Horrible neighbours!

[Victoria91]

I have been living in this house for just over a year now and I have had a few run-ins with my neighbour.

At first she was nice, said hi and I would take in deliveries for her if they were delivered when she was out.

I got a hand written note through the door saying if I use her bin ever again she will report me to the council! I was shocked because I have never used her bin or anyone else's for that matter. I wrote a letter back saying I hadn't been using her bin and left it at that.

We then got a dog who is very greedy around food so have to put him in the kitchen at dinner times and he whines very loud because he knows we are eating and wants through but is not an option with my dd only being 1 and can't tell him to go away or push him away from her food.

I had the RSPCA at my door saying they had a compliant from a neighbour (guess who) saying it sounded like he was being beaten! I have never beat my dog and I never would. I don't agree with it at all. They checked him over and said he was perfectly healthy and nothing to worry about.

Since then I have been very uneasy about having her as a neighbour. She looks in my kitchen window as if looking for something. The first I knew about it my friend had seen her peering into my kitchen and she scurried off in a hurry. I caught her at it mused land asked her if I could help her and she shot off!

Should I report her to the council or should I just leave it alone?

what would you say to the council she hasn't done anything wrong looking out of her window is allowed even reporting you to the rspca is allowed ive had it off neighbours before and if you start reporting back it escalates we ended up moving not them i was gutted i had lived there for 8 years i had friends and family there but i had to move it got to the point where they rang the council to complain my dh had blocked them on facebook! and we got the police every week then there were the social services calls accusations of the baby crying (he was in nicu in a hospital 20 miles away how could they tell he was crying)

put up a few nets and train your dog she will get bored and find another target

I don't think the neighbour is looking out of her own window.

I think she's looking in through the OP's window.

Keep the notes she sends you and make notes of anything else, with dates and times.

If she keeps on writing to you, reporting you or spying through your window then you will need proof if you want to report her for harassment.

hmmm put spiky planting along your window stop her from getting close or crunchy gravel

I would try and keep a log of her behaviour, if you catch her looking through your windows document and try and photograph. That is harassment and should not be tolerated.

Do you have a camcorder you can set up in your kitchen to keep a check?

Thank you for your replies. I am living in a flat so it is not an option to but gravel it fencing around the window.

It makes me very uneasy about her looking in the window and only makes me wonder if she does it when I am not there and what else does she do?

The dog really isn't an issue because he is quieter now and he doesn't bother any of the other neighbours.

I will keep a log of everything she does such as looking in my window, notes and such.

She is a very strange woman and when she sees my dd she gives her a horrible look! I can't stand people who look down their noses at children and I would never do it to someone else or give a horrible look to a child.

Sounds mentally ill but that's not your responsibility. She won't get help if no one documents her problems, either.
I think keeping log is only way to go.

Some weird neighbour harasses someone and they're immediately deemed to be 'mentally ill'? Thanks for that, Doctor.

I thought we weren't supposed to stigmatise mental illness any more since most of us will suffer from it at some point in our lifetime? So why any shame in calling something for what it probably is? Doesn't mean we have to treat it as a new normal, either.

While the neighbour does sound pretty unpleasant and bored out of her wits with nothing to do, I am not sure how you can go about reporting this to the council. Firstly, even if you have evidence that she was the one, who reported you to RSPCA, she could easily explain this by saying she had a genuine concern for your dog even if she was mistaken. Secondly, if you mention the letter about her bin, she could also say she was mistaken in thinking it was you. Finally, if you accuse her of looking into your windows, she can easily deny this and, as bad as it sounds, you may end up looking like a nutter with nothing to do instead.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do at the moment without gathering some sort of proper evidence to support the view that she is in some way harassing or otherwise bothering you. As previously suggested, perhaps, get others neighbours' views on living next door to this person and maybe even their support.

I know it's hard to ignore but I don't see what else can be done at present. Would something like net curtains or blinds in the kitchen help you not to feel so overlooked in the meantime? Or perhaps planting a tree or a tall shrub opposite?

Not stigmatise it? What, you mean by immediately declaring those behaving badly to be mentally ill? Yes, that's going to help for sure.

UncleT exactly.

I hate that on here acting badly immediately means mentally ill/special needs. Some people are just a bit off you know!

I don't think her actions can be pinned on mental health issues. I think she is just being extremely nosy and she goes out of her way to look into my window.

I am going to keep a log of things she does when I am there and just raise the concern to the council, they may not be able to do anything about it but she may stop if they send out a letter telling her I have mentioned it to them.

A couple of people have noticed her looking into my window and stopping outside my front door when I am not there but she had never knocked or not when I have been in at least.

Thank you all for your replies :D it is much appreciated

Put some nets or blinds up and perhaps keep a log of her behaviour. If she can't nosy in she'll hopefully get bored and bog off and find something else to do.

I was glad when my previous next door bitch moved away and took her kids, Husband, Dog and Shitty arsed cats with her. Good bloody riddance!

Bad neighbours can make you ill.