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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in getting ready for holiday??

43 replies

CocktailQueen · 01/08/2014 09:08

DH is looking after the dc the day before we leave for holiday next week. I will be packing everything apart from his clothes - we're going self catering so I will print out all accommodation and trips we have booked etc, organise maps, food for journey, have booked hotel on the way, looked at best route to take, things to do.

I have bought things like insect repellent, travel sickness bands. He asked me today, was it ok if he took the dc to next Thursday while I pack.

WIBU to say no, that I want to go too, and I'd prefer he actually did his share of the packing instead of playing with the dc while I do it all? DC are 7 and 10, so not babies.

It's always the same with holidays. I do all the planning. I ask someone to feed fish and water plants, do online shop, etc etc. Am getting a bit fed up of it.

Said this to dh today and he got stroppy/defensive.

OP posts:

Scrumbled · 02/08/2014 00:19

YANBU

Oh yes I'd love to go there too, let's go on xxx together. Then this list here, well we can share that 50 / 50. It wouldn't really be 50/50 because all the planning would take place outside of that day but may give a glimpse.

If they were toddlers I could just about see it as a reasonable excuse to avoid holiday work. At 7 & 10 he could at least use his time to teach his children about what holiday toys they could take, get them to help clean the car, take them both to the supermarket to pick up fresh bread etc

Oriunda · 02/08/2014 08:09

We travel a lot so our cases are usually out waiting for the next trip. I pack mine and DS' and DH always packs his own. He travels a lot for work though so he knows what to take. We always keep a plastic bag each filled with travel sized toiletries ready for security. After each trip cases get emptied, stuff washed and I start filling them up with stuff ready for the next trip. We're off again in 2 weeks and DS' bag is already half full with beach stuff and his snacks. Find this system a lit easier than packing the night before!

Oriunda · 02/08/2014 08:12

Btw in your case I would pack your stuff now, get the children to help pack theirs then enjoy the day before relaxing whilst your DH takes the children out!

Oriunda · 02/08/2014 08:13

Btw in your case I would pack your stuff now, get the children to help pack theirs then enjoy the day before relaxing whilst your DH takes the children out!

Montegomongoose · 02/08/2014 08:22

Surely all the printing out etc can be done in an evening? Can't you do as pp suggested and break it into smaller chunks to do in the run up?

People get organised to go on holiday without needing a whole day, what about working mothers? I never had that luxury, I just fitted holiday prep into evenings and weekends and I don't remember leaving anything or anyone behind!

I think it's sweet of him to offer to take them out. It's what my dad would have done while my mother sweated over boxes and shouted at everyone!

combust22 · 02/08/2014 08:27

I'd leave him to do the paperwork and do the packing myself.

Having your OH take the kids out while you pack sounds great. No way would I want Oh to pack.

combust22 · 02/08/2014 08:38

But then I love packing- it's like holiday foreplay!

Pu on a scented candle, pump up Bach's Brandenberg concertos ( for an ordered optimistic mindset) and check out ideas here:

silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/what-to-pack-for-a-family-beach-holiday

Enjoy!

steppemum · 02/08/2014 09:19

I pack mine
dh packs his
I make kids put their selection out on the bed, then check it with them to see they have what they need. they put it in their bag (after massive row over who has which bag)
dcs are 11, 9 and 6. Even the 6 year old can do a good job of getting her stuff out (with reminders like, have you got your knickers/swimming costume)

I sort games/activities/food
he sorts travel documents/ferry bookings car.

The day before holiday is joint manicness. I would not be impressed if he left me to do it all.

Fluffyears · 02/08/2014 09:51

I pack mind do packs his. I'd oval all but his and up to him to get sorted. He is a grown man if he forgets stuff that's his problem. We do the toiletries during shopping in the few weeks leading up to trip.

Fluffyears · 02/08/2014 09:51

Gah stupid phone but you get the gist!!

Igggi · 02/08/2014 12:20

Have only read one page but it is depressing in how many (ie all) cases it is the woman who packs for her and the dc, while the man just does for himself. This is an improvement from the past when the man wouldn't even have done that!
But what a tiny improvement :(
I had a massive list of things to do for our last holiday (entirely researched, planned and booked by me) and dh finally offered to do some of them. I was really surprised when they were done successfully, and on time! So next holiday, he will be getting a bigger list.

combust22 · 02/08/2014 15:19

"Have only read one page but it is depressing in how many (ie all) cases it is the woman who packs for her and the dc, while the man just does for himself. "-

Why is that depressing? My OH wouldn't know what to pack. He works such long hours and doen't get to spend much time with the kids- but I do.
I am the one tha tknows which as my son's comfiest sandals for walking in, which of my DDs cuddly toys she prefers, which sunglasses she likes to wear with her bear socks. If he packed he packed he wouldn't know all that.

I don't see it as depressing.

Montegomongoose · 02/08/2014 19:22

My DH could easily pack for the DC. I could easily check to tyres, fill the car, organise the top box out of the shed etc.

I don't think there's anything depressing about pulling together and playing to one's strengths.

Igggi · 02/08/2014 19:37

It is depressing because you can bet your bottom dollar not all the dps on this thread "work long hours" and in cases where both work full-time outside the home it is still the woman doing the packing most of the time.

Dieu · 02/08/2014 19:45

Won't you all have fun family days together when you go on holiday next week? If he's taking the kids out for a treat day while you pack, then I'm not sure I see the big deal.

greenfolder · 02/08/2014 20:45

the most fun thing is when you actually stop packing for everyone. for one year it really amusing- dd1, you only have the pants you are wearing? dd2 - you only have the ugg boots you wore to the airport?

after that they genuinely understand that your days as organiser of 6 people are over.

Dieu · 02/08/2014 20:56

I couldn't be bothered with the ensuing hassle and discomfort just to prove a point! To each her own though :o)

cerealqueen · 02/08/2014 21:03

YANBU. I do all the prep, packing for me and Dc and DP packs for himself. Even them he doesn't pack for himself properly and will bring one pair of jeans for a week so we have to buy him new jeans while on holiday.

Then, he'll come to me and say, shall I get the DC in the car (he drives, I don't) while I'm still in my pyjamas after organising the whole morning. He won't have even noticed. AGGHHHH. Then we get in the car and he'll say, I'm not sure where we are going. Do you have the address?

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