STBXH and I have 2 DDs together. They are 4 yo and 7 mo. He left when DD2 was 8 weeks old. Typical midlife crisis stuff; wanted to be out drinking with his mates all the time, was spectacular useless during the 2nd pregnancy while I suffered badly with HG, treating me like a domestic servant etc. After DD2 was born, I gave him the ultimatum to curb the wanting to be single attitude or leave and he chose to leave.
Since then he has found himself a girlfriend half his age (I suspect that there may have been some overlap emotionally if not physically) and has been completely useless regarding contact. He sees them for 3-4 hours a week only (at his own choice) and always keeps me hanging on til the last minute about the time he will pick them up so I can hardly ever make plans of my own. He has been very late several times and has failed to turn up completely on occasions. I have offered him extra time with them on several occasions and he sometimes agrees but never seems particularly enthralled by the idea. I have tried to be as flexible as possible so that the girls get a relationship with their dad but to be honest, I am getting thoroughly fed up of the situation and wondering if no relationship with their dad is better than this half arsed relationship that they are getting at the moment. Unfortunately DD1 thinks the sun shines out of his backside so I keep on trying to promote contact for her sake.
Last weekend, I was exhausted. DD2 was waking hourly overnight and had been for a couple of weeks. I am working full time and the lack of sleep was really taking its toll. STBXH only works 2.5 days so has plenty if spare time daily as well as evenings. When he picked the girls up, I went straight back to bed to catch up and spent the whole time they were with him fast asleep. Although it was lovely to grab some sleep, it meant I couldn't get any jobs done, or even sit down with a cup of tea for a bit. When STBXH returned the girls, I asked him if he would be able to have them again for a couple of hours the next day so I could sleep again. He replied that it was unlikely because he was going out that evening and would likely be too hungover to look after them. So obviously, his need to party overrides my exhaustion from looking after our 2 small children.
So, skip to today. It is DD1s graduation from preschool. They have a little ceremony and a BBQ afterwards. I have invited STBXH because I know that DD1 will want him there but I am feeling really resentful of the fact that he will turn up and act like dad of the year in front of all the staff and other mums and dads while in reality, he does fuck all to help out. AIBU to feel really resentful and to wonder whether I should stop inviting him to events such as these?