Not to know where to start!

[Absofrigginlootly]

Sorry to post here rather than pregnancy threads....but most people on there seem to be first time mums too so I wanted the advice of veteran mums! (Plus also seems to be much more traffic on here). Also sorry if there are any threads about this on MN already, but I couldn't find any.....

I am now in my third trimester for our first baby.... Up until now I have been rather in denial that the baby will actually arrive....and to a large extent I still am (we've had a long and difficult road to get to this point - don't want to go into details, but it has caused me to hold-back a lot with this pregnancy and not believe that it's actually going to happen and we are really going to be blessed with our precious, much longed-for baby). Hard to kick that feeling. But anyway, DH is saying that we really shouldn't put off buying baby stuff any longer (we, well I, haven't bought a thing, I've not wanted to 'tempt fate'...and to be honest I haven't even thought that far ahead as I'm still in the 'must try and stay preganant' mindset....)

As a consequence I don't even know where to start when it comes to knowing what we will need!!

I know we will need the basics.... Pram, bedside cot/Moses basket and 'big' cot, and babygrows, nappies etc. But I feel so overwhelmed with the choice and the product reviews on MN have just left me feeling more confused!!
Our baby is due in October....so I guess we will need long sleeved baby grows....but what about blankets or sheets??or a grow bag?
What about a sling?
I'm hoping to exclusively breastfeed (no expressing) so wasn't going to bother buying sterlising equip/bottles etc. But what do I need for breastfeeding....nursing pads, one of those cushions?
I am planning on having the baby next to me in a bedside crib (friend recommended the nct bednest) for the first 6 months, then putting them in their 'big' cot in the nursery in the next room. So I guess I'll need a monitor??

Arrrrgggghhhh I feel stressed when I think about how much we have to buy/do in the next 12 weeks (that it makes me feel like avoiding it for longer!) and I don't know where to start!!!!!!

Help me please!!!

Many people use the 0+ seats initially as you can get them all strapped in and blanket tucked round them in the house, then carry them to the car. Plus most from birth pushchairs have adapters on so that you can use the carseat on the pushchai frame (handy if you want to run into a shop quick and baby has gone to sleep in the car seat). Also handy when you get lo home if theyve gone to sleep in the car and youve got shopping to put away - carry them in, in the carseat without disturbing them.

Oh and never feel like an idiot for asking! Its normal to ask 100's of questions by the third trimester, after all its a totally new experience.

Watching this thread with interest. I am due my first in Oct too and people are so full of advice for bits of kit they couldn't live without and I'm baffled with some of it.

Op, I've had that same dilemma about car seats too.

I have no idea yet what I want to do about feeding or when I need to decide so I haven't bought anything on that score.

We also haven't decided what to do about cots etc yet either.

But she has a very extensive wardrobe already!

DONT FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT!! You are entitled to feel like this and to be able to give such advice at such a special time is lovely for us mums! I agree with all the PP. You really don't need much at all and hopefully will get bought as presents or offered second hand stuff. The only thing I bought new was some new born vests, babygrows and nappy/wipes and toiletries for both of us....all the rest was loaned/gifted. Only the moses basket was new and has now been used for 15 babies!! I agree that stuff is so easy to get nowadays in supermarkets/internet so don't panic. I agree that you might like to have some backup bottles and milk...even my ebf babies had an occasional bottle. Not ebf then but you know what I mean!! Obviously a car seat is a must and agree you should buy the best you can afford. The raincovers are good but if you don't plan on carrying carseat around then maybe not...but it seems popular to do this instead of setting up pram everytime...sleeping baby not disturbed and if you need to put them down you have somewhere to put them. I am wishing you all the best and am quite envious...I sooo remember shopping for my 1st and it was magical...I wouldn't be surprized if once you start you won't be able to resist all those little outfits...All mine grown now but I still pop into Mothercare and TKMax for a browse...oohing and aaahing...enjoy this time...XX

Mrsnec...you don't have to decide yet....I would suggest buying a pack of small bottles and a cheap sterilizer...if not used then not much money lost...but having a back up made me feel less stressed. Even winter babies might need a drink of water. Oh ladies ENJOY this time...I even took a photo of my washing line the 1st time I hung up all the small vests and babygrows!! I promise I'm not mad...just never believed I actually got there in the end after wanting a baby all my life. x

mrsnec we were brought a sterliser, one small bottle and a carton of the readymade formula, by a friend. I will make sure i have the same in for the next one too.

