To ask to move a meeting in 10 months time

[cinemalovers]

I am one of 5 people in a team organising a series of 3 events spaced over 8 months. At a meeting that I couldn't go to, dates were chosen. No other plans have been made at this stage. The final date (in 10 months time) is on a Saturday which happens to be my nephew's 3rd birthday party.

I asked if we could change that date so that I could go to my nephew's party, which will be a big family occasion

Aibu?

Backforgood - good points about the planning, but the only thing the dates depend on is our availability. And there was no agenda to the meeting, I didn't know the dates would be set then, and they were circulated with 'subject to confirmation of cinema's availability.'

So it's not the change that is the issue, but the reason.

Is the 3rd birthday party really already in the diary? Or is that just the date you are guessing they will pick?

Next time though, just say unfortunately I'm not available that day. I love MaryZ's suggestion for a response now though

I think you are being unreasonable. The child is going to be 3. He won't notice if you are there or not. If his family care, they are being unreasonable. If you care, ask your family to move the party (the 3 year old won't notice).

The phrase to use for events in future is, Sorry I have a family commitment on that date.

The phrase to use for events in future is, Sorry I have a family commitment on that date.

The phrase to use for events in future is, Sorry I have a family commitment on that date.

Sorry, yabu. It's not an important reason and you have plenty of time to organise another time to see family.

YANBU to want to have it on a date when you are free but the reason is a bit trivial, sorry.

Sorry I also think yabu. If the majority can make it, I guess it will be unfair to change the date for just one person. Also a 3 year old party isn't a good enough reason, unless it's your own.

Unfortunately a lot of people wouldn't think it a valid reason - in certain careers it would even be expected to work on the day of your own toddler's birthday, even at a weekend.

We are big on Family in our family and likewise any excuse for a get-together, and it would be important to me to go - but I wouldn't expect colleagues to get it.

I would go with Maryz suggestion for this time, but next time just reference 'prior commitment'.

Well, they have told me that my reason is not valid

'Erm, it still means I won't be working that day!'

I learned along time ago never to commit to a date that was some distance in the future immediately.
I always keep it vague, sometimes look a bit puzzled and say something like,' I'm not quite sure about that date, I need to check it out' or ' we can pencil it in for now, but I have to double check something, have we got any alternatives, just in case'

I really do not think anyone could seriously consider a nephew's birthday as a realistic reason to change a date for a work meeting.

Without wishing to sound mean, "it's my nephew's third birthday party on that day'" is probably the lamest excuse I've ever heard. As always, I mean this in a loving way.

Whatever happens, as a freelancer, you need to develop your 'stock' responses to a variety of situations re your availability for work.

I think like others said, you should've been more vague about the reason you couldn't attend. You might have to blag it now like Maryz suggested.

I think depending on the importance of the event and just how up feasible it is to move it, then you might be BU to suggest moving it because of your nephew's third birthday.

Incidentally, why weren't you at the meeting where the dates were suggested? Is there anything form that you could use to your advantage in any way?