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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so unsure about bothering with nursery at all?

20 replies

Mixedupmind · 20/07/2014 23:56

We are relocating to west Sussex from London in October just in time for primary applications for my son to start reception next September.
None of the schools we like have a school nursery so if we use one it will be a private pre school from next jan - september which taking out the holidays will be for a total of 26 weeks.
Is it worth it? Or am I just wasting my time settling him in somewhere for such a short amount of time before another massive change?
He is an October child so would be nearly 5 upon entering reception next year

OP posts:

MrsWinnibago · 20/07/2014 23:58

I think it's worth it yes. It's 9 months...nobody counts up the weeks they're IN school or nursery....that's an odd way to look at it.

It won't be an unsettling thing for him...he may meet DC who he will attend school with especially if the school has no nursery.

Most children benefit from nursery socially and emotionally.

OorWullie · 21/07/2014 00:03

Depends on the child. DS' biggest benefit from nursery has been the social aspect- he is an only child and there are no toddler groups or activities in our very small rural village so without nursery he wouldn't have been mixing much with other children before school.

It has also been useful in introducing him to routine and being familiar with a teacher sort of figure, as well as pre-school learning of shapes, numbers etc.

If you feel your DS is ready or will be ready to cope with all that without attending nursery then I wouldn't bother,I know my DS wouldn't have been as prepared for school without nursery but many children who have brothers/sisters and cousins to learn from and bounce off would probably be more prepared.

It's also good to have that couple of hours each day free to do things you would either have to drag them along to or find childcare for.

FidelineAndBombazine · 21/07/2014 00:05

I would do it. 26 weeks is half a year. A long time for a 4 year old.

Good to be in the routines of coatpegs and carpet time etc I would think.

ZenNudist · 21/07/2014 00:07

London nurseries vvvv expensive. If you're using one then it's got to be the right choice financially. That said it would be a shame to miss out on funded hours for over 3s. It is good foundation for attending school. As an eldest in the year your ds would benefit from it.

My ds1 is similar age and really thrives at nursery.

Goldmandra · 21/07/2014 00:07

This is the one time in a child's life that I believe they really benefit from being in an early years setting.

If he has always been cared for at home, rather than as part of a group, there are some things about nursery that could help him to get ready for school.

For example, he can learn to communicate his needs to someone who doesn't automatically know them and to wait his turn when two or three others also need some support.

In an early years setting, the ratios are much better so learning to function as part of a group is a gentler process. The hours are also usually shorter which is a kinder introduction. In a reception class it's likely to be full days with one teacher, thirty children and a TA if you're lucky.

I don't believe that younger children have that much to gain from being in group settings but a few months just before starting school can be really useful.

FidelineAndBombazine · 21/07/2014 00:09

Zen OP is talking about W Sussex nurseries.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 21/07/2014 00:12

I think it will help prepare your child for the transition between home and a school like setting. Even a short amount of time will help your child to get used to a more structured environment.
It will also get him used to being around other children.
DS went to pre school for 18 months, and his confidence improved hugely from spending time with new adults and other children. He learned lots of things I might not have thought to teach him, which have been beneficial in improving his speech and motor skills.
He has also had so much fun at nursery, he really has enjoyed every single minute.
I would say it is worth giving it a go.

Original poster

Mixedupmind · 21/07/2014 08:38

Thanks for your replies
He isn't an only child, he has a sister a year younger so we are out every day at parks etc so he's very user to socialising
The only thing he obviously isn't used to is being away from me / family and being in any type of class setting so maybe a few mornings a week prior to starting reception would be a good way to do it

OP posts:

theeternalstudent · 21/07/2014 08:45

There is plenty research out there that points to the huge benefits of a good pre-school entertainment. Children who have attended pre-school/nurseries often start school years ahead of their counter parts who have not had the benefits of such an education. The BBC has lots of good articles on this. Happy to provide more links if you wish.

ICanSeeTheSun · 21/07/2014 08:49

I would send him, he will benefit from learning how formal childcare setting work and it will not be such a shock come September

HmmAnOxfordComma · 21/07/2014 08:52

Well that (almost) one year of pre-school is all that many summer born children do if they have a sahp. Ie they get the funding just after they turn three and go to school just after they turn four. And in our county there are virtually no school based nurseries, so most children do their pre-school year at either a village hall/parent run setting or a private day nursery.

I'm not sure why you wouldn't send him off to have the experience of sitting still for carpet time, listening to instructions, interacting with other children in a formal setting, learning basic phonics etc.

Original poster

Mixedupmind · 21/07/2014 09:10

I guess it just threw me a bit as where I am at the minute there are school nurseries attatