To be furious that dp ignores me when ever he feels like it?

[Cluelesslulu]

Am sitting here fuming. Trying not to send dp an angry text. DP and I live separately and he texts me most evenings that we don't see each other, usually around 9ish. Nothing tonight, so I know he is out whooping it up in the pub, having far too good a time to even give me a thought. Not even a "text you a bit later love, I'm busy". Have told him many times this annoys me, still does it. AIBU or just hard work?

I don't like the 'him getting angry and misinterpreting my words' that's enough to be getting out of the relationship as ASAP.
For tonight, can you not just text him and say off to bed now, talk tomorrow.

Yabu to be so angry about this....

Personally I hate those ring or text at a certain time routines....odd

Do your own thing. Put the phone on silent, go to bed and reply in the morning. Sorted.

You're being ridiculous. Go to bed whenever you want to.

My DH usually calls every night if he's away for work. Last month he was away for a week, didn't call one night. My reaction was 'bet he's out drinking, hope he has a good night.' No idea why anyone would make it a big deal.

If he sulks why does that have to be your problem? You don't have to put up with it if you don't want to.

He sounds controlling and abusive op. Is he ok with you going to the pub nights out etc?

This 'relationship' sounds toxic tbh

Fair enough. Know I should ditch the relationship, just wanted to see it in words. We've been "seeing each other" for 5 years. Think this says it all. He has blown hot and cold the whole time, hence my "neediness". Am usually quite together, or was. Bombards me with texts when he's bored, ignores when he's got someone more interesting to chat to. Just a courtesy text "Im ok, just out for the evening, speak later" would have done. He virtually sends an ambulance to my house if I don't answer his texts.

Cluelesslulu
"I have turned my phone off and am off to bed shortly, he'll be angry though, that when he texts I don't reply. So I'll have some sulking tomorrow."

So you are going to ignore him and get mad when he sulks like you are doing now.

You both sound hard work in different ways and the more you say about him the more sinister he sounds. I think you're right that you should ditch this relationship.

But you know he is out for the evening. He goes out every night, remember? What exactly do you want him to say?,!

Clueless, you've posted endlessly about this before, haven't you?

Sorry I've mixed you up with some other poster whose boyfriend goes to the pub every evening and doesn't always behave the way you expect, or even the way he should.

If there happen to be two of you: You're both wasting energy on a completely shit apology for a relationship, and I hope you'll stop doing that before you die of old age.

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

Tbh you both sound like hard work.

Sorry if I've mixed you up

How old is the man? 18? That would be pushing it for such childish behaviour.

It's just a habit we've got into, we only see each other 3 nights a week, so keep the relationship going via texts the other nights. I don't go out with friends very often as money is tight. I've asked him to call instead of text, cause of the way he misenterprets my words when he wants to argue. I suppose the relationship is not what I want, if I'm honest.

Is this the 'd'p who has moved the goalposts about moving in together time and time again?

He goes to the pub EVERY night, gets drunk, angry, misinterprets your words? LTB. I wouldn't be dealing with that shit.

This just sounds like nonsense to me :) My OH doesn't text me when I want him to (or even pick up the phone) but he texts me whenever I am not bothered! It's just not something we can control! :P

FIVE YEARS?!! Are you mad?!

Life is too short for all this nonsense.

Sounds like a live out cock lodger tbh, he doesn't want you to have a life without him just to be at his beck & call as and when it suits him.

Im embarrassed to say we are not teenagers, far from it. I suppose this pathetic relationship is my "last chance saloon". I know I could do better but am reluctant to start again, so know I would probably give up on relationships for good, given my age. It's not that I've got an empty life when he's not around, far from it. I know I come across as a right saddo, but he makes me so mad! I do sometimes yearn for a peaceful life without all this carry on!

Clueless, if you find yourself being needy and that's out of character for you, then the relationship isn't working for you.

And with what you've said in your subsequent posts, I can see why.

Just cut your losses, there's more to life than this.

Are you staying with him, only because you think he's your last chance then?