another "neighbour's noisy kids" thread - more of a WWYD?

[wink1970]

We generally get on with our neighbour, who is a hard-working single mum with 3 kids (sometimes a live in nanny, sometimes not, they are usually extended family). Her youngest boy can be very boisterous, but over the years we have worked out a level of tolerance versus 'telling-off' that works for all of us.

She's currently working away again, she often does for weeks at a time, and as normal family have moved in to 'child mind'. This time there's a moving feast of 3 or 4 adults and at least 8 kids, none of the usual people, and the kids are driving us nuts. Despite a huge - and I mean huge- garden they have taken to playing (screaming) loudly in the street right outside our house, and today have spent the entire morning kicking a ball against another neighbour's garage. We have spoken nicely to the kids, but the adults have gone awol, they are all home alone (the oldest is about 9) and they are acting up - the minute we go inside they start again.

Last night I tried speaking to one of the adults, but she walked straight past my up the drive and into the house.

What would you do? I don't have the neighbour's mobile - I don't usually need it as the adults-in-charge are usually responsible.

there are 8 kids and the eldest is 9, and NO adults there supervising? that's not good IMO - how old are the youngest or have they gone off with the "child minding adults"

Nothing you can do except suck it up I'm afraid

Next garden but one is full of literally screaming kids on a trampoline like they're witnessing murder but I'm ignoring it because I don't see what else you can do

If you think there are no supervising adults with them the call the police 101 line.

pretty sure there are no adults there, the cars have disappeared for the day & nobody is answering the front door. I don't want to involve the police if I can help it.

I'm very laid back about these Inge normally but a 9-year-old supervising 8 kids? I'd have phoned the police the second I got wind of it.

If you don't want to involve the police I don't know what else you can do, apart from speaking to your neighbour on her return so hopefully it doesn't happen again .

Do you have contact details for the Mum? She might not have a clue!

Threaten to call the police?

I'd put a note through the door in a sealed envelope with Parent / Guardian written on the front (don't tell the kids, they may open / hide it).

Write a note to say you are aware that 'neighbour' is working away and normally the children are no bother however the screaming outside your house is unacceptable.
When you called round to ask the adults in charge / loco parentis to ask them to intervene you were very concerned to find no in / answering the door and a 9 year old seemingly in charge and you are considering calling the police to report it.

Keep a copy (take a picture on your phone) should you ever need to show your neighbour what you wrote and hopefully that will be enough to kick the irresponsible adults in to touch.

I think I may just have to live with it until she gets back. I really don't want to involve the police as they were round a lot last year when it turned out she was living here illegally (all resolved now). One mention of the police and she shits herself, so I don't want to 'over use' it...

sorry, are you saying that you think that there are a bunch of kids alone and unsupervised in their home and the oldest of them is 9 and there is no adult supervision overnight?

hi Vital, no the adults appear to be going out randomly during the day - I say 'appear' as the cars disappeared at about 10 & came back at about 6 today, yesterday was about 4 hours (we both work from home, my study looks out to the front). No adults came out when I talked to the kids about their noise (my neighbour or the 'usual' adults come out to check everything is OK if they ever think the kids are being unreasonable, partly to check on me I suppose, but also because she's quite respectful/aware they are sharing a street with other people).

I would do exactly what mimi suggests. I know you don't want to frighten the mother but you also don't want to see the children being neglected and mimi's suggestion strikes the right middle ground in my view. I would also speak to the mother when she comes back and make sure those particular adults are never left in charge of the children again.

Just phone the Police.

Ah ok. I just wnted to check when you said the cars had gone for the day and nobody was answering the door cos it read like possibly the children were being left without adequate care.
You wouldnt be letting the mum down if you reported these concerns. If the people you entrusted your children to werent looking after them appropriately - wouldnt you hope someone would get help for them?

Hello everyone, an update if you're interested, and also because I often wonder about 'unfinished' threads......

I ended up calling the police as the behaviour of the children escalated into full-on 'lord of the flies', and still no sign of adults at the house for more than the odd hour at a time during the day (though a car has turned up overnight each night). My only concern for their safety became whether I skinned them alive.

The police came on Tuesday and said:

(a) it's not actually illegal to leave children at home without supervision (this was new to me)

(b) as there was a 13 year old there (we found that out on the Sunday when DH ended up shouting at them in the street and she finally came out) then that was good enough

....so, nothing could be done.

Then, last night they started throwing stones at any car that came round the corner, including DH's brand new Merc as he drove home. NOT GOOD! Much shouting ensued, and an actual adult appeared from nowhere. She profusely apologised, "didn't realise" they had been doing all of this and made the whole lot of them sweep up the stones and apologise to DH. They have now been 'grounded' to their own garden and an adult will be there constantly until they all piss off back to London at the end of the school hols.

/the end (hopefully)

Blimey, hopefully they will be gone soon then. Can you really leave children alone in the house? Sorry the police were not more helpful to you.

I'd feel less guilty when my DC get noisy.

So sad to hear they weren't more useful when you involved the police. Would have been a good opportunity to build a good relationship with the children/police, and had a word about respect for other people.

Shocking they think a 13 year old who isn't watching is a safe babysitter. Fuck sake- hardly adequate care, is it??