Camping outside

[wendle70]

8 and a 6 yr old (stepdaughters) camping by themselves in garden tonight (garden is not fenced off but in a quiet village). I'm a bit concerned but OH their dad thinks it's ok.

Maybe next year...

When she's 13? At 14 she can be off doing duke of Edinburg and staying in a TENT on UNSECURED CAMPSITES with loads of STRANGERS! Panic panic panc stations

The only reason I would not is because of the unsecured garden and the ,6 year old. Dd is 5 and quite sensible but I can just imagine her waking up and wondering where she is frightened.

Hope it all went ok last night op. And the kids had fun.

I'd be fine with this, although most of DDs friends are 'wussier' than her so would scream at the first animal noise! I'd leave the back door unlocked and I'd sleep on the sofa, but otherwise I'd be ok with it.

DD has slept in her playhouse a few times, couple with me, couple with her cousin, but that is slightly different as the door could be locked.

We all manage risk differently, but I wouldn't let an isolated incident from 20 years ago colour my view.

'What does blackfoot unloved mean?'

Backdoor unlocked. Autocorrect presumably.

Blackfoot unloved means back door unlocked Hibiscus

I wouldn't but more because of their ages than risks of predators and abductors. At 6 and 8 they might get scared and I don't think it's right to give an 8 year old responsibility of a 6 year old!! What if younger one was sick in middle of night/ had a nightmare/ wanted to go in the house. Would an 8 year old know what to do and feel confident in that situation or terrified?

If these were my kids I would be furious, thankfully my ex despite being a massive tool wouldn't dream of doing this!

It is very worrying that the mother doesn't know, and that the OP is prepared to do nothing rather than give her 'ammunition'
He's not thought this through, is doing something that she should know about and have a say in. OP, the children are going to return to their mother and tell her what they did anyway, so really it's your relationship that you are prioritising here.
Either you see a problem, or you don't.
Why didn't you camp out with them?

Goodness it wouldn't dawn on me that it wouldn't be alright, - my DS frequently slept out in a tent on his own at that age ............ I can't get over how 'cautious' so many mumsnetters are. No wonder so many children are wrapped up in cotton wool if they can't spend a night in their own garden, in a quiet village.

My two slept out in tents last night. They loved it. They are 10 and 8. We live in a cluster of houses down a dirt track and have electric gates, but they have slept out occasionally for the last couple of years before we had the gates.

The risk of abduction is so negligible it is genuinely not a concern! They are all for camping out again tonight.

I googled.
According to the Guardian:

In 2004, there were just over a thousand children in the UK who were abducted. 54% of them by strangers. Thankfully, the figure has dropped down to just over 500 per year, with a similar stranger ratio.

Not many. But too many if its one of yours.

I am not scaremongering.
Just saying, kids do go missing and I wouldn't do it.

I've camped with my children twice this summer.
They've camped with Beavers and Cubs.
Also on a Christian camp recently.
I am not anti kids camping.
But not in the circs the OP describes.

Did the kids survive OP? Nothing on the new so I assume so.

Thought they would....

More likely to get squashed on the school run.....

firstchoice - have you googled how many children die in car accidents? Do you drive a car?

I am not being picky but genuinely interested why people get so nervous of this sort of thing but probably get in a car, cross a road etc every single day.

Mine love camping out in the garden, and have done for years - they're 12 and 9 now. The tent goes up the first night of the holidays and invariably there's any number of kids out there

Fully fenced garden and I sleep downstairs on the sofa bed with the back door unlocked and the outside light on.

Yes, they've got scared a few times but they just come inside

Hope everything was OK last night!

I was brought up not far from where Sophie Hook was abducted and murdered and I would have said it was a seemingly 'safe' area - but clearly there is no such thing.
My DS only camped out in the garden with his dad at that age - and we have a garden with a high fence which has a locking gate, and we live in a 'safe' area.
Hope your OH saw sense last night OP.

gwort, I take your point.
I do drive a car. My father died in a car crash at 23 and my mother never drove again and brought me up to believe all cars were instruments of death, literally. So, I didn't drive until 33 and am still a nervous driver. But, I live in the middle of nowhere and there are 2 buses a day so I have to drive most days. It's unavoidable.

But, putting an 8 and 6 year old in an unsecure garden without an adult (and without their mothers knowledge or consent) IS avoidable and might be more sensible than to take the risk, however small, as the consequences are potentially devastating.

If they want to do it, ask the mother first, make sure there is an adult either in tent, or very very close by, leave doors open / lights on etc. All the things that those who've done it on here sensibly recommend. These would all lessen the tiny risk of anything tragic happening.

Suggest you read the following for more information on the statistics

ceop.police.uk/Documents/ceopdocs/TAKEN_Final%20Copy.pdf

From that there was one attempted abduction from a person's home in that year (2011 I think) across the entire country.

3/4 of attempted abductions by strangers are unsuccessful (which are included in the 500 quoted above.

However it does say that 1 in 59 children will experience some kind of attempted abduction by a stranger at some point in childhood and 1 in 605 an actual abduction. (though those numbers don't match the other statistics in the study so I am somewhat skeptical of that).

Agree with an earlier poster who said they will run in at the first little noise they hear probably.

Just lights on, sleep downstairs. I think you should ask their mother too.

I can't remember how old DDs were when they first camped in the playhouse or a tent. DD1 was probably 8/9 the first time she stayed out all night, and she was on her own as DD2 (3years younger) chicken out.

Yes are garden is pretty secluded from the road, but the neighbours must guess what they are doing.

They just take Walky talkies (to demand hot chocolate) and a decent torch.

I think it's fine. There's 2 of them and they're not babies.

I have a motion alarm that I've used when camping or caravanning. You hook it on the tent entrance or window handle and it sounds if there's any disturbance. Its very reassuring.

All the people that say ask their mother, would you say ask their father if the mother was letting them sleep outside?

My main concern would be if they awoke scared or needing the toilet, or got disorientated and left the tent.

A couple of years ago there were quite a few rapes on camp sites in France. I don't think this was reported in the British press because none of the victims were british - belgian, dutch. One of the victims was six.

www.thelocal.fr/20140328/campground-rapist-gets-13-years-in-prison

13 years is not long enough.

I have absolutely no opinion in whether the OP should allow her stepdaughters to camp out in the garden.

I just wanted to make sure that people didn't have the idea that hundreds of children are being snatched from gardens every year.

Doesn't mean there is no risk and how someone deals with what risk there is, is down to their own conscience.

An abductor would have to climb over 6 gardens with 6 foot fences to get to our backyard so this is not something that I personally would worry about. OP's circumstance is different so her decision can be different too.