to have had a go at this woman for telling her child my dog was going to bite her?

[wannaBe]

so, I get out of a lift with my guide dog, only to encounter a woman some ten feet away disciplining a child of about three.

Child was mildly whinging over something, almost as soon as she must have seen me the woman said to her dd: "if you don't stop that now that dog is going to bite you.

Now, I am usually fairly impatient with ignorant members of the public who ask whether the dog can cook/cleans the house (ha ha I wish)/assumes that the dog knows when to cross the road and so on, and will explain patiently how the dog is/isn't trained and what he can/cannot do.

On this occasion however I think the woman's idiocy knew no bounds, so I very calmly, but assertively said to her, in front of her still whinging child, "please don't tell her that. Telling a child that she is going to be bitten by a guide dog is not helpful when your child starts screaming at the prospect of being bitten when potentially coming face to face with my dog in a shop/restaurant/place where he is allowed to be due to the fact he is a guide dog." She replied "well I thought it would make her behave." to which I'm afraid I responded "well that's really not my problem."

I will point out that I never raised my voice to the stupid woman once. But that she was a first class idiot. And no, I don't care if she was at the end of her tether, that's up there with "the policeman will arrest you if you don't behave" and "if you run off you'll be taken by a bad man."

[MsAnthropic]

thecatfromjapan I'd have said it to make the mother think twice about non-consensually co-opting 3rd parties and making dishonest attributions to them. It's just such an exceptionally rude thing to do to a passer by who is just going about their business. Do you not see how unpleasant it could be for the nominated 'bogeyman'?

The thing about threats that 'someone else' will do XYZ is that it's totally undermining to the parent's authority because the message it sends is that the child only needs to behave in a certain way because they might get into trouble from someone else, not because the parent is in charge. Invariably, the threat never eventuates which further dilutes the parent's credibility and authority.

It also teaches them nothing about what they're doing wrong so how can they learn and develop internal motivation and values.

Oh and I am far from a perfect parent and am guilty of lazy parenting at times. I just feel very strongly about this issue.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I apologise, thecatfromjapan - I didn't realise that you know the OP's mind and motivations better than she does herself.

[HavanaSlife]

Im at the end of my tether with 3 yo ds3 regularly, I dont threaten him with dogs, bad men, thr police etc bevause I think the only thing to be gained by saying such bollocks would be him possibly developing a fear of dogs, police, bad men etc

And that would be another thing for him to create about loudly in the street

[Gruntfuttock]

Exactly, HavanaSlife. Just do your best with the aid of duct tape and a staplegun.

[Catsmamma]

we puppy walk and dh had this in tesco with a 3 month old pup, yes a 3 month old black lab puppy.

...some idiot (yes, so flame me) says to her rampaging child "get away from THAT DOG before it bites you"

Cannot believe that some people think the OP is being unreasonable. Hope you are all happy to be held up as the Force of Good next time someone involves you in their shitey parenting.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Superglue works too, Gruntfuttock.

[hackmum]

Telling a child that a dog is going to bite it is a horrible threat to make. It's worse, in my view, than saying, "the policeman will tell you off" (though that isn't very nice either). It's parenting by fear.

It's also horrible to co-opt an unwilling third party into the threat. It's particularly nasty given that the OP is blind/visually impaired - guide dogs are the last dogs that are going to bite anyone, and people who use guide dogs really don't want children to be frightened of them.

Can't remotely understand why anyone is criticising the OP.

[fluffymouse]

Yanbu at all op.

Demonisation of dogs is unacceptable.

The fact that your dog is a well trained guide dog, whose services you require, makes it even more insensitive.

[Egghead68]

Absolutely YANBU.

[differentnameforthis]

I would say that you saw a snap shot of her life & you have NO idea what drove her to say that!

It wasn't the greatest thing to say, but at the end of the day, perhaps she was at the end of her tether?

[MostWicked]

The woman didn't actually believe the dog would bite the child; she was using a threat to discipline the child. That was not your business and you were oversensitive.

Of course it's her business. The mother had used her guide dog as a threat. The OP wanted to reassure the child that her dog was no threat. I know the mum didn't think the dog would bite, but the girl did, and the mum had no right to use someone else's guide dog as a threat.

How would you feel if a mother said to her child 'come here, that woman (pointing to you) is going to kidnap you'. Would you not feel somewhat offended and wish to correct the allegation?

I don't care how at the end of your tether you are, You have no right to use other people as a threat.
It is lazy, ineffective and horrible parenting, to threaten your children. There was a woman at Nursery, who used to say to her son "I've told you, stop running off or I will sell you to the Gypsies"
Not only an unfair and cruel thing to say to a child, but an unfair thing to say about Gypsies.

[NewtRipley]

Differentnameforthis

The OP might have seen a snapshot, but affected her directly, the woman was saying something about her guide dog.

As for her being at the end of her tether. Maybe, or maybe she knows no better and will think again before using useless and possibly damaging disciplinary strategies.

[HilariousInHindsight]

I'm with you here.

My partner has a guide dog too and it's ridiculous what some people will say. Mind you I'd probably prefer that than the people who don't stop their kids feeding the dog or actually feed the dog themselves.

I've also been in public where a child is misbehaving and said parent has said something along the lines of 'that woman is going to think you're a bad little girl' or something to that affect. Now I'm sure they were being naughty but I don't know why I had to be brought into it. Surely a punishment/talking to should be about the parents or am I missing something?

Sometime it's not worth engaging though.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

I'm just still absolutely creased someone would use it as a threat. It's a new one on me!

[ilovesooty]

thecatfromjapan perhaps the issue doesn't matter to you but it does to the OP. On that basis I think your comments are patronising at best.