Do you think it's unfair to use reins on a 5 year old with ADHD?

[Bigdaddys]

Our son Jack slips our grip when holding hands at every opportunity possible. We are going on holiday in 3 weeks and are concerned that he will get lost. We have got a set of reins that I am considering using to keep him close by. His grandparents say that he is to old for reins but he needs to be kept safe. Can anyone advise us what they would do in this situation.

No no no you are so not being unreasonable, you do what you see fit. Safety first and sod the rest. If he us going to be a danger to himself, you have to!

Crelling harnesses are about £50 and come fairly quickly. Worth their weight in gold.

I think it's fine, but you might need a special one as mentioned above that will be harder to undo/ support his weight. Mine can undo those backpack ones in 30 secs!

YANBU. Safety first.

DS2 also 5 is an ASD bolter. We use one of those LittleLife animal backpacks with a lead and it's brilliant. He's happy to wear it as he knows he has a couple of his own special things in it. Your 4 year old could also have a backpack if that helped.

I have tied the backpack rein onto the loop at the top so that he can't slip it anymore (though as he gets bigger and stronger, will probably have to reevaluate).

You could try one of these www.amazon.co.uk/Clippasafe-Wrist-Link-Coloured-Product/dp/B003B37D9O/ They rae a decent length and allow a bit more freedom than the traditional reins.

It doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks. You do what you have to keep your child safe.

Sometimes, if not most times, other peoples opinions are irrelevant.

Just out with both of the kids shopping, I have brought jack a new set of reins from boots with trains on them, they are his favourite toys. He asked why he needs to wear them and I told him to keep him close to me. I have put the old set on his sister for the same reason. Both are walking happily together at the moment. Will see how the rest of the day goes and may order a crieeling set when I get home. Had some funny looks though but I don't really care. Safety first.

I will never understand why people get tutty about reins

Do it.
I don't have kids with SN but I used reins for all mine when they were little and was amazed at the amount of negativity I got from people saying they wouldn't treat a child like a dog etc.

It was purely about safety. Who knows when you might need to let go of one DC to wipe the others nose or get something out of your bag. They can't be 100% relied upon to stand still - they might chase a butterfly or instinctively run after a ball they drop. I have seen a few near misses with kids running into the road before parents even know they are moving. A 3yo was hit by a car outside school.

The number of tiny children I see trailing around behind their parents in shops and out in the street, with no reins and the parents unable even to see them all the time, and busy on their phone or texting, just shocks me. I judge them. I would not judge someone using reins on an older child as it would be obvious that they for whatever reason need to do this.

Wrist straps pull on the child's wrist to much. I think that he would be able to just take it off. At least with reins they clip at the back and are harder for him to try and take off.

Not unreasonable at all. You do what you need to!

Do what you need to do to keep your child safe, give yourself peace of mind, and have a nice holiday.

Whatever anyone else thinks is their problem - not yours.

If you are worried about people making comments etc, a wrist strap or similar might be less obvious.

I want to use them on my 3.5 NT DGC. Mum does not want me to.

That's fine. Won't be having a nice day out then...

I'm not prepared to be responsible for a child that is constantly trying to wrench their hands out of mine.

No fun at all.

Safety comes before the opinions of others. I use a walking harness on a teenager with ASD, he is taller than me and I need to keep him safe somehow. Fuck what small minded clueless people think.

I don't get the point about 'treating children like dogs' - surely wanting to keep a dog safe and stop it from hurting itself is something to be admired, not looked down on. Why would you put lesser safety measures in place for your child?!

Missunreasonable - which ones do you use on your son. I am using the boots ones at the moment but I am looking for something that will grow with him for the future.
Thanks for your comments!

DoJo
I think those who make comparisons with dogs are not thinking about the lead as something for keeping the dog safe, but as a restraint to keep other passers by safe and restrict the dogs movements. so they object to the child being tied up/restrained, ignoring the fact that it is a safety issue.

I bought these for my son who has got ASD and very prone to running off. I like the pocket at the back, he puts his toy in it or his drink. And if somebody tuts, they get my death look and they soon stop tutting

They sell them is asda or tesco, I think I paid £13.00.

if you feel hes safer with reins its up to you , you know him better than anyone else , most people wouldnt bat an eyelid at a child or adult with reins on , its obvious why they are wearing them , only a few people like to tut , stare and judge .

I may get told I have treated my child like a pet but here goes ...

when we went on holiday when dd was 2 I attached a retractable cat lead onto her harness . She would always run off so it gave her the freedom of a bigger distance away from me but I knew she was safe .

It was a little pink one though so she didn't mind !

God, I wish I'd known about MN when my ds was little (before he was diagnosed with ASD). He was a proper bolter/hider/climber/Houdini and every outing was incredibly stressful. I love that there are people on MN who understand!

As someone said upthread, those who get arsey about reins have never had a child who needed them. (I remember the well-meaning relatives who told me 'just to let him run' and that 'he'll come back when he's ready because children have their own inbuilt boundary'. I also remember the look on their faces when he ran and kept running...).

Have a lovely holiday!

I used reins with mine we all did really nobody bothered they keep children safe I used the wrist strap with dd1 she was a runner and hider sigh so I used it until she was 4ish