To be both mildly amused/annoyed at dp's comment re my attempts at seduction

[Mrskeats]

I think I may have turned dp into a Pavlovian dog.
I bought a nice candle (£16) which raised some eyebrows. Clearly he has never heard of Jo Malone!
Anyway I light it in the bedroom and he clearly now thinks that this is a signal that I want some action (partly true)
Last night he was in the bathroom and said did I just smell a match? It's gone eleven don't be lighting the sex candle lol.
Maybe Barry white on the iPod was too much...

I once read about someone who would keep a little bell by the bed and ring it whenever her husband climaxed. Once the Pavlovian effect kicked in she could basically choose how long to have sex for - so if she was only in the mood for a quickie a quick tinkle on the bell would sort everything out nice and fast.

I really wanted there to be a follow-up story to that about the cleaner accidentally knocking the bell off the bedside table whilst he was around, but alas heard no more about it.

lacktoastandtolerance I've heard of that being used on women too to get them to climax on command. I hear it works easier on women since they can have multiple orgasms.

Presumably most of those women subsequently moved near to churches?

Ha! Do churches still even use bells? None in our area do.

God! It sounds like the 'clicker training' people use on their dogs. (By the way, it doesn't work on cats and I've the scars to prove it)

We have sex fairy lights. Well we did till the battery ran out. Wonder why I've never got round to replacing it?!

Arf at sex candle. Have to be a feckin sex lighthouse in chez fuckery for him to get the hint.

Hahaha to sex lighthouse
He's usually pretty obliging to be fair as well as hot lol

Literally LOL at moving near churches!!!

Did you get the penis beaker ready ?

Barry White and the Sex Candle.