to think if you want to piss about with your pie...

[halfpastshite]

then do it yourself.

Back story. DH has a tendency to want food a specific way when served. I.e. hamburgers. Meat, then cheese, then tomato, then this, then that...no why are you putting that on first. Etc.

Pie and chips the other night. Must cut top off pie. Put mushy peas in. Put lid back on.

Aibu to say, 'your pie piss about, your issue'. Or am I duty bound to stand around while my dinner gets cold?

Cheese rosaries :o

YANBU. People who faff around in their food presentation do it in their own time. DH does this insanely irritating thing with baked potatoes - some complex criss-crossing with a knife that takes days, then thin scrapings of butter positioned just-so; I've usually finished eating by the time he's ready to start.

at Cheese rosaries
My DH is just grateful he gets dinner - wouldn't dream of demanding such faffing otherwise he would be wearing it!

I always put my peas in my pie too.

But I do it myself, wouldn't expect anyone else to do it.

Food gets served onto the plate, anything special is up to the eater to do at the table.

Stuff that.

Shove it on the plate and leave him to it.

No way I'd be cutting up a husbands food. An adult is more than capable of sorting their own food out.

Sure toddler in high chair can chew on a carrot for two minutes while he arranges his food what's not dripping from his head anyway

I have specific needs with food.
Texturally, foods may not touch unless I introduce them. I need to see inside 'concealed' food before I eat it. May sometimes piss about getting in a loop washing salad or fruit.
I also have many, many irritating little quirks about construction, presentation (usually related to the touching thing) and all manner of fuckery.

But I'm not fussy in the technical sense (in that I'll eat most things) it'll just be at a different pace.

I tell you this useless info to try and establish my unreasonable eating credentials so when I say YANBU he is taking the proverbial, that you see quite how outrageous he is. You aren't completing the meal? He is not Egon Ronay, he is not being waited on and even if he went to Le Chein Bolleaux they would still leave him to fiddly fuck around with anything that is his preference deviating from what the chef provides. So if he could get told to hop on his bike and pay for the privilege, you my dear are being had.
However if he doesn't want to feed the baby so he can twiddle his turnips, he can cook - babies and adults require feeding, tis tiresome - so please don't feel guilt he is feeding the bairn so can't fondle his parsley correctly - you were? You were cooking his meal. No guilt, bairns need fed and look at it this way - his tea will always be cold by the time he's done so if one of you can get a hot meal why not the one who enjoys it?

I may be influenced by the fact your DH's pea in the pie thing makes me want to set him afire in horror.

By my chef thing I mean yes of course they will accommodate some requests but sending a pie or burger back for restructuring - well can you imagine the Ramsey's response?!

I have weird eating habits too, like if I have a sandwich, maybe ham and tomato, I don't have butter, marg or any kind of dressing or spread at all, and I will put the bread/softie on the plate, then the ham and tomato, all eaten separately, so not really a sandwich at all, but I do make my own food, and don't expect anyone else to faff about with it, just me and two DDs here anyway, and they don't care what I do with my food.

I don't like certain foods touching another on my plate either, and while eating, I eat everything separately, i.e. a forkful of tattie, then one of veg, then the meat, I never put them on the fork together.

I hate mushy peas, they're not really a thing here (NE Scotland) and the thought of putting them in a pie is making me feel sick!

You should just get on with eating your own meal, and let your DH faff about as much as he likes with his.

I know I'm weird and fussy with food, but I'm the one who makes it and eats it, so your DH should not expect you to be cutting his pie lid off.

Depends how he goes about asking to be honest - and if he's done any housework / helping out during the day / evening.
If he's just got in from work , cracked open a beer and sat on the sofa then sod him, he can wear the flippin pie. If however he's come home, entertained the kids for a bit then helped with the bedtime routine then maybe do it for him.

I don't think entertaining his own children or putting them to be means he can take the proverbial. If he wants his food faffed with, he should be doing it himself.

(I'm definitely going to try that particular presentation next time I have pie and peas though - but I'll do it myself)

Thanks for your responses. I'm not in the UK so have been sleeping.

He works long hours but does no housework. Ever. He did clean the house once but that was December. His friends think he shouldn't have to lift a finger when he gets home and are convinced that he dons a pinny when he walks in from work.

He makes dinner about the same as me. Will use a lot of utensils. I do all the clearing up. So dishes in dishwasher, clean high chair and floor +usually vacuum it as dc is a messy eater). I'm currently a sahm while he is the sole earner. I bring no money and feel like people +he's never said it) expect me to sort of earn my keep.

To answer question about how you get lid off pie. Put knife under the edge and gently prize it off. Last time it broke and it was ruined! Jesus has my existence become so menial that pie lids are now my specialist subject.

Oh god. I killed my own thread.
I really am that tedious.

I'm here.

I'd never to able to prize off a pastry lid without it breaking.

On a serious note, does he tell his mates that he pulls his weight at home and they reply that he shouldn't have to, have I got that right?

You haven't killed your thread. We've all been asleep here in Blighty.

Are you planning on returning to work at some point? What happens then wrt to the house and childcare?

Feeding your own child is not a bonus - it's a basic responsibility as a parent. One of the very basics.

Definitely stop the "over serving" of food. If you don't, before you know it the dc will also fall into these food patterns and you will spend every meal time faffing about to meet the very specific requirements of every individual member of the family.

Oh and his mates sound like pricks. Unless of course this is what your dh tells you...

As you in NZ halfpastshite ? Because pies are quite serious here and it may put a different slant on things.

I'm happy to do any kind of pissing about for someone feeding a toddler.

I hated feeding high hair sized DCs (DD1 was absolutely dreadful, just faffed and ate nothing).

Child eats well so is easy. It's the cleaning after that's a nightmare as it's everywhere and I do that bit. Chair and floor as well as clearing away all the dishes.

No DH didn't tell me. I have overheard one friend telling him 'he had three jobs, work; looking after our dc and looking after me'.

I told DH that when he didn't challenge these thoughts he was essentially agreeing. Also had a friend asking him about his work, then turning to me and asking how I was enjoying 'play'. Yes OK.

I think a broken pastry lid is the least of your problems tbh.

do you sugar and stir his coffee for him too??

No stirring.
Just wanted to check that pie lid debacle wasn't normal.

Christ. All I can think, is just how much he would hate being married to me!

I take it that the "friend" is not a parent.. And single?

I sugar and stir my dh's coffee mind you. Bit weird not to really.

Oh yes, your dh would hate being married to me too!

My dh does his own washing, picks up after himself, sorts out his own dinner if he is back way after we have had ours, does his share of the child care. The list could go on. But we do this because we are a team. I don't run around after him and he doesn't run around after me because we are adults who can do things for themselves.

Ignore the friends. But challenge your dh on why he doesn't say something when they make their sarcy comments. Dish up the dinners in a normal way and dh can then do what he likes with them.

Do for him what he would do for you. If you are a SAHM you are there to care for the dc not to run around after the dh. Yes, part of being a SAHM for most famiirs is running the home as a whole but pandering to silly demands over food is way over the line.

You have to feed children? I thought you just put food in front of them and ended up with a fatter dog?

Did I do it wrong?

I'm seeing a market for pies with hinges as a result of this thread though.

Where's Saggy? We need to draw up a business plan.

Ha. Yes the friends that make the comments have no children.

Pie with hinge sounds immense but don't know how that would stay unhinged after cooking?

I can't say he expects me to run around after him it just happens that I am the only person with so much free time that I can do housework. (Sarcasm obviously). He'd happily live in a mushy pea filled pie pigsty but I can't.