To still be angry at the person that bullied me at school?

[cheeseandfickle]

All through high school I was bullied by a boy in my form group. He called me "ugly" and "horse face", and said various very spiteful nasty things to me, and got other boys to join in too. He was a very popular boy and the class clown so when he said things everyone, even my friends, would laugh.

Anyway, he is on FB, and I keep seeing things that mutual friends have shared of his. He went into a very specialised field at school, and is now quite famous in his field, although not famous in the usual sense of the word, and friends keep sharing links such as him being in a specialist magazine interview. I feel like writing in the comments section of these articles that he was a nasty bully at school.

Even though it was 20 years ago that I left school, I still have a bit of a lack of confidence due to him! I spent years feeling like I wasn't good enough and that I was ugly.

Why don't you write him a short, private email or message? Keep it short and state the facts. I think you'll find that the man is a lot different to the boy he was and it might give you some clos... (no, sorry, I couldn't bring myself to type it, but you know what I mean).

I think that unless you receive a private message from him apologising for the bullying, reminding your "friends" that he might be famous, but he's still a bullying cunt might bring them back to reality.

I bet he doesn't have a clue that he affected you in any way. Kids will say things flippantly to cause amusement to their friends or to hurt at that moment in time. I don't think that the adult him would be impressed that he has caused you long term insecurities.

Maybe you should message him and tell him in a polite way.
He may be horrified.

If he doesn't care less, then he is the one with the problem, not you.

I got a lot of this type of clowning around bullying and it permanently knocked my self confidence.

A couple of years ago I was at a fortieth birthday party, for one of the ok girls from our class. However, some of the participants were also present. One of them suddenly said how sorry he was that he'd never stuck up for me, that he was still ashamed of how they'd all stood and laughed at clown's nasty jokes because if they were being directed at someone else then they were safe from clown's nasty tongue.

I promptly burst into floods of tears, which old class mate found very disconcerting - but the whole thing really made me feel much better, and I'm less likely to find excuses not to go to certain parties etc, which I'd previously done.

Alpa my friend got an apology from one of her bullies. My friend had no Mother growing up and this girl had made her life hell. Then her sister in law died and she got custody of her child...meaning she now understood what it was to grow up with no Mother and she was heartbroken looking back.

OP....message him. Privately but be polite.

Do nasty teenage boys who set out to hurt and humiliate people miraculously turn into lovely caring adults? I doubt it. He's probably still bullying, but on a different level. If you want to remind him of his behaviour on Facebook, I'd go ahead. Just be factual. After all, he got away with his nasty behaviour for years on end. He didn't bully you in private did he? He did it in public, and enjoyed seeing you humiliated in front of everyone.
A work colleague once mentioned to me that she had been a bully at school. Surprise surprise, she was a bit of a bully at work too, and very full of herself. Which helped her to become very successful in her field of expertise.

Tortoise I think it's ignorant to assume that unkind teens stay unkind. I was a bit of a nasty piece as a teen....I was...there's no dressing it up...I'm not now.

Life teaches lessons...hormones and difficult home lives can conspire to create bullies temporarily.

op i didn't have a great childhood and often took it out on class mates. I could be very nasty.

When I see these ladies out and about know i could die of shame. Some ive apologized to when I've had the chance.

Private message him. He might send an apology