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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to have a choice of materials

35 replies

tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 16:13

Hi all,

New topic from me. We recently bought a house with no garage, so are having one built at the moment. The builder we are using is also building another house next door. He seems to want to utilise all the same materials that he is using for the house next door, which don't match our house. The discussion started with the colour of brick, which was drastically different from the colour of our brick. Finally, after a lengthy debate, we reached an agreement on the colour. Now, he started an argument with me about other finishing touches. All fascia boards on our house are dark brown. The house he is building next door has white fascia and soffits that are made of shiny low maintenance UPVC that can't really be painted dark brown later on. The builder keeps saying that I can't expect to have our house matched because it's not being built at the same time at the garage.

I don't want to be unreasonable but given the fact that choices do exist, am I really that mad to expect that some discussion should take place before the builder goes ahead and orders a bunch of materials, which we are paying for?

I don't expect to give my 2 pence worth with regards to the tools he is using or the techniques utilised for construction but I'd like some input into finishing touches, location of plugs and things like that.

I appreciate that it is less costly for the builder to use the same materials as the ones he is using on the house next door but that's not what we signed up for so to speak. We only have one house and we live in it. Am I really that crazy to expect to have some say in what is being built and how it's going to be finished?

Thanks. The builder certainly seems pretty cheesed off. I am sure he would probably throw me in his cement mixer if he could :D

OP posts:
eosmum · 22/07/2014 16:20

Get a new builder.

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/07/2014 16:25

Agree with eosmum. New builder. He's using you. Absolutely taking the piss.

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/07/2014 16:25

Agree with eosmum. New builder. He's using you. Absolutely taking the piss.

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/07/2014 16:27

Agree so much I said it twice. Oops Blush

321zerobaby · 22/07/2014 16:30

Of course you can expect it to match your house, not your next door neighbours! He is taking the piss.

Noodledoodledoo · 22/07/2014 16:31

He is probably getting a good deal on the materials which is not being passed on to you.

I agree new builder or insist he uses what you want.

minibmw2010 · 22/07/2014 16:32

So basically he wants to use his excess materials, regardless of whether they seem to be what you want ?? No. He's hired by you, it's up to him to do what you ask. Insist you want to see receipts for what he's bought so he isn't charging you both for same materials !!!

PorkPieandPickle · 22/07/2014 16:32

Yup, agree, he's taking the piss

ComeHeather · 22/07/2014 16:32

agree with everyone else. get new builder. He has got spare materials and is looking to off load them onto you. He's ripping you off. (have had loads of building work done over the years on several properties...This is piss taking par excellence. )

askyfullofstars · 22/07/2014 16:33

Did you need planning permission for your garage? Sometimes materials are a condition on decisions and so you have to use what you applied for (they are conditioned here maybe not everywhere).

So maybe check and if it is, then tell him he has to use what is specified.

But I would get another builder, he is massively taking the piss.

jackstini · 22/07/2014 16:40

The materials should all have been specified in the quote.
Make sure he does not charge you extra.

He is batshit crazy though to think you want your garage to match your neighbours house and not your own!! Confused

Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 16:52

I've just told him I expect to match my own house, not my neighbours and he said "don't be pathetic". I am not quite sure how I am meant to respond to that in general but I asked him not to call me names or speak to me in that tone and I told him that I don't think he would find a customer, who would expect to pay for what essentially is a piece of bespoke work and not to have any choice in the matter! Is it really that pathetic?

OP posts:
Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 16:53

askyfullofstars, we do have a planning permission and the planning said we need to match our house as closely as possible. There are no other specific conditions.

OP posts:
splendidpup · 22/07/2014 16:57

New builder.

Builders' merchants have brick libraries (yes, really) so they can match as closely as possible to existing brickwork. There's no need at all to have different ones. All the finishing should be matched as closely as possible, too. He's bullshitting you, and being quite rude.

growinggoldwithcustard · 22/07/2014 16:59

he said "don't be pathetic".

Time for your big girl pants OP. He is taking the piss. Sack him. I hope you haven't paid all the money up front for the work. Sad

Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 17:13

Unfortunately, I can't get a new builder now. The work is already in progress: most of the walls have been built. Also, we have struggled to find a builder as most of them seem to be really busy at this time of year, so it would be challenging for us to sack this one now and reach amicable agreement as to what we would pay for the work he has already done.

But I am glad to see I am not the only one who thinks he is the one who is being unreasonable.

I am seeing him on Friday and although generally I hate confrontation, I am afraid I will need to find some strength to insist on what I want rather than having our garage matched to the neighbour's house!

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 22/07/2014 17:13

What is the finance situation?

If you haven't paid him, sack him and tell him not to be so pathetic.

Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 17:16

FunkyBoldRibena, the agreement is that we pay in 3 installments. So far, we've not paid anything yet but the first installment is due imminently.

OP posts:
whois · 22/07/2014 17:21

You don't want anyone who tells you to 'stop being pathetic' to build your garage, he's clearly low life scum hoping to fob off his excess materials and rip you off.

DannyShouldHaveChosenRizzo · 22/07/2014 17:25

Why pay for something that will look terrible and not match your house and be built by a rude builder rather than wait for a good builder who would build what you want?

DirtyDancing · 22/07/2014 17:25

So it's your house, your garage and your decision how the hell it's built. He's being a complete dick, and I'm sorry OP but you're being really weak about this- you know he's being VVVUR indeed. Tell him what you want exactly. Do not bend. Otherwise you're going to have a pretty shit looking garage on the side of your house, and which if/ when you ever come to sell your house may well put oFf buyers or even devalue it.

Have to say though you are both UR for not agreeing all of this in advance and getting it put in writing. School girl error!

Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 17:26

Sorry, I meant 4 installments, not 3. Just looked at the paperwork!

whois, TBH I was absolutely appalled that he said that to me. And I feel really glad to see that I am not the mad and unreasonable one here. It's not a cheap piece of work and we have taken a bigger mortgage to allow for this to happen, so if it is pathetic to expect a garage to match our house, then so be it but I don't want a garage that matches my neighbour's house that, by the way, already doesn't match anything on our street because the builder simply bought a piece of available land and is building using materials that he considers to be a match. He doesn't care what it looks like because he isn't going to live there but we live in our house and would like the garage to match!

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 22/07/2014 17:29

You are in the position of strength. He needs you more than you need him. I'd be outlining your decision to match your property & that you do not expect to be spoken to with anything less than respect.

Original poster
tiggerkid · 22/07/2014 17:30

DirtyDancing, we do have everything on paper, which I have just pointed out to him. It clearly says "materials to match existing house". I also said that he will not find another customer, who will be happy not to have any say in a similar matter!

Danny, I had no idea we would get involved in this kind of argument when we were agreeing to it. The builder's contractors are good guys. I can't fault the quality of work. We are arguing about the choice of materials and I had no idea he was rude when we were signing up for this because obviously he wasn't being rude then!

OP posts:
DirtyDancing · 22/07/2014 17:39

In which case well done & I would litteraly tell him tools down until this is sorted. If it means waiting 6 months for another builder then so be it. Confrontation is horrible, but I would tell him you want him to stop work & come for a meeting. Calmly, but firmly tell him you want it in the agreed material. Tell him if he can't or won't comply then he's breaking the agreement and you will not continue the work and withhold payment, He'll want his money for sure so should soon come round!

I hate to say this but in my experience some (not all, but some) male tradesmen hate being confronted by women. It puts their backs up for some reason. Do you have a DH or partner to be there with you to hold the line?

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