong person.

YANBU at all

If I was the mother it would have been confiscated the first time he did it.

Seems like he got fair warning and it was deliberate rather than an accident so no, you are not being unreasonable. The child's mother however, is being unreasonable for not telling him off immediately.

YWNBU. He knew not to do it; he did it. He was told by his mother not to do it; he did it again. You glared at him so he knew you were not finding it amusing; he did it again.

What did he honestly expect your reaction to be, after the first warning from his mother, and your second death glare? I definitely wouldn't apologise again, and I'd be secretly tempted to withdraw the text apology on account of your 'shock' at the time.

It's fine what you did, I'd have done the same. But not apologised. The other mum might just be really bad at knowing how to respond to interpersonal stuff like that. Or just gone on holiday and forgotten about it.

Interesting.
I don't think you were bu.

I was at a friends recently so DC could use paddling pool together. Getting ready to leave and I had taken off DS's (1) sodden swim nappy. Her DD (5) grabbed it, ran away with it, and threw it at us. It hit me in the face and dislodged my contact. Hurt like a bitch. Her mum was inside at the time and I shouted her (DD's) name at the top of my lungs. Was instinctive reaction. I've felt guilty ever since but also still a wee bit annoyed because had the nappy hit DS, it would have really hurt him.

How old was this boy?

Yanbu to get cross. I understand of you feel bad about shouting and if he was lttle over excited kid, but really, he had been told and needs to learn the consequences of not listening to a clear instruction.

Apologising once was socially appropriate, but I don't think you should feel bad.

I don't get this "nobody can shout at my child doing wrong, especially in my presence" attitude in general and on mn in particular.

I wouldn't have apologised. There's no way anybody should expect an apology if their child soaked another adult by shooting a super soaker at them 3 times after being told not to by their mum the first time and having a look after the second.
In fact both him and his mum should have apologised there and then.

Hopefully she's not replied because she's totally mortified if not she's not worth a second thought.

Actually, she should have apologised to you, and/ or got him to apologise. Did she do neither of these things?

If not, really really don't worry

YWNBU

You had absolutely nothing to apologise to Drippy Mother and Little Shit for.

I might have apologised to the mum like you did, but wouldn't hav texted as well.

And yes, I probably would have gone shouty crackers.

IDon'tDoIroning

I agree. I'd hate to think that if my DCs were up to no good, another adult would not step in to tell them off. DS2was involved in agame of Knock Down Ginger last year. Imwas ally gld when I found out that a woman had come out and really had a go at him and his friends. He assures me it was his first time, and he'd notmactually knocked, but her shouting, along with me explaining why it is a cruel game, hopefully acted as a deterent.

I was really glad

"How old was this boy?"
It doesn't matter. His mother should have intervened after the first time, definitely after the second time and been mortified and apologetic after the third time. Of course you shouted at the child, you were bloody soaked with cold water and he might at least think twice next time. The only thing you could possibly have also done would be to speak to her.

Lol, YANBU. I would have shouted too. He was warned and he did it again. That's really naughty. To do it once could have just been thoughtlessness but to due it twice more is just shitty.

I wouldn't have apologised to the Mum but I wouldn't worry about it either.

I asked how old, not because I think the mother should not aplogise, but because I might be likely to feel worse about yelling at a 4 year old than a 7 year old.

^^ that was to PekingDuck