To be pissed of that I'll be worse of working!

[Chloe01mum]

Just venting really as I know loads of people will be in the same position but I'm so fed up tonight.

Just moved house to a new country and don't know anyone, I have the chance to start work practically next door to my house with a nursery on site for two young dc.

Have just worked out online that I will lose what little tax credits we get and get no help towards childcare as dh is on a good wage (just above national average not mega bucks) job I'm applying for is just above minimum wage so for my elder daughters funded hours I will be making a few pound a hour but for the other hours that she is not funded I have to pay full price for both dc so might actually end up paying to work.

Torn between thinking that at least I would be out the house (finding it really difficult being stuck with only dc's company-sorry dc I love you but by god are you hard work!) but also realising that even when elder dc goes to school next year I will still be working for buttons for another two years till younger dc goes to school.

Anyone have any words of advice on what you might do in this situation? It's look like it's a "career" that I'm better at keeping my hand in at, it's just a normal job that I love but surely it will be a bit soul destroying working for nothing (a bit like what I'm doing just now as a sahm )

I think you're supposed to look at it more long term.. kids grow up and childcare will be less etc. Not much help in the meantime I know though.

Try looking at the costs as part of your overall household budget not just your own salary, childcare enables both of you to work. It might not seem like it now but those pre-school years fly by and the costs come down and you're still employed. Working has other benefits too, outside interests, adult company etc.

I've not looked into childcare vouchers yet so that might save us a little on childcare.

I was in a similar position when I had my second child, but looked at it as 'short term pain, long term gain'.

Friends of mine that didn't work while their children were young found it very difficult to return to work and not just because of a lack of recent experience;more because their self confidence was v low after staying at home for so long.

OP do you know if the company is part of te childcare voucher scheme? If so that might mean you 'break even' as oppose to paying more in childcare than you earn.

But also, childcare shouldnt all come from your income. It should be split between you and DH so only half of it will be coming from your wage which will mean it wont be costing you more to work than you earn. Also ask your DH to check if his employer does the vouchers aswell.

It won't be working for "nothing". Apart from not being better off financially you'll be much better off in many other respects and so will your children.

Ah xpost. Definitely see about the vouchers.

This is partly why I became a sahm after dc2... But look at it another way, each year, the costs will drop and you'll make some profit, not much, but after 1 year, a profit. If the nursery is like the one I had dc1 in, each year the price drops. So when you have dc1 at school and dc2 on funded hours, it should be a decent amount.

(Have you also cost up dc1's before and after school and holiday care costs along with looking if it's practical? You don't want to make a loss for a year, holding out for dc1 going to school just to find it's still a loss)

If you are in the UK you will be paying tax, NI contributions and personal/occupational pension contributions. All good things.

If you think it will benefit you in the future to be gaining this experience, then it is more than worth it. Will you get another opportunity like this again? Is it a job you can progress in? Will it keep you sane??

Friends of mine that didn't work while their children were young found it very difficult to return to work and not just because of a lack of recent experience;more because their self confidence was v low after staying at home for so long.

This is the situation i am in now. I took 4 years out of work when ds2 was born and i'm now facing retraining or crappy low paid jobs.

I understand, this is such a rubbish situation but one which is very common. With the added attitudes towards people who don't work this is an awful situation to be in. I would be in this situation if my mum wasn't around to do the majority of the childcare, even the bit I pay really hits our budget hard and we earn just above the limit for tax credits. It's crap.

You do need to look at this long term, once your DC are at school you will have experience in a field you like and you won't have to suffer explaining to potential employers any gaps in your employment. I'd do it, especially if the days in with your DC are draining (and absolutely nothing wrong with this, it's definitely one of my reasons for working). Give it a go, if it really works out as bad as you think then you could go back to waiting until you don't have to struggle with paying childcare.

If you hate your job then this situation will not be good for you, but if you ultimately enjoy your new job then that makes it easier to do.

If your working you are never worse off to me. I carried on working in a minimum wage job and have been promoted twice and have got on to a really competitive masters. If I had quit I would be nothing right now.

