To think DH's weekends away while DC are small should be limited?

[PicnicGatecrasher]

Just that really. Been away twice so far this summer with another planned. It's sport (viewing, ie getting trashed in the process) cricket etc. DC's are 3 and 1, and not the tamest of children. No family nearby. I find it tough.

Can't decide of I'm being a killjoy or if he's getting away with murder.

His defense is that it's never a full weekend, but he's useless when he comes back, and can't understand that I'm annoyed.

I don't understand the need to have so many weekends away either. Once, maybe twice a year would be a nice break but three within a couple of months seems excessive.
I very regularly look after the children all weekend by myself while he works (he works v long hours) and I never resent this. I would resent it if he wanted to spend more time getting pissed with his mates than with me and the children. Luckily, he would much rather spend time with us.

I think you should speak to him OP.

There's no bonding issue, it's not 3 weekends every 3 months, it's just concentrated in summer. And I don't disagree that as individuals we should all be able to get some space - I don't think it's necessarily healthy to have no life outside of family.
I think it's the lack of acknowledgement that's it's hard, I feel he comes back amazed that we aren't all skipping around like the waltons and he's hung over and unwilling to take the reigns. And that also he'll stop and think when he books them, thinking " this is a big ask, it has to be for something I really want" not just " cricket season -yaaaay!"

And yes, I've built up more than enough credit for weeks and weeks away.... Not that it's going to happen....

Thanks again everyone.

Id love to have a night away. We moved to the country just over 2 years ago and I long for a night out with friends, but the problem is (apart from all my friends living back in my home town in which case I could stay at my parents) that due to where we live I would have to drive and I want a drink. I want a nice meal with a few drinks. Im often invited out, but never go as DH never goes anywhere so I feel like I can't (although I know he wouldn't stop me) as it wouldn't be fair.

I see other couples have their weekends away or out and I just wish we could. As long as both parties agree to it I dont think there's a problem.

It's not about bonding it's about having so many things he prefers to do over being with you and his DC - or it would be to me. You make the point anyway. Yes for a really big game or special occasion not for any old match. Or not if it's going to put him out of action for the whole weekend anyway.

As it is about workloads for you, when is his mum going on holiday? arrange your break then

potatoprints I agree. Why do so many people 'need' nights/weekends off from their partner/DC? Me and DH have not spent one night apart in all our 12 years together, we would miss each other too much. DD is 17 now and me and DH had a night away together earlier this year, our first since our wedding night. It was very special and lovely but we did miss DD

Op I would just tell your DH to grow up, frankly, and get his priorities straight.