It got used late on a sunday night, when i was at the end of my tether with bf. It helped to be able o give one formula feed (lo had been on the breast for the best part of 6hrs - just a couple of few minute breaks). I was back to breast after that ff but it just helped me keep my sanity.

Thanks, I will consider that. I had an offer of a free steriliser but I turned it down when another friend told me not to bother and that I can make do with the kettle and the microwave that was a bit silly of me on reflection! Especially since they're not pro bf where I live and I'm likely to be having a c section.

I'm definitely going to get some ready made stuff although my niece did that and is still using only that! So will try not to get lazy!

Marylou that just made me a little bit emotional. In a good way.

Just to say, I wanted to bf but physically couldn't (yes, honestly, nothing came out, supportive midwives advised me to give up) so get some bottles in just in case because no-one, not a soul, will give you any clue when it comes to ff. I was just sinking and ds had jaundice and I didn't know where to start.

I did the cold water sterilising, and if you are unlucky and can't bf or if circumstances change, I really recommend this but I hope you'll be fine.

Good luck!

puntasticusername: Even though you're planning to breastfeed, do at the very least consider getting a couple of those little bottles of formula with the teat already attached

I'm not sure I've ever seen these....are they widely available?? I've seen cartons of ready-made formula....but not with teats attached. Are the teats sterilised and ready to use?

What do people think about sheets vs grow bags for newborns??
Also, in October do you think I'll need to buy one of those fluffy/thick onesies that act as a coat for a newborn? (dunno what they're called...do you know what I mean?!)

Posted too soon!

....or is it better to layer the baby in lots of sheets and blankets which can be easily removed when out and about???

My impression is that the guidelines are to avoid anything that could cover the baby's mouth and might cause problems breathing so I prefer grow bags overnight. For the buggy there are lovely winter sacks that work well.

Absofrigginglootly yep, took a bit of finding online but I did it! Something like this: www.mothercare.com/SMA-First-Starter-Pack---6-x-100ml/808930,default,pd.html

In answer to your other questions - I'd favour gro bags every time, personally, though check the lower weight limit - I believe they now recommend babies must be at least 10lb before going into one, so you may wish to use sheets and cellular blankets (best thing to avoid overheating) to begin with.

I think you mean a snowsuit - yes, get a nice furry one, they're cute! They're only necessary when it's really cold but they are very handy to avoid draughts, and faffing with getting baby tucked into its blankets etc.

Please don't feel like an idiot. I remember finally admitting that the baby would arrive and bursting into tears in Toys R Us because I had no clue what to buy. DH was great at calming me down.

For the first week, my essentials are:

• nappies
• nappy sacks
• cotton wool and small bowl for water (we avoided wipes for a few weeks)
• Between 5-10 muslin cloths
• towel
• nursing bras
• breast pads
• tube of Lansinoh
• sleepsuits in newborn and 0-3 size
• cardigans
• pram suit
• hat
• Moses basket
• sleeping bag(s) / cellular blanket
• Car seat
• Pram

A little later:

• bouncy chair/swing chair
• baby bath
• wider variety of clothes
• sling (try to find local sling meet to try a few - my baby hated them all as he dislikes feeling restricted)
• books / toys

Jenny...what a good list...forgot about the muslins...and the cardis.....and the nursing bra! Still don't panic though as nearly all of this can be bought in Mothercare or similar in one short shop!! I would go so far as to print this out and give the list to the assistant and sit back and let them bring it to you!! Better still, I will come with you!!

