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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about how much my daughter eats?

39 replies

MommyBird · 21/07/2014 09:17

I'm a little bit upset and want to know if i'm in the wrong or im doing an ok job.

My daughter is 4.
She is happy and just a normal little girl. She has cereal for breakfast and maybe some fruit.
Lunch a sandwitch or pasta and cucumber, she'll have her dinner which is usually meat, veg and tatties or pasta or something along those lines.
She eats ALOT of fruit. She has 'occasional' treats like chocolate dips, sweets and crisps. She would rather have water but loves Vimto!
She has never had a McDonalds because she has never wanted one but likes Subway and chips.
She likes cake and ice cream Who doesn't?!
She would live off Cucumber if i let her.
If you're still reading then Thank you :)

She is thin and tall. Just like me and her dad.

This is the problem. My nan thinks she is beig deprived of sugar and nice food which i think means junk food?
She has told me she is too thin and is worried she will have an eating disorder :(
Im abit taken aback as I think she eats fine. Does the above sound ok?
When she saw my nan, which is almost everyday she would give her Haribo, Jaffa cakes, Mini rolls and ice lollies. This is everyday.
I put a stop to it as I think thats too much? Its not her that will end up at the dentist with my DD when she needs a tooth out. No, it'll me and my DH!

My nan is 80ish. She is over weight, has trouble walking and standing and eats a whole family sized Apple Pie for dinner. The doctor has told her to loose weight and she hasn't took any notice.

I have no idea how to handle this. I don't know if i should 'relax'abit or am i doing the right thing? Help!

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 21/07/2014 19:35

Yes, that's a good idea OP the dentist might have some stock phrases you could use.

I wish you all the best, it's not a nice or easy situation to be in, you clearly love your nan as does your dd, and don't want to upset either and that makes it so much harder. Good luck Smile

MommyBird · 21/07/2014 19:44

I'm now fuming.

She has gone over with my dad earlier and ive found out she's had a mini roll and a cornetto.
Aswell as 2 jaffa cakes and another ice lolly she had earlier.

That's too much isn't it?!

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 21/07/2014 20:32

Yes, that's way too much in a short time no wonder you are fuming. Perhaps the only solution will be to say "nan, if you persist in doing this dd will only visit once a week with me."

Would your nan listen to anyone else do you think, your DH for example?

I'm sorry she seems so determined to ignore what you are saying, and I'm sorry your dad didn't step in and say something.

Seems like only drastic action will make her re-think.

MommyBird · 21/07/2014 20:39

I've decided she isn't going over to see her anymore, we see her on a Sunday for a Roast Dinner and that will have to be it :(

This has been going on for months and i'm fed up.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 21/07/2014 20:43

Just out of interest, if your Dad agrees with you why did he allow your DD to eat so much?

emotionsecho · 21/07/2014 20:43

So sorry for you MommyBird, but maybe that will be the only way she will get the message. I don't blame you at all, nothing else seems to be working.Thanks

MommyBird · 21/07/2014 20:47

I have no idea chipped :(

He has a hard time standing upto my nan and never says 'no' to her.
They arn't doing what's best for my DD so there's not really alot more I can do.

OP posts:
MommyBird · 22/07/2014 08:34

How do I word it in a nice way?

I dont want to cause any arguments or anything like that.

OP posts:
bouncinbean · 22/07/2014 08:43

I'm afraid that I don't think you can word it nicely - you've tried a reasonable approach and asked her to stop and she won't listen to you and follow your requests to cut back.
I would just reduce the contact - be busy, don't take her to your nan every day. In the short term do not leave her alone with your nan
When your nan tries to give her what you deem is too much just take it away. Don't engage in a discussion but a firm 'no, DD has had enough and that is too much sugar' when it's countered say 'i'm not getting into a discussion about this' if it turns nasty then simply get up and leave and go home.

FunkyBoldRibena · 22/07/2014 08:49

How do I word it in a nice way?

How about 'In the nicest possible way nan, stop feeding my daughter sweets or you won't be seeing her again. Yes, I am that serious. No I don't appreciate you going behind my back. I am drawing a line today and I mean it'.

MommyBird · 22/07/2014 08:51

Thanks for the reply.

My dad wanted to take her over this morning but i said no because she wants to play with her dolls house which is true.

Its not something I usualy have to worry about but because she has broken up from school i now have 6 weeks of this! It was day 2 yesterday and its already started.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 22/07/2014 08:56

It sounds like you are spending far too much time with your Nan - just back off, it's the summer holidays, surely you are meeting up with other families, going to the park etc etc. If she asks why you are not visiting so frequently just repeat as Funky has suggested.

If your Nan is lonely suggest she starts baking cakes for the local old folks club or starts up a coffee morning for isolated sweet deprived pensioners. Grin.

MommyBird · 22/07/2014 09:17

She lives across the road from us.
We are looking to move! thank god

She's a widow so. We feel guilty.

Im texting pretty much everyone i know this morning Grin

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 22/07/2014 14:42

Maybe you trying to be nice is part of the problem...

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