To be nervous about Social Worker home visit..

[ConfusionAndDelay]

We have a social worker visiting tomorrow. My step daughter has made an allegation of assault against her mother and Child Services have opened a case alongside the Police
Investigation. Social Worker sounds nice on the phone and has arranged to pop in for a chat and to meet step daughter and all of our family at home tomorrow.

I am so nervous and worried about being judged in some way. I don't really have anything to worry about, our house is "lived in" but clean and usually quite tidy, kids are all well cared for, well fed and happy. I also know she isn't coming to us for any accusations made about us.

AIBU to worry that this very lovely sounding lady is coming tomorrow just because she is a Social Worker?

Thank you all! I have cleaned and tidied today (I do the basics every day anyway) but given it the little extra bit I do if we are due to have visitors. It's clean and tidy and I'm happy with that.

The loos are cleaned twice a day (boys!)

Step daughter's mums house is pristine. Always has been. Spotless and not a thing out of place. Just her there half the time though so understandable. Too tidy for me I think, is feel awkward getting comfy and putting a drink on the table :)

Social worker specifically said to DH that she wanted to
Chat to step daughter and see her room! Is that normal?

Totally normal to see the child's room so don't worry, they'll want to speak to Dsd alone too which is just process.

Sounds like you do a fine job better than my house!

And for the record - yes some teenagers have spotless rooms and I clean more when the HV comes and was worried when she declined a cuppa!

Heya, just my twopence here. I have a social worker working with me. I had a mental breakdown a couple years back and my dc went into temp voluntary foster care for 3 weeks while I got myself back together.

Scare the crap out of me, but social workers are normally lovely people. They just want to help and unless you're posing a danger or are unable to look after to your child the WILL NOT have a problem with you. They care about both the children and adults - my social worker is just there to give me a little extra support and has constantly reminded me she has no concerns about my children's well being.

But no, yanbu. I still worry when I get a call saying she is going to pop in for a catch up. Cue frantic clear up of anything that's remotely out of place and be told off afterwards by her for worrying so much! They expect to see kids toys about, it shows that the children are allowed to be children.

So don't worry please, I'm sure everything will be fine :) and I hope your daughter is ok

Well I worked for nothing! :) She came this afternoon and was lovely and she didn't snatch our kids! In fact she spoke to us, took step daughter upstairs for a private chat and to see her room but she didn't go in the bathroom or look in the fridge or even in the kitchen!

She's said she has no concerns with our parenting but is considered about the emotional welfare of step daughter who told her again that her mum had hit her hard and she said it happens often!

Fab, I'm pleased not smug at all!!

Did she talk about Residence order? May be worth considering.

At least you have a clean house

Bump. Already got a Court Order which is shared residency but it seems from what she is saying the Social worker is going to recommend in her report that shared residency is damaging for step daughter. She's confused and upset and it's emotionally draining on her. Given the circumstances I hope that means she'll be with us more.

Obviously he'd have to apply back to Court at a later stage to get a new Residency Order.

Pop over to the adoption board if you want to hear stories of SW home visits... (YANBU BTW, it's horrid having SW over!)

I hope she does end up with you, it sounds as if she would do much better there.

I am a social worker and I would be scared of a SW home visit. It's about the power imbalance; it can be very scary to think there is someone coming into your home who has the power to make recommendations about your parenting and your child - even if you know your child is safe and well cared for. I know how hard it is to remove children, and I would still be worried. It's natural I think.

I think because I am acutely aware of how scary it is for people, I always try to factor that in, ie being sensitive to the parent, being clear about why I'm there etc. SW should answer your questions, so never be afraid to ask, and get them to clarify any jargon they use!