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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking Mother and Baby car parking spots....

406 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 28/07/2014 12:52

....are actually for parents with babies/toddlers?

It was always my understanding that the wide spaces are for parents who have car seats and pushchairs to contend with, not for parents of 10 year olds who just want to park nearer to the shop, like a family that I saw today?!

I'm only moaning because I've just twisted and scraped my back trying to remove my car seat from my half closed back door door, in a very tight parking space whilst trying not to scratch the car I'm parked next to.

I was secretly fuming at those in the Mother and Baby spaces who surely shouldn't have been there, like the one I mentioned above.

And breathe Smile

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 29/07/2014 12:57

Do you not have trolley parks in the Supermarkets where you live then? Are all the trolleys outside the front door? I've never encountered a supermarket like that in my life, tbh!

Do you really lug a "ridiculously heavy car seat" across the petrol station forecourt to pay for petrol?

Sirzy · 29/07/2014 12:59

Park by the trolley park, saves any hassle of trying to find a trolley.

I do that now with DS as it means I can fasten him in his seat, then put the shopping in the boot, then return the trolley.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 12:59

If I go shopping with DH I just make him carry the car seat Grin

pobble - the main car park does have trolley stations situated around the car park, but the car seat trolleys are only at the front of the store next to where the parent and child spaces are Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:00

I do fairy Grin

OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 29/07/2014 13:01

Why not just take the baby?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 29/07/2014 13:03

This is why online shopping is the best Grin

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:03

I'm not supposed to carry my baby freely unless I really have to - I have epilepsy so can't risk dropping him should I have a seizure - I'm even supposed to carry him in his car seat when I go up and down my stairs Shock

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/07/2014 13:04

surely carrying him in his car seat is more dangerous really, especially with the added weight.

And surely the epilepsy means you don't drive, therefore won't be alone in the car therefore why is it an issue?

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:09

Apparently the car seat is meant to protect them as at least if I drop that he is protected inside it.

I do drive, my epilepsy is controlled enough for that. Apparently the first 6 months after having a baby is the biggest trigger for causing seizures to return hence why my ?Neurologist team tell me to take these extra precautions. They've increased my medication dose to try and counteract any seizures occurring but I just have to be more careful for this time period.

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 29/07/2014 13:09

And surely the epilepsy means you don't drive, therefore won't be alone in the car therefore why is it an issue?

^^This.

Surely if there's a risk you could drop the the car seat due to a seizure, you shouldn't be driving either?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 29/07/2014 13:09

X post.

EstellaSpitsEmOut · 29/07/2014 13:10

I completely agree with you OP. They are there to make people's lives easier who need them - not for the convenience of everyone. Common sense would hope someone with a perfectly mobile child wouldn't take one of these spaces.

Sirzy · 29/07/2014 13:10

So its enough of a risk you cant carry a baby but they do let you drive a car? Sounds very odd to me!

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:15

I know sirzy - but I guess they know they know it's not realistic to tell someone they can't drive for 6 months. They just say it's about reducing the risks where possible. There are recommendations about not driving whilst medication doses are reduced, which will most like
The the case for me in2 months, but I'm not sure how long for. But it is only a recommendation, not a rule. I probably would stop though.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/07/2014 13:15

BTW not for a second suggesting your lying, just sounds rather concerning mixed message advice to me. Surely if there is any risk they should be stopping you from driving?

SistersOfPercy · 29/07/2014 13:16

Surely at petrol stations its easier to pay at pump than get a child out of the car?
That said, I left mine in the car and went in to pay anyway when they were small.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:21

sirzy - you can't be stopped from driving unless you have a seizure - hence why they can only recommend it with medication dose reductions and not enforce it. It's not a risk I'd like to take though.

sisters - where possible I definitely use pay at the pump Smile

OP posts:
Missunreasonable · 29/07/2014 13:38

Writer wannabe: surely the safest thing to do would be to take a pushchair which folds up small enough to not take up room in the boot and put baby in that. I can't see how lugging a heavy car seat around is safe. If you were to have a seizure and drop the car seat it would only reduce injury if the car seat fell so it was facing upright; it wouldn't do any good if the seat turned over as it fell.
If the risks of a seizure are that high that you need to be careful even going up and down stairs then it would make sense for you not to be driving. It doesn't matter what the legalities are it's about knowing what you need to do as a responsible person to reduce risks. I think the consequences of being in a serious accident due to a seizure are at least as concerning (probably moreso) than dropping baby due to a seizure although neither scenario bears thinking about.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 29/07/2014 13:43

You're right missunreasonable - I was in such a flap about TTC because of my health, me and DH had a lot of pre-conception counselling etc. I have obviously got nothing against women with epilepsy having babies but it must be so much harder for women who still have active epilepsy.

One thing I considered doing this morning was parking next to one of the normal trolley stations at the back of the car park, getting a normal sized trolley and putting DS's car seat in that, and then wheeling him in that to the car seat trollies Grin I'm sure I would look pretty loopy but it would solve the problem Smile

OP posts:
andsmile · 29/07/2014 13:47

The OP as a member of this forum is entitled to ask - this is her experience she wants to share, and ponder through a discussion with others who may or maynot have taken part in a discusssion on this topic in the past.

Why bother posting to tell someone it has all been done before just move on and find something unique to you to talk about on another board.

The sarcastic comments about the topic of discussion are worse than outright personal attacks in this instance. Just because those posters have been parents or participated in a discussion before seem to give them a right to do this?

naty1 · 29/07/2014 13:50

People take the car seat out if they have a young baby that is likely to go to sleep in the time round a supermarket. If they are thry sort to cry when moved when asleep.
Or maybe you just want to pop in and get something.

If the breathing problem is asthma them actually a little bit of walking gently is probably a good thing.

I dont understand why older slightly disabled people dont just ask the driver to pull up in front of the store for them to get out with lots of space, again thats what i would do if pregnant and needed extra room. (Provided youre the passenger)

So i think the p&c are only really necessary up to 1-2yrs or even a year.

I think they are better by the entrance so you can easily grab the trolly and may not need a raincover.

Clearly a 10yr old with no disabilities would need no extra space

fledermaus · 29/07/2014 13:51

You won't risk carrying your baby in case you have a seizure, but you will risk driving and possibly killing him and anyone else unlucky enough to be on the road at the same time if you have a seizure Hmm

Either you're being ridiculously precious about carrying your baby or ridiculously blasé about driving.

andsmile · 29/07/2014 13:52

Even taking the sleeping baby out of a carseat is tricky as you could wake them yes but its still difficult to manouver round a tight door angle and if they are wriggler you run the risk of them banging their head of foot.

Sirzy · 29/07/2014 13:53

If the breathing problem is asthma them actually a little bit of walking gently is probably a good thing.

Well if you don't mind having to stop every few minutes, and give plenty of extra inahlers etc. But its fine as long as someone else doesn't need to 'wriggle' to get a child into a car seat hey!

Missunreasonable · 29/07/2014 13:57

I hope I didn't offend you writerwannabe as that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to get my head around the risks of a carrying a baby and driving whilst at risk of a seizure. I slipped down the stairs once whilst holding my newborn (fortunately I went down on my back and had him firmly in my arms). It was such a scary thing to happen and I can't imagine living with the knowledge that something similar could happen at anytime but I wouldn't have control over my body and the way I fall. The only person I know with epilepsy has very regular seizures so I have nothing else to compare to and know very little about the range of seizure risk so apologies if I am coming across as very naive and lacking in knowledge.