to discourage my dp from being quite so harsh about his families smoking?

[ikeaismylocal]

I don't like people smoking around my dc, even outside if someone lights up close to us I'll move away. Ds has asthma which is made worse if he's exposed to smoke. I don't mention anything I just get up and move.

Dp is very anti smoking, we were with his cousin this evening, we were all walking back from a restaurant and the cousin was smoking whilst walking alone holding her ds's hand, I was walking behind but made sure I walked far enough away so ds wasn't breathing in the smoke.

The cousin's ds also has asthma but it's much worse than ds's asthma, the boys are the same age, there seems to be a familiy history of asthma, she will smoke a cigarette and then ask her ds if he needs a puff of his inhaler.

Dp asked his cousin why she smokes around her child when he has asthma and said he deserves to have clean air to breath.

I wouldn't choose to expose my dc to smoke but aibu to think he shouldn't lecture other people about their smoking?

YABU I think. She is v selfish.

What did the cousin say?

Well...he has a point. It's not really harsh, just a valid question.

I would question it too. I did with a friend of mine whose children have asthma and eczema very badly bye I have seen them choking and rubbing their eyes while she puffed away. she claims her doctor told her it was fine there was no link to their health problems and her smoking. I told her if the doctor really said that he had no business being a doctor. some people had willing to lie to themselves to make it seem like what they are doing is ok

I don't think he was being harsh. He is obviously concerned about her child's health.

If he was just making jibes about smokers smelling/getting lung cancer etc etc then that would be harsh.

If it's outside walking around then I'd hold my tongue I think. With all the pollution from vehicles around here the whole thing is a bit moot.

Inside different.

Good for him.

Leave him to it.

She just looked quite hurt. I just assume that she knows smoking around her dc is bad, she must know, everytime we see a Dr one of the first things they ask is if we smoke.

Someone needs to say it and it might as well be her cousin. Smoking around a child with asthma is utter fuckwittery.

As pp said, sometimes people are in denial even if a dr mentions it. Maybe this will shake her out if it

The fact she offers him his inhaler afterwards shows that she knows

'If it's outside walking around then I'd hold my tongue I think. With all the pollution from vehicles around here the whole thing is a bit moot.'

You could argue that if this was a child without breathing problems but with asthma all that means is they are already having to work harder to breath because of general vehicle pollution and walking next to them smoking makes it even worse.

Friend and her DS have asthma. Her DP smokes. Her DS is constantly coughing. He refuses to quit.

Well done on your DH.
She can feel bad about it all she likes, but holding her DS hand and smoking along knowing he has bad asthma is poor parenting on her part.
Its disgusting and selfish.

I agree with well done to your DH. I saw a heavily pregnant woman smoking outside a cafe and it really annoyed me. But I wouldn't have said anything. But if somebody did I wouldn't blame them.

Looks like I was well and truely unreasonable, I'll let him get on with it! I do hope it helps, I feel sad for her ds :(

some people are utter dimwits about smoking, and to carry on smoking when you have a DC with asthma is absolutely appalling. Good for your DH, I say.

It's not just somebody, it's his sister. I cringe when I see people smoking around their children. And I judge.

And to smoke around a child with asthma is ignorance and stupidity in the highest order.

Tbh I think he was right.

Smoking around children is child abuse.