Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To ask what you would do if

22 replies

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 14:21

You got called a fucking cow and a bitch in front of my two young daughters and wrongly accused of pushing in from of someone, which I most certainly did not, there were two free checkouts I let the the lady go to the closest and I went to the next one, she then began shouting at me saying I had pushed in, I ignored her, she left the shop and waited out side followed me to my car called me a fucking cow about 15 times, another lady tried to calm her down but she wouldn't leave me alone, I got in my car and she did walk off. The lady who did this was disabled.

Aibu to think that having a disability doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse some one? I'm pretty shaken by this my eldest daughter is also upset and asked if I was calling the police :)

I think I just need to sound off on here and forget it don't I, I was having a lovely day until this happened.....

OP posts:

FidelineAndBombazine · 21/07/2014 14:23

You poor thing.

She sounds deranged.

I think you did the only thing you could do (ignore and leave).

Is your DD ok?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/07/2014 14:25

She sounds unstable.

I would have been shocked if this had happened to me, no doubt about that and your dd's, poor girls!

merrydebs · 21/07/2014 14:31

How outrageous! Hope you're all ok. You would've been well within your rights to call the police. To be verbally abused like that is totally unacceptable! Silly cow, hope you don't encounter her again.

NorwaySpruce · 21/07/2014 14:31

Well no, having a disability doesn't give you the right to behave like that, unless you mean that she was mentally disabled, in which case it might have a bearing.

But being disabled doesn't render you a paragon of virtue either. Why did you feel the need to mention it? Did the woman yell 'I'm disabled and can behave like a prize twat ner ner'?

Loads of people behave appallingly with no provocation at all. I'm surprised it's taken you until now to realise that.

Flipflops7 · 21/07/2014 14:32

Poor you and DDs, sounds horrible!

Original poster

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 14:35

Thank you dd is ok now, I feel like crying and embarrassed by it all, sure a glass of white tonight will help.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 21/07/2014 14:35

Of course having a disability doesn't make it alright. But people with disabilities come in the exact same range of nice to nasty, have the same bad days, etc, as able-bodied people.

Just focus on reassuring your DC that sometimes there are very cross people in the world and it isn't always something that you can do much about, but that there was no harm done.

I don't think there's anything you could really have done differently - just keeping as calm as possible and leaving the situation is about as good as can be done in this sort of situation.

Original poster

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 14:41

Norway if it had been a non disabled person I would have called the police straight away, this is why I mentioned the disability, and I don't think she was mentally disabled just physically, I am also fully aware people behave appallingly but generally I don't think people get verbally attacked in a supermarket.

OP posts:

NorwaySpruce · 21/07/2014 14:44

So what would you do if a disabled burglar broke into your house?

Wave them merrily on their way?

Original poster

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 14:49

No Norway, I wouldn't.

OP posts:

GingerRodgers · 21/07/2014 14:55

I don't think her disability had any bearing on what happened so no need to mention it.
Pretty crappy behaviour from her. Glad you're ok op but some people are not nice no matter their situation.

wowfudge · 21/07/2014 15:00

Norway - I don't understand why you are having a go at the OP.

Skylander - this person's behaviour wasn't on and making your daughter feel scared makes this an assault: it certainly doesn't have to involve physicality to qualify as one. I for one would call the police on the non-emergency number. No one should get away with that kind of thing (if the person has mental health issues then that's another matter) and can you imagine what it would have been like if she had picked up someone less strong than you?

If she had a go in the shop then the staff would have witnessed it and I would consider speaking to the manager because if she's a regular customer do they really want her in there behaving so anti-socially?

Have a cup of tea and do something you all enjoy with your daughters this afternoon - take your minds of it.

Original poster

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 15:04

Thank you wow, a member of staff stood in from of her to try and stop her from shouting at me, so they did see what happened. I think I will just use another supermarket from now.

OP posts:

NorwaySpruce · 21/07/2014 15:04

I'm not exactly having a go.

There was just something irritating about the way the OP was written.

The woman didn't bring her disability into the screaming match, so I saw no need for this:

Aibu to think that having a disability doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse some one? or this:

Norway if it had been a non disabled person I would have called the police straight away, this is why I mentioned the disability

from the OP. It's just kind of crappy and patronising.

CoffeeTea103 · 21/07/2014 15:09

She probably had a mental health issue. I've seen and experienced this myself. There's a lady that lives in my area who does very similar things, people just avoid her and pay no attention when she starts ranting and swearing. Sorry you had to go through that, it was not aimed at you.

Original poster

Skylander1 · 21/07/2014 15:11

Norway I apologise if I have upset you, that wasn't my intention, my dd who was with me is disabled, so I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 21/07/2014 15:12

Well I can't help thinking that the aggressor could be the kind of person who does get away with appalling behaviour precisely because she is physically disabled - too many people are afraid to stand up to unacceptable behaviour because they are worried they will be accused of being prejudiced.

I understand your reasons Norway, but it's not very helpful to the OP and her kids who have been shaken up by this experience.

How would feel if it had happened to you?

serendippity · 21/07/2014 15:18

Utterly crazy and totally unacceptable especially in front of your children. Horrible experience, I think I would reported her to the manager tbh! It sounds like you handled the situation very well.
Hope you're all ok.

GingerRodgers · 21/07/2014 15:23

It was disgusting behaviour and no excuses for it but I really don't see why there was any need to mention the disability in the op?
If the woman was black would it have been necessary to mention that?

merrydebs · 21/07/2014 15:54

Skylander, sounds like Norway is being deliberately goading. Don't rise to it. Get that vino cracked open!

Pagwatch · 21/07/2014 15:58

I don't think it sounds like Norway is being deliberately goading.

I don't really understand the linkage tbh.
Someone is being aggressive and abusive - that's unacceptable . What has an obvious physical disability got to do with it?

Deftones · 21/07/2014 18:39

No idea why disability has any bearing unless it was a mental disability.

Personally I wouldn't call the police if someone did this to me, able bodied or not. However, I'm not the most tolerant of folk

Flip