To think that 'equal' parenting is a myth

[zoeymlucas]

Me and DH both work part time on alternative days, I also work from home some evenings doing private work for additional money as an accountant. We split all money 50/50 after the deduction of all bills and money for children.
However today he had a strop as he is going out with his mates to the pub tomorrow at 5.00 (it's my work day so it's his day of being home with boys) and I won't be home from work till 5.30 so I should of arranged childcare! It is always expected of me to sort childcare, shopping, bills, uniforms, lunch boxes, dinners on days we are both home, days out etc etc so how the hell are we equal parents sharing everything?
Does actual equal parenting happen or is it a myth we are told

If one parent is the SAHP, then logically you just can't have equal parenting, really. And in than situation it wouldn't be fair to criticise anyone for not being an equal parent.

In your situation, OP, which is quite like ours - shift work means DP probably does more 'childcare/parenting' than I do - I would expect it to be pretty much equal and I would be annoyed in your situation. If he wants to leave the house before the time you're due to get in then he either asks nicely whether you can leave early one day, or arranges childcare. As far as I'm concerned, the parent that is at home while the other is out or at work is on duty, so to speak, and if they want to go out then they need to organise childcare.

However there's nothing wrong with playing to your strengths and I really don't think you both need to be able to do everything, either to be equal partners in a relationship or equal parents. There's nothing wrong with, as elephants says, two people sorting childcare would probably be a disaster.

Cause it does exist

It does exist. When both parents are conscientious enough to pull their weight. What is more, a man, who wants to be a gentleman, will gladly offer to do more whilst his beautiful wife has a little wind down. Of course she gracefully accepts and they all live happily ever after. I am not sarcastic - the man in question is very well trained by his mum and the wife just reaps the benefits :-).

It does exist. When both parents are conscientious enough to pull their weight.

Quite right. When my DH first started back at work he slipped into the habit of letting me do the bulk because he was tired and it was easier. It only took a few days for DS not to settle with him and to want his mummy. DH was so upset. That was not the relationship he wanted with his son. So he pulled his socks up and has put in the effort ever since.