Wibu to upsticks?

[Veryreasonable]

I've n/c as I may be identifiable from this and other things.

The situation I'm in right now is one where I'm not very happy. I'm fed up and feel stuck in a rut.

I'm a single parent, I'm now renting a HA property and I live in a massive city which I've grown to hate. The bit where I am living is not too bad though, and I really like the house I rent. My little boy is settled into a nice school and doing well and I've got a very flexible job. And all my family live nearby.

The problem is, even though my job is flexible and fairly well paid, I'm sick of it, there have been various restructures and I'm not happy there atm. I also don't get on great with my family and lately it's getting to me more and more, I won't go into it too much but it's all very deep rooted and dysfunctional.

My long term boyfriend lives around an hours drive away in a small town. I've spent a lot of time there and I really like it. It's a much more family friendly place and everything's on your doorstep, no getting stuck in hours of traffic just to go shopping, lots of nice things to do for young families, a very quiet picturesque place.

Basically I've been offered a house swap and I'm really torn over what to do.

I think that it would be a nicer place for ds to grow up, but it would be such a big step, he'd have to change schools, I'd have to get a new job. I wouldn't have my family closeby.

Then my boyfriend comes into it, I'd hope that he'd move in with me, as one of the reasons he hasn't already is his commute to work. But I wouldn't want to move just for him iyswim.

This place just has so many bad memories for me and I think it could be a fresh start. Or it could be a big mistake.

YANBU to go for a better life. You only get one shot at it and DCs are flexible if you sell it right. Definitely make this something you do for yourself and then consider whether your boyfriend will fit into the picture, rather than moving to be with him and risk disappointment.

If I've learned one thing it's that it's not the mistakes you make that you end up regretting, it's the opportunities you passed up. Good luck

Just to add, my boyfriend isn't renowned for his reliability. So I would have to be doing it for ds and myself. Although the commute has been an issue for him with work.

I think that the place would be more peaceful, here it seems to be all pollution, traffic and filthy streets. I think that it would feel safer for ds as he got older and ventured out more on his own.

I'd have to find a new job as I wouldn't want to keep up the commute.

Has anyone done anything like this and has it worked out for the best? Or gone wrong.

Have you had a look to see if there's any work in the new town?

If there was plenty of work to be had, and you'd want to move there regardless of whether your DP was in the picture, I'd do it if I were in your shoes.

I'd say go for it, OP, for you and your son. If things work out with your boyfriend, but if not, you'll be living in what sounds like a much better environment for both of you.

I moved from a big-ish town to London, but that was to be with OH, which I know is the other way round, but it worked out well for us - I think if your heart's in it, you've got a head start in making a success of it.

Good luck.

I would say go for it, but for you and ds, if dp isn't reliable. If things work out between you, even better. If not, well you're in a better area. A new start in a nice new area could do you the world of good OP.

Go for it

Many years ago I moved a long way from friends and family to start fresh, take advantage of a job offer and build a new life and better prospects. It has had its disadvantages, especially now that my parents are elderly and the only thing I regret is that I let my then boyfriend follow along!