To wonder quite what my DM meant by this?

[wowfudge]

My DM phoned this morning. We had a good chat about things then she asked if we had plans to go away on holiday. I said no, nothing booked (she knows we are saving to have some work done on the house). She then said, 'I think you should get some sun', then we laughed because it's been so hot and sunny here so far this summer. She then went on to say, 'You should go to Europe because, you know, you've been to America a few times now. You should go to Paris.' To which I replied that was quite an expensive place to go.

I don't know how to take this or quite what she meant by it so I didn't ask her to clarify. This from the woman who has been going to the same place for pretty much the last 30+ years every year and baking on a beach. Not my kind of thing tbh - I prefer more to do and see. And my DF refuses to fly long haul thus limiting where they can go.

Part of me thinks she doesn't see the attraction of the places we've been or she thinks our holidays have been to places DP wants to go rather than me.

Anyway, I found it odd and am still puzzling. Any thoughts on this?

Strange thing to ask. I honestly don't think any of us know your dmum better than you do.

I'll go for B - she thinks your holidays have been to places your dp wanted to go.

Perhaps you mentioned wanting to go to Paris when you were younger.

She's not planning to pay for a holiday to Paris for you and trying to find out whether you would like it, is she?

That's a lovely thought coppertop, but I can't see that happening in a month of Sundays.

Maybe she saw a bit about Paris on the telly, and was just making conversation?

My dmum is obsessed with Paris. She keeps saying dh and I should go, even though he has been and didn't like it, and I don't want to go. She has been there herself as well. She will not stop going in about it, and in her case I have no idea why.

With you dm, perhaps if you df always chooses their holiday she is trying to live vicariously through you?

Could she be watching the last stage of the Tour de France & thinking how nice it looked?

Is she saying you need a bit of a French chic injection?

Perhaps you're overthinking it.

Maybe she is sold on Paris as a romantic destination and is trying to place an order for a bonus grandchild!

Maybe she's desperate to go to Paris, but your dad isn't interested so she's sounding you out as a travel buddy?

Do you have a boyfriend perhaps....

I am guilty of saying "you should..." it's a really bad habit and I know it comes across like I am giving orders. I really am not I just mean to suggest stuff. It's the same as saying ooh, have you ever thought about... or would you ever like to... or if I was able, I'd like to...

But I know it's irritating so I am trying to stop myself.

Could this be your mum's problem? Not that she actually means you should/must/ought but just an annoying way of phrasing normal chit chat?

Well, it's a conundrum! DM and DP have been to Paris a few times and rave about it. She doesn't usually interfere in anything or give her opinion on anything in my life - something I've always appreciated when I hear friends complain about their parents from time to time.

I do wonder if she thinks we should get married - we've been together five years, living together for four and a half, although we've known each other longer. DSis is married with two little ones. She does have some quite conservative, old-fashioned views...

Who knows

Is she hinting at you going so she can tag along?

Well she can hint all she likes, much as I love her, it ain't happening!

Ooo! Do you suppose your DP is planning to propose and got your mum to sound you out about the possible location?

I'm enjoying some of the suggestions, but DP doesn't see the point of marriage and I'm divorced and not exactly hung up about it, so unlikely. Can't imagine he would tell her if he was, for fear she might not be able to keep it to herself.

I immediately thought 'proposal' too!