to hate being single?

[Confusednamechange]

Only been separated a year (10 years with EXH). I hate being single and being on my own. In the week I'm so busy it doesn't bother me but the weekends :-(. The children are going to their dad's this afternoon and I can feel the dread looming. How do you learn to love being on your own? And any suggestions what I can do by myself that's cheap-ish. I've kinda become addicted to online dating and trying to wean myself off.
Thanks x

i know what u mean op. recently divorced after 20 years and its hard getting used to it and especially when you see all happy family units around you. but i think its true about taking chance to find what u like to do. a nice swim is gd shopping etc nice food etc. but again a lot of the nice deserts etc are in packs of two so still feels weird as no one to eat it with. also know what u mean about online dating it is addictive but its tempting to think that emotional and physical closeness could be available. i guess it takes time but following thread with intetest

Glad you had a reasonably nice afternoon :)

It's okay to feel lonely and accept that. Keeping busy is only half the battle. It's easy enough to find things to do but doing them alone all the time can quickly become tedious and boring.

3 years ago I was suddenly single after being in a relationship for 15 years. The best advice I can give you is book a holiday. It forces you to just get on with being on your own, before you know it you'll find yourself enjoying being able to do as you please without having to think about anyone else and by the time it's over you'll be able to say 'hey if I can go abroad on my own, I can do anything'. I went to New York by myself 3 months after my relationship ended and I've never looked back.

It goes to show how different we all are though. I also booked a holiday and HATED it!

Random but if you like animals, try a local rescue, they usually are after people to walk dogs etc and sometimes they have big group walks which are fun. I've met loads of new people doing this
New hobby? Zumba, pole fitness, reading groups, running groups, any form of dance

Oh and join a library if you're not already a member. I love free access to books, i go to the knitting groups where the efficient elderly ladies tut over my inept attempts and sometimes I've volunteered to help with computer skills training for a couple of hours

I guess I am looking at it from 5 years down the road OP but it can get better :) I felt my life had been robbed by him leaving and all my plans had to change but it can be good eventually

Birds going out on your own isn't sad :( I do it all the time - dinner, cinema, shopping. My mum went to see the giants alone yesterday and today - you could have hooked up with her

At the minute I feel like the weekends are just something to endure. I'm pretty strapped for cash so try to keep things as cheap as possible. I'd love to book a holiday but couldn't afford it. Def decided I'm going to treat myself to a spa day next month. I'm also going to be brave and take myself somewhere for the day. It does feel wise when I'm out though as I see families everywhere. It doesn't help that ex has moved on and really enjoying his life. He's done nothing wrong in doing this but I'm so envious. He's a lovely man we just grew so far apart it wasn't working any more. I miss all the lovely things he/we did but there's no attraction or connection any more, going back is not an option.

*it does feel WORSE (not wise! )

confused do you think you are mourning the end of the relationship still, or is this part of your makeup, that you don't like your own company?

Have a think about what makes you tick and what you really want. This is your opportunity now to have an honest re evaluation of your life and goals.

I have always loved being alone and found being married quite smothering. I have also been on holiday totally alone for a week abroad which I loved so much, I go to the cinema, museums, restaurants, wherever I want on my own. Sometimes my mates get a bit cross with me asking why I didn't ask them along, but I do like to do stuff alone as well as with friends.

If you don't feel like this, there is no shame in it, we are all different, and you need to make plans to fill your life with whatever makes you happy. Do you have friends who you could do stuff with at the weekend? Just because they are married/coupled up doesn't mean they won't be up to do something fun an escape for a bit - they could be like I was, feeling all suffocated

Just think of this as a phase of your life where you concentrate on yourself and DC and get to know yourself better rather than pouring all your energy into a partner.

I hope it all feels less stressful soon.

I know what you mean, I'm single, I've had boyfriends but no LTR due to MH problems - I'm better now and really want to be in a couple.

It seems like everyone my age (37) is married with children... although if I think about it I do know of a few single people.

The problem is that my friends (married & single) don't seem to want to go out in the evening anymore - and weekend evenings are the worst time especially Saturday nights.. tv is shite and it's so boring being stuck in alone.

I could go to the gym now but nothing says 'sad and single' like being in the gym of a Saturday night!

I went on holiday with my sister to Greece recently and it was great to be with someone all the time - now I'm home I really miss the company.
I wouldn't want to go away alone - I talk to myself (well, my cat) enough as it is!

So YANBU!

I've been single for nearly two years. I BLOODY LOVE IT. Today DD is with her dad and I have spent the day in the sun, reading the paper and swimming in the Lido. Going to eat Haribo and paint my nails in a but then yoga and a book.

If you feel short of company look at the things you like to do and see if there's anything you can join locally. I don't know where you live but round here is pretty good - cake and supper clubs, stitch and bitch nights, book club and the local choir are all free.