To feel a bit sad about medals at school?

[BigBirthdayGloom]

Our school awards medals to two children per class in the last assembly of the year. They are given for working hard all year. I feel really mixed up about it. On the one hand, I am all for awards that motivate children to do their best. On the other, I feel they are hard to work towards because if you've had one, you can't get another and also, for every smiling face with a medal, there are lots wondering what they didn't do to get one. And I wonder if I'd be excited and posting all over Facebook if my kids had got one. But I know that my dd and ds have progressed really well with how they concentrate this year. They are both very able, but dd struggles to stay focused and ds can't sit still. And I'd feel it unfair if they got an award for the academics-they come naturally. However, I know the awards go to children who have always worked hard from the word go and arguably are being rewarded for what comes naturally. Aargh. Feel mixed up and sad. Aibu?

they are an excellent idea. it does not hurt children not to win. They did them at my school....they were known as a "diligence award" I won one once. Having been almost famous for my poor behaviour at school for years I really knuckled down in my A/S level year and got rewarded for it. Although there was a lot of joking about the fact that I won one, I remember feeling secretly extremely proud and being beyond excited about telling my long suffering parents that I had done well. Conversely in the years leading up to this, I did not give a shit that I had not won.

I think rewarding those who try hard/put in the most effort is the best route to go down with school awards because all children can try hard within their own capabilities

It would seem that kids are more resilient than the parents when it comes to awards.

DS got a similar thing this term, a couple are given out each term and it is made really clear what you need to do to get a badge. The whole school are reminded that they can talk to a teacher about how they can improve to get the award.
DS took this on board, accepted that he needed to stop being distracted and that he needed to knuckle down faster (he is just finishing year 4). He read more at home and really tried with his spellings which he hates. It took a few terms of demonstrating his new behaviour and he has been rewarded. Much better than rewarding ability, I think.
I didn't stick it all on FB though!

One of my pupils was thrilled and very surprised to have earned the improver award for my subject for her year group. She's consciencious and a quiet grafter, but the type that's easy to slip under the radar. She's not particularly academic and is one of the stronger members of a weak group. That award may be a massive confidence boost to her just in time to start GCSEs.

Positive attention does far more good to those who receive it than the temporary disapointment to those who don't. The important bit is recognising a range of qualities and fairly awarding a range of people.

I love encouraging effort, rather than results.

My DDs school reports have 2 grades, one for attainment, the other for attitude.

She got 10 A's and 4 B's for attitude when C is acceptable this isn't a stealth boast btw, I'm really unashamedly proud

I honestly couldn't tell you her attainment grades. She's average or a bit above average at everything except PE but not really good at anything.

She knows that not every child wins, not every child can be the best, that life isn't fair, that she is only in competition with herself to be the best that she can be.

I'm trying to educate her on life, and those protected from having to deal with reality aren't going to fair well as adults.

I think I'm going to chat to dd and ds about what the winners were rewarded for. I prefer awards that can go to anyone who makes the required effort or improvement but I accept these awards are here to stay. I love the fact that some schools are open about the criteria. It's all a bit arbitrary and secret here and how to win one certainly isn't talked about.

I also believe that, like attainment, some children find the whole business of working easier and so even effort awards are in a way rewarding natural ability. Effort isn't easily measured. But it's up to me to celebrate my children and help them to do the best they can in the system we've chosen. I know that others disagree. I'm not sad anymore and won't obsess about it.

Effort may not be easily measured BUT a child working very hard, working much harder than normal is easily for a teacher to see

unless your kids come home upset that they didn't win one i wouldn't be mentioning it at all to be honest. Why highlight something that they probably haven't even noticed?

At the risk of sounding mean it seems from your OP that you are more bothered than your kids are.

At my Dcs school they give 3 awards per year group, academic achievement, progress and all rounder. Usually the academic award goes to the same children each year but the others vary which is nice. It is a pretty open way of doing it so generally few complaints from parents.

It would seem that kids are more resilient than the parents when it comes to awards.

I agree and Lol

Life isn't fair. It's important to learn about disappointment. I abhor the apparent abolition of prizes/competitiveness in certain quarters so as "not to offend". Who, exactly, is offended?