Oh thank you all!!! Especially those of you who have gone to the trouble of finding and attaching links, much appreciated ....I think DH and I may venture out this weekend to the nearest pram shop for a browse...and I like the idea of booking a session somewhere like John Lewis to go though their nursery stuff - I didn't know you could do that!

I'm going to get my pad out and make notes/a list from this thread...along with the fab spreadsheet betold sent me!

jenny that list is great! thank you......but what's a 'pram suit' ??

I also had a very long and bumpy road to get pregnant and couldn't even think about buying anything baby related too early. At about 36 weeks we brought the bare minimum to go in our hospital bag (nappies, pack of 0-3 babygros and a nighty for me) and intended to buy our 'big' items when I was 37 weeks (not least because I was pregnant last Christmas and thought we might get a bargain in the sales !)

However, nature had other plans and so when our baby arrived bang on 37 weeks we literally had nothing ! (except for a nighty I didn't have time to get out of the bag and some babygros which were massive !!) A car seat and pram (which included a carricot which DS slept in until we got a cot) were bought over the phone from the delivery suite ....... !! (Although we had previously researched the items and so knew which ones we wanted).

Honestly, it was fine. You really do need the bare minimum over the first few days. 24 hour supermarkets have all the 'essentials' and amazon deliver the next day ! I'd recommend to anyone that they buy the bulk of their stuff when the baby arrives - you will have a much better idea of what you need.

Best of luck to you OP x

Most things I bought ended up being a complete waste of time (nappy bin being no1 on that list!) a few of the best things I had were :-

1. Baby changing table. I have a bad back and it really helped to be standing to change the babies nappy without having to bend over. Here is a link to one similar to what I used (obviously cheaper ones are available)

(www.preciouslittleone.com/product-information/47/26316/tutti-bambini-3-bear-c20-shelf-changer-(white)/?gclid=CK7Or8C58L8CFQjItAodrhEAAA)

1. Muslin clothes - as many as you can get, they are handy in so many ways ( still use them now 2 years later)

1. A mix of nappies & wipes, you just won't know what will suit your baby until you have tried a few, so don't go overboard on one brand.

1. I know you want to breast feed but for non-breastfeeders the pre made milk is so handy, a couple of days worth of those really helps in the first few days.

1. Make sure you fridge & freezer has food ready to cook, bung in the oven type. It is so tiring in the first few days adjusting to your new life and you or partner are not going to want to spend time cooking. Simple food such as cottage pie, which you can put in the oven and some veggies you can steam is good food that can be left to cook itself!

1. I know a few have said don't buy too many clothes, but I would suggest a few packs of baby grows and vests, I was in hospital for 3 days and my DP seemed to just spend his time in and out taking clothes home washing them and bringing them back!

Hope some of these suggestions help. Congrats by the way :)

Thank you all :)

Very very helpful stuff.

I am definitely going to start popping one or two baby things a week into the weekly food shop...good idea!

Feel a bit calmer now!!!

I really really hope you are starting to get a little excited! I am...for all you parents to be...whether a long journey to get there or a complete shock. Mine all grown now but just sitting here with my DD discussing her having a baby one day! (watching OBEM) She said she would like me to be there...am so excited but shes not planning to get pregnant for years!! I am sending heartfelt good wishes to you all.
Oh...and a pramsuit is a little all in one to keep them warm outside...get one when you know babys size..and get it a little bigger as it will be easier to get baby into...they do ones with little ears and makes baby look like a little teddy!!!

I had twins second pregnancy, so I pared it down.

