to be shocked by primary school aged childrens´ facebook pages?

[BocaDeTrucha]

Something at work the other day prompted me to look up a pupil from an old class of mine (I´m a teacher) on Facebook and this led me onto profiles for almost every child in the class. We are talking here about children in Year 5 at primary school, so 9-10 year olds. Firstly, I was amazed that all their pages were open to the public so I could see all their posts and secondly, the content and photos really bothered me. Yes, I know it´s none of my business, but, the bottom line is just how much I realised children aren´t children any more.

Several of the boys had the typical selfie shot taken in the bathroom mirror, no shirt on, and flexing their (non-existant) muscles. 9-year old boys!!!!! If it wasn´t so sad, it would be almost funny. Then there were photos of the boys in the pub, arms round each other, standing infront of the bar as though they were 18 years old down the pub on a Friday night. They are just kids, but living their lives like they are adults. What worries me more than anything is how their parents haven´t intervened to, at the very least, make their profiles private. It just seems such an easy way of making them so vulnerable. AIBU and is this just something that we need to accept amongst young children these days?

Sharon, how on earth could Boca be in trouble? She's not sending friends requests, the student is an ex-student and the info she was looking for is in the public domain.
It's not creepy or worrying to wonder what has happened to a child you put time and effort and care into who then suddenly vanishes from the radar.
Boca, you are right. Many children have no idea what is appropriate online, or how to protect themselves or even how to restrict access to their FB page. Many parents can't be arsed, or are ignorant themselves, so that's where schools need to be very proactive in their IT/PSHCE sessions.

Sorry that should have read, your Y5's parents aren't

I thought the minimum age for FB was 13 or 14?

Who cares if they want to play FB games because they've got an iPad, they can't. Waiting until they're old enough won't kill them.

Tbh, I think Fb has had its day. That said, I've never understood social networking or its attraction for kids.

I'm shocked, though, at the amount of kids who have had accounts from a very early age, despite the minimum age rule of 13. (is that right?)

What strikes me a ironic is the number of kids with facebook whose parents are otherwise very protective. These kids have very little freedom in RL but are allowed to run amok on fb!

If anything 13 year olds are far more likely to abuse Facebook than 11 year olds! And also, they don't magically develop maturity, internet awareness and commonsense at midnight when they turn 13!

Kids always mimic adults and teens. It's what they do. I wouldn't worry about the selfies. Chances are they'll cringe when they're older. :)

I would be worrying about the fact that their parents aren't setting the privacy settings to private, and then monitoring their child's account. These idiots don't understand the internet or website that their children are a part of, and they're letting them run wild on them. It's lazy parenting. You can become a member of a site a child is a part of to see what it's all about and learn the ins and outs.

Very few of dd's y7 friends have FB. FB is what their parents use.

They all have Instagram.

I have allowed dd to have Instagram. She got an account on starting secondary last summer. Pretty much every one of her friends and school mates has one.

I've taught dd about online safety since she was small. She herself has planned and taught several e safety lessons to younger children. I am happy with her privacy settings and she knows what to do if things go wrong. She also knows that whatever goes online is there for ever even if she deletes it. She also has to actually know her Instagram friends and have met them. I can't do more than that really - I think education is the most important thing.

Oh and ive told her no pouts! If nothing else it makes them look ridiculous!

I also have full access to her phone and all accounts and email. She knows this and is happy for me to see. I also now have an Instagram account and I'm friends with her, though I don't really use it tbh.

I trust dd to do the right thing. To ban her from Instagram wouldn't be the right thing for me and her - it would definitely isolate her from her friends as it really is the way they all communicate, especially in the holidays.

But FB - none of them use it here anymore.

I do think y5 is too young though. End of y6 going into y7 is soon enough for my liking.

The age 13y is a legal thing in the US about data sharing/protection for children. If they accept under 13s they legally have to put various other safety measures in place such as on sites like Club Penguin - which is aimed at younger children.

Of course they don't, numpties, but there has to be an age limit cut-off somewhere.

hibiscus, I see your point about them simply not posting normal kids stuff like climbing trees etc on fb as that would be so uncool. I guess what I mean is that with fb they are so keen to emulate their elder peers/parents etc but in such a public and risky way. I did think also that they seem to want to copy the worst of it (the pouty selfie, bragging, threatening, accusing etc).... Not all of them of course. But then that's just like we used to emulate our peers with smoking etc. I think I just worry how visible it all is.

I love the idea about looking at all their profiles and sharing with the class though....

