to ban my ds from using this shop?

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

My ds likes clothes shopping and wearing trendy clothes. There's an independent clothes shop in our local town centre which has some trendy-but-expensive items.

Ds mentioned today that he's planning to go shopping next week with a friend, and that he might buy a t-shirt from this shop.

However, the shop owner was recently caught driving when she was 5 times over the drink drive limit. What upsets me especially is that Ds and his friends were actually cycling through the village where she was caught at about that time (7pm) on that day. It makes me feel quite ill, that she could have easily hit ds, or ds' friends, or someone else.

AIBU to tell my ds he can't buy anything from this shop, as I'm damned if she should profit from flogging clothes to people she could have killed? Or should I accept it's his money, and he can spend it where he likes?

How old is he?

I think you'd be unreasonable to ban anyone from spending their own money wherever they like (unless it's on something illegal). But does he know what happened? Could you talk to him about it and explain why you won't be spending YOUR money there and maybe he will agree?

I see your point. If he's old enough to buy clothes he's old enough to hear the story, and exactly why you'll be boycotting the shop and your opinion of the owner.

It's not really something you can ban.. h's money, he's going himself.

She was caught and she'll get her just deserts.. put it out of your mind it shouldn't be making you feel ill.

It wouldn't even occur to me sorry. It isn't my job to 'sentence' people by withdrawing my children's financial independence.

I had a similar issue recently with a woman who owns a nail bar near me. I won't be going there again after I saw how she treated a little girl in her care - nothing reportable but uncaring and unkind to a little one. I've since explained to my DD why I don't go there any more - she completely accepted my reasoning.

I agree with onesleep.

I don't think you should 'ban' him, so much as tell him what she did and that you won't be shopping there anymore. Maybe he'll follow your example.

No I wouldn't ban him either. I do see why you are angry though.

If she didn't give a shit about the law and/or others, or is the type to think that the law doesn't apply to get, then I would agree.

However, I've had friends become alcoholics, all fully functioning. I know that they have driven whilst drunk.

It's been the conviction of that, that has got then help,

So for me, the judgement would be based on circumstances.

Thanks for your responses, I'll have a talk with him and leave it up to him. I don't police how he spends his allowance otherwise, it's just I feel really strongly about this.

gamer, it's the fact that she probably drove past DS whilst in that state that makes me feel queasy about him being out on the roads. He cycles everywhere, and I know that there is always a chance of drivers on the road speeding, driving under the influence, etc, but it's not been "real" iyswim. The account of how she was weaving all over the road, when DS was on that same stretch of road at exactly the same time, has made me question a bit how safe he really is.

Agree, with others let him decide.

But I boycott places for all kinds of reasons eg nearby cafe as I know the owner screwed about on his wife then left her with 2 tiny children. She was actually working in his cafe while he was screwing around. I don't find it easy to give my money to people I consider to be shits. I think my children are younger than your DS, but I can see this being something I will struggle with too.

If it's the shop I'm thinking of they do have lovely stuff but the mark up on the price is massive. I got the same dress (same maker, label etc) from the market round the corner (also not known for its cheapness) at a third of the price.