What you need before baby is born:

Nappies - more than you think
Breast pads - Johnson & Johnson
Lansinoh nipple cream.
Tena lady pads for bleeding.
Babygros with short sleeves. (long sleeves too hot - layer)
Leggings - with or with out feet. This is least number of poppers and quickest all round for changes.
Car seat
borrowed moses basket with new mattress to put baby in in living room while you go to the toilet.
olive oil or coconut oil for scabby scalps and baby massage.
change mat
wipes or cotton wool initially for baby bum.

Swaddle baby for first six weeks - so get waffle blankets.
After that you will 'know' when a grobag is ok. They are easiest after six weeks.

Sling

You don't need before birth (they are all easily ordered online in days anyway):
buggy (friend had none for 6 months)
cot
bouncy chair
high chair
baby backpack
toys
books
nappy bag

Muslins - x 10.
If you get hand downs they are better as softer with age, honest. You do need these.

With DC1 I bought just about every single piece of baby equipment going and some things I even bought two of or two versions of- i.e a bouncer and a swing. I read the lists and felt disorganised not having EVERYTHING so just got it all. I had a wardrobe kitted out with brand new newborn clothing and it had everything in it from snowsuits to the 100 poppered vests I decided he needed .

In reality he co slept most of the time, didn't use the cot until he was about 4 months old, never used some of the equipment including one of the two Moses baskets I got (one for downstairs and one for upstairs, my DGM insisted it was necessary and I believed her ), the bouncer and top and tail bowls. Oh and he weighed ten pounds so none of the newborn clothes I bought fit and DH had to go out shopping to get 0-3 month babygrows!

With DC2 I was a bit more clued up and realised I didn't need half of the shit I bought for DC1. I just got reusable nappies and wipes, used the same Moses basket but once again she co slept often, a double buggy which was used to death, NO newborn clothing just 0-3 month and upwards. The only bit of useless equipment I got her was the swing because as much as DC1 loved his, she hated hers.

DC3 co slept, didn't use a buggy, reusable nappies and wipes, breastfed. All I got her was a sling, some more nappies (because first two DC were still in nappies so needed a few more) and a few babygrows in 0-3 again! When she was 2 months old I bought a baby bjorn bouncer and it was a life saver but that was her, DC1 and 2 wouldn't have liked it.

So really my advice is- it's 2014 and everything can be bought online and delivered the next day. Get the absolute basics- a few babygrows, vests and hats and a coat because of your DC been an Autumn baby. A sling or pram depending on which you prefer or both if you want to flick between the two, a Moses basket/crib and a couple of blankets, nappies and wipes. That's really all a newborn requires. You can get a few bottles and steriliser 'just in case' but I do think that negativity makes you less likely to stick at Breastfeeding personally because the 'back up' is right there readily available and if you can't get on with BFing I'm sure there's a shop fairly close by that stocks formula and bottles, if not then online next day delivery .

Try not to panic! Babies are really quite simple creatures, as long as they're clean, warm, fed and loved they're happy.

I'm glad my list is useful - I did forget the maternity pads for you though! Though I just used the biggest nighttime pads, which worked fine for me.

I see that the pram suit has already been explained, so I won't again.

How close are you to shops? The nearer the shops are, the less you need to begin with.

Wishing you all the best for a smooth birth

I found the most important things were:

Car seat
A baby bouncer
baby grows
vests
pram suit
muslin cloths
nappies
cotton wool
wet wipes
nappy bags
pram
moses basket
sheets and blankets (several sets, I swear DS used to see clean bedding as a challenge)
changing mat
a bag to hang on the pram with nappies/spare clothes etc (it doesn't need to be a posh changing bag)

When my eldest was born I hadn't got anything ready, I ended up at the hospital with a babygrow that was too small (he was a massive baby) and a bag of nappies. It was fine, my Dad went out and bought some essentials, so honestly don't stress too much, as long as baby has your boob, a blanket and nappies there is nothing you can't cope without til someone can go to the shop for you.

I bought essential toilettry items like nappies and one pack of vests and baby grows and a car seat and thats it. We were given so many gifts or pre used items of clothing & equipment that we didnt need to buy much.