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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this request by Mother of the Bride a bit rude?

68 replies

Vintagejazz · 01/08/2014 15:08

My cousin is getting married in Fiji later this year. Naturally it's too far and expensive for most of the relatives to attend but my sister and her husband will be there to represent our family and some other cousins will be attending.

My sister and brother in law will not be able to afford a separate holiday as well but will be staying on in Fiji for ten days after the wedding as will some of the cousins and a few friends of the B&G. They have got a special deal from the hotel.

However my aunt, the mother of the bride, has now contacted those intending to stay and told them that she feels it's unfair of guests to stay in the same hotel and location as the B&G as they are entitled to some privacy and peace on their honeymoon. She has requested that all those intending to stay on in Fiji move to another location on the Island and book into a different hotel.

Apart from the extra cost and inconvenience, surely if you expect people to fly all the way to Fiji for your wedding you would also expect that most of the guests will combine it with a holiday as it's such an expensive trip?

AIBU to think that if the B&G want a private and peaceful honeymoon they should get married at home and then fly to Fiji? (Not that I have any reason to believe this request has come from the couple themselves).

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 01/08/2014 18:43

I'd just ignore the email, they are obviously batty and are utterly convinced everyone wants to see the honeymoon in the making.

Mr and Mrs Twatzilla and the batty mum can fuck right off.

TidyDancer · 01/08/2014 18:47

It is not acceptable no matter who it's coming from.

None of the wedding party have a right to dictate where their guests stay and how long they're there for. If they don't want to spend time with them, they don't have to. But they can't specify where they can stay.

WeAreEternal · 01/08/2014 18:58

I would reply with something along the lines of

"thank you for the suggestion but we will not be moving hotels, we will however be more than happy to ignore the B&G and pretend we do not know them if we happen to pass them by the pool at any point after the wedding if that helps."

fluffyraggies · 01/08/2014 19:04

Good lord i've heard it all now!

This wedding business is getting ridiculous.
Give us money, and don't buy us that.
Wear this, and don't wear that.
Come to this bit, but not to that.
Bring these people with you but not those.
Buy us an engagement gift, spend a fortune on the hen/stag do.
And now? ...
Follow us half way round the world to see us married, but bugger off far enough away afterwards please as we need some peace. !?

Hmm
Picklepest · 01/08/2014 19:51

This is what I never got about weddings abroad. The guests and god forbid your family are staying there after with you. Fuck that. Love you dearly but the HONEYMOON...?! Naff off

NewtRipley · 01/08/2014 20:10

Bourdin

Indeed

And long long ago, the bride and groom had a night out at the pub, or a disco with their mates. This was known as a hen or stag night

NewtRipley · 01/08/2014 20:12

Sorry, Bourdic

Vintagejazz · 01/08/2014 20:20

Thanks for the replies. My sis has replied saying that unfortunately the hotel has now been booked and a deposit paid but she will obviously respect the B&G's wish for privacy as she and DH are also anxious to enjoy their annual holiday in their own way and to have some time alone.

All she could do really.

OP posts:
NewtRipley · 01/08/2014 20:23

That was a good diplomatic reply.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 01/08/2014 20:24

That was a really polite and dignified reply in comparison to what I imagine they are thinking.

Summerblaze · 01/08/2014 21:18

I think the mother is pissed off that she is going home and everyone else is staying so she wont be able to nosey whats going in and people will be having fun without her.

MissBattleaxe · 01/08/2014 21:33

YY to Bourdic- those were the days eh? Now its all manor houses in the middle of nowhere, cash as a present (but it's funny cos it rhymes), no kids, and the emotional blackmail of expensive hen and stag dos to prove you love the bride and groom enough to go bankrupt before handing over even more cash on the day. And that's just UK weddings.

Jux · 01/08/2014 22:08

Oh I'd be sooooo tempted to send a letter to the mother of the bride saying that you have found that you can accept her invitation to the wedding of her daughter after all, you will arrive the day before, and you're sure that you'll all have a brilliant time together for the following 2 weeks....

sashh · 02/08/2014 01:57

If I was going to get married somewhere like that I would expect people to stay and know it would probably be their only holiday.

borisgudanov · 02/08/2014 02:24

She is clearly not leaving the day after because she's on so much glue she won't be able to move.

I'd ignore her completely, such bonkersness doesn't need to be dignified with a reply and "fuck off" might be considered a tad impolite. She can stick it up her arse, though.

Delphiniumsblue · 02/08/2014 07:34

I was going to say 'smile, nod, ignore' but she made a sensible response.
If you don't want your guests on honeymoon with you then don't invite them in the first place!

Delphiniumsblue · 02/08/2014 07:35

Sorry- I meant to say don't invite them to go half way across the world with you in the first place and then expect them to get lost!

ChasedByBees · 02/08/2014 08:21

God that is so bloody rude. Tough, regardless of who the idea has come from. It is outrageous, they should be really grateful people have gone to such effort for them.

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