To get really pissed off when people hog a conversation or talk over me?

[BigBadJane]

My brother knows my thoughts on this and after an incident when he totally domnated the conversation about his specialist job when I had some friends round and invited him as well, he wouldn't dare do it again once I let him know how displeased I was with him. Neither I or my guests share this career and I thought he was totally rude and told him so the next morning. He apologised and has never done it again, so fair enough - as far as I am concerned it is over and done with now.

I am seriously considering giving up the book club I love because there are one or two people who will not give anyone else the chance to give their opinion. That's not just me - the lady who runs it has spoken to one woman in private and then in public when she wouldn't take it on board - she just does not see how rude she is.

What is it with a neighbour who nevers asks how I am when I say hello, but launches into a non-stop monologue on her health issues, and her family.

I've distanced myself from two or three people over the years because they haven't the social skills to have a two way conversation, and talk over me, interupt me and aren't interested in anything other than themselves. I don't think real friends do that.

I've just had a lady ask on FB what she has done wrong, as I constantly ignore her FB messages and never want to see her. I had a few friends round at the weekend and didn't invite her for the very reason that she is a loud, conversation hog. She found out I'd left her out and was very hurt and wanted to why.

I said I'd ring her and explain on one condition - she shut up and let me speak or I'd hang up. I've just told her what I said in the previous paragraph and just about managed to get through what I wanted to say before she started up with denials, and have just hung up because she won't let me speak.

I HATE these people... how does everyone else deal with these twats?

I actually get this via texts and facebook messages as well. On FB you can see when the person has read it, but the don't bother to answer (because it does generally require an answer if I message someone). Its fucking rude! As is not answering texts. Its like they aren't bothering to talk to me at all then.

Bi polar? And you'd know this exactly how, are you a doctor, psychiatrist mh professional?

I don't think the OP is coming across as the least bit scary. She sounds nice and perfectly rational and has just had enough of the conversation hogging drama llama 'everything's about me' brigade, who really are seriously irritating.

Apologies,I see she told you.

Maybe you should develop a little more patience and make allowances for folk anyway. I have AS, means that I can rattle on at times. I'm not going to tell everyone at a bookclub that, though. None of their business.

OP, I want to be your friend! You sound great!!

I often come across people that just talk constantly, but I've found the only way to deal with them is to a) keep a distance from them, and b) have boundaries in place for when you do see them. In my experience they are all so self-absorbed that even if someone tells them that they are hogging the conversation and being rude, they take no notice and just carry on. Plus it doesn't help when some people hang on their every word.

There is a woman who is like that in a group of friends that I spend time with for nights out and lunches. I also see her on the school run. She will just start talking about herself as soon as she sees me, never asks how I am, and just basically moans all the time about mundane things that are no bother for normal people but that are an enormous drama for her.

I have started to just ignore her now when she starts talking about herself, and to change the subject. It's actually quite amusing seeing the annoyance on her face when she twigs that I'm changing the subject, but she can't really call me on it as I'm not doing anything wrong as such. I also limit time I spend with her, and I refuse now to give her endless sympathy.

My SIL is also like it a bit;she is very much a "poor me" type of person and moans and whinges, and turns everything back to her, without ever asking after any of us. I do the subject changing thing with her now. If she has no interest in DH, the kids or I, then I just won't show any interest back.

You're right CrapBag I was just feeling pissed off and needed to vent!!!

When I called her I said that I get very annoyed by her interupting me and talking over me non-stop. I took her as my guest to a dinner club meeting in a restaurant last year where she totally dominated the conversation to the point of being very rude. The host did comment on this to me later so I know I was not the only person who thought like this and simply haven't invited her to go with me again.

Re the Bookclub: The host does ask people what they think, but they can't give their opinion without being interupted by this person... so rude!

At the bookclub, if several of you are noticing the behaviour, can't you all just come up with a plan of how to deal with the woman? For example, if she speaks over any of you, you could all ignore her and prompt the person who was originally talking to carry on talking. And you could all come up with a standard phrase to say to her if she interrupts you "I haven't finished what I was saying yet". Say it firmly and with a smile.

Basically treat her like a child!

I think that person should be asked to leave the book club. She's been told twice that her behaviour is annoying the other members and she's ignored it and just carried on with her rude interrupting. I think she's had her chances and should now be shown the door.

I don't think you sound scary at all. You just summed up in 5-6 parapgraphs things that were happening over the years.

I am not easily talked over, but I still hate the kind of people you described as I find them not only rude and inconsiderate but tiring as well. I have few family members who seem to lack even basic level of communication skills. I just distanced myself slowly over the years as being in touch with them became just pointless. One sibling in particular, we were very very close and also lived very close (2min walk), but she could barely hold a decent conversation with anyone. During conversation, when she finishes and someone else starts speaking, she would turn her back and start doing something completely different and just say "Go on, I am listening" without showing any sign that she was in any way engaged in that conversation. And it happened every single time. We were young and childless at the time, so it's not like she had to multitask juggling toddlers and trying to hold a normal conversation (which I have understanding for).

After a while I was just tired of all that and now we see each other maybe few times a year, for our children's birthday and that's it.

I work with a woman who I've given the name of ninerife, like the elevenerifers but they take the tact of everything in there life is 100 times worse than yours. In the mundane chit chat of work, I might mention that's my arms sore and then I'm treated to a half hour talking to about how she's on deaths door because both her arms and legs are sore, her mums legs are sore and do you know Angela from the club? She's having it off with Fred from the dart team. His legs are sore. And his sons cat has got sore legs.

So frustrating, I get where you're coming from. My family talk over me a lot, I tend to just stop talking, even in the middle of a word and sometimes they'll realise how interrupting they were. Which I know makes me sound like a massive dick.

Ninerife doesn't stop though, i don't think anything would work. Clearly she doesn't realise, and is probably just trying to be empathetic so I wouldn't say anything to her. Doesn't mean you can't have a whinge though

Not everyone can read the signs of knowing when to enter or leave a conversation. It something I've struggled with. I tend to apologies a lot because of that. I wish someone could teach me. What do you need yo look out for. By the way I'm very good at telling with difficult patients and usually get given them by the boses and reading body language and someone eyes I can do really well in work situation. but in Social situations i lack this important skill.

I really dislike it when people dominate the conversation all the time. I know someone who just goes on and on about herself, her family, I have heard the same things over and over , the same old stories and she has a great way of bringing everything back to her and what is happening in her or families life. She doesn't listen to anyone else's views and rarely even asks how you are! I often wonder if she is a borderline narc. On the plus side though, she had great taste in things and a wonderful mother. Lots of people around like this though. I am more of a listener myself, you learn a lot more that way I think...