All our money is family money we don't separate anything so when I say I will be working for nothing I mean overall the family won't have anything extra not just me iykwim.

The position will hopefully (fingers crossed) be term time only so I suppose that alone is a good reason to go for it since jobs with these hours are very rare.

I'm not sure if I would still have to pay childcare during the holidays though as the nursery is separate to where I would work.

I suppose I still have a lot of info to get before thinking about turning it down but i was so downhearted when i realised exactly how much childcare costs

yes, well, I took 5 yrs off.

Never got back to the kind of job I and before, never got back into a full time job even.

Long term: keeping the job is better, IMO. short term it sucks.

Not to be stroppy, but I've read a few times on here the argument that your DH should pay half the childcare too so it's not going to cost more than you earn, but if as a couple you pool your resources, then if the amount extra added to the pot by the samp starting working is less than the amount the pot drops by for childcare costs to make that possible, then it's the same thing.

That argument only works if you are one of the few couples who keep their finances completely separate, paying 50% of the bills each like housemates, rather than as a couple who view income as a shared resource.

We were getting free childcare thanks to my mum but her circumstances have changed so when my maternity leave ends in January we'll have to pay for childcare. For three full days a week, 7am to 7pm, for three children (one in full time school, one doing half days at pre-school/nursery, and one baby) we'd be looking at just short of £1000 a month. I nearly fainted! And when we made enquiries with local childminders and nurseries there is not a single one with availability for all three children. The baby can go to the nursery next to where I work but it's £45 a day so his childcare alone would be £135 a week. There's a childminder locally who can take my 4yo before/after school and do his school run but she can't take DD at all. There's another childminder who can take them both and can drop DD at preschool but can't pick her up. There's another who can take them both and drop them off/pick them up but only one day a week. There's one who can have them both, on the required days, and can do all their school runs, etc but she wants paying full price 7am to 7pm for the Monday to Friday even though I only work three days "to hold their places open" (You can fuck the fuck off, was my thoughts on that one! )

Basically it's a financial and logistical nightmare.

So I've trained as a childminder during my maternity leave, I figured I'd cut out the middle man and get paid for the privilege!

I'm slightly better off financially not working. But I feel better working. Sometimes it is a real physical struggle to work, and I don't have a permanent job, but I certainly feel better.

I also think an employer will look more favorably on someone who has worked while their children are young than someone who has taken 5 years off.

I know it shouldn't be seen that way, I know a lot of transferable skills are developed by SAHP I still think many employers look at the fact you got out of bed and got to work as important too.

It cost me £17 a week to go to work for 11 months after I went back from second mat leave and dc1 starting school. When I found out the office was moving and I'd have to pay for parking I burst into tears.

But dc1 been at school for a year now, dc2 gets her early years funding in January and DH and I have both had a bit of a payrise. Childcare costs will only go down now, and salary should only go up. And I still have a job in an established niche career, which I enjoy. I find being at uevwith the dc for more than a few days stultifying and frustrating.

OP term time hours in a job you love with onsite nursery and next door to home? I would bite their arm off. I really would and just tighten the purse strings a bit for those first few years. It really is a great offer.

I think seeing it as part of your household, not just your wage is best. We're in a similar position, but the other way round - nursery costs are getting on for covering my husband's wage, but it would be silly for him to give up work right now - he's working on building up his career. We don't talk about nursery costs as being equivalent to his wages, we just cover them together.

I know the end total eorks out the same, that's obvious, but it is a state of m

mind difference, viewing it as a household expense rather than all your pay going on childcare.

As someone stuck as a long term SAHM, I'd suck it up if you can. If it means getting experience that will lead to a better paid job in the future!

If your not going to earn any more once the DCs are at school, it becomes a more difficult question.

After school and holiday care can be stupidly expensive, hard to get and silly short hours.

I've know women who end up giving up work when their DCs start school. It can be that silly. It certainly was here (school got child care, holiday club the summer DD2, left!)

Yanbu but some good advice here

I'm looking for work too but my confidence is rock bottom as I haven't worked much since I had my first dc 8 years ago

Am thinking of training as a childminder