Slightly off subject but just wondering if, as a pp said, people appear as "people you may know" if you look at their profiles. I have had a few people I know vaguely appear on my list and had no idea how Facebook linked us. They may, of course, be friends of friends friends!!

what baffles me is the disparity between some parents allowing them FB accounts in Y5 while at the same time bleating on that they are too young for sex ed and don't need to know all that stuff yet.

How do you explain to kids about the dangers of grooming etc and protecting privacy, not arranging to meet people you meet online, people not always telling the truth, when they don't even understand the basics.

The other sad thing is that by allowing kids FB etc, in some cases, you are letting the school bullies right into your DCs bedroom !

I also don't buy "my 13 yo needs privacy, I trust them so I am not their FB friend/don't check their email/texts". It's just the same as keeping tabs on where they go and who with and what time they will be back - any parent NOT checking what sites/convos their children are involved in online is IMO neglectful. Even if your child can be trusted - can all their friends and acquaintances be trusted not to post inappropriate stuff?

Jinty64, I am 99% sure that's a myth. A friend tried to tell me that when I kept looking at the FB page of someone I have absolutely no mutual friends with, so I did some investigating. Apparently FB will only ever recommend friends of friends, so don't worry - they're not stalking you!

I'm not sure.... I do sometimes look at random people I know on fb... Does this mean I show up on their 'people you might know' list? Usually they are friends of friends so it might look like that's why you are listed but I'm not sure. Need to check that out... I'm not bothered about the kids at school seeing me, it's more other people.

I'll go with your reassurance Koala. Thanks.

I will not accept friends requests from friends children and my setting is to friends only. I don't want young children seeing my page. It's not appropriate.

My dds (y4 and 5) will not be having a facebook page any time before their 14th birthdays. Dd1 tried to set up a youtube account last year, but that was nipped straight in the bud. She only wanted to make Minecraft vids etc. but she'll have to wait until she's older.

There have been local children (mid teenage, but it seems to be getting younger) who have committed suicide over online bullying. Dd1's class have had multiple issues this year with things going on on an iPod messaging service, including swearing, name calling and worse.

The problem is that new apps/services are appearing and developing so fast that, by the time parents cotton on, damage is often already done. It's all very well giving the kids online safety lessons, but I think parents are even more in need of them.

My eldest ds is 12, there's no way I'd let him have a FB account yet, I simply don't see the need and he fortunately hasn't shown any interest in doing so yet. My 13 year old dsd has one and is always posting numerous selfies in which she is posing, pouting etc. which is bizarre because it really doesn't reflect the person she is when she's at home with the family, she still seems child like. I think there's a lot of pressure on girls by their peers to take so much interest in their looks and appearance and I don't think most of them really understand what it all means, they are very naive which makes it all the more worrying.

Oh, that's good. I just wondered as one person on my list was the head teacher at ds's school! I assumed she was trying to work out how a mother like me had produced an amazing child like him but its more likely that she is a friend of a friend.

That's it Atos' it doesn't reflect how they really are and they just refuse to see how pouting and posing to make them look older is such a dangerous thing to do online.

chilly, I don't mean I accept friend requests from children because I don't, but I mean I don't care if the kids are my name show up as someone they might know.

My friends 6yo dd has Facebook. She's had it for about 6 months. My friend says it's because they moved overseas so she can keep in touch with family and also to play games. Says she monitors it daily.
However, I can see from her friends list that she is friends with loads of people she doesn't know. Her mums school friends for example? I accepted her request as I know her pretty well but she is on my restricted list.
The thing is, you can 'monitor' it all you want but that child will still see things that friends have liked and commented on. Pornography, animal and child cruelty videos, explicit language etc.
Wtf does monitoring somebody's Facebook involve anyway?

Daddypigsgusset, exactly - there is no way to 'monitor' FB so closely (unless you're literally looking over the child's shoulder the entire time they're on it) that they can't see some very inappropriate things. And a 6-year-old?! Your friend is mad.

this thread is a good example of how the same situation can attract contradictory views on Mumsnet.
There was a similar thread not long qgo and most posters thought Facebook was fine if parents monitored it and most of the posters on that thread had under 13's on it!

As a governor of a "good" secondary school, well over 50% of time that staff spend dealing with behaviour and bullying is directly linked to year 7 and 8 students using Facebook before they're old enough to understand the full implications.

I heard a great example recently of a head of year conducting an entire assembly using information and photos he obtained from students' FB accounts, freely available to anyone who cared to look. Obviously, he was mindful of what could be sensitive, but it was enough to at least get most of them to revisit their privacy settings!

Neither of my DC are allowed FB or instagram before they are 13, as per the terms of service. And they are only allowed ipads, phones etc on the understanding that I look through them sometimes. My rule is that they don't say / post on line anything that they wouldn't share if knew a parent was included in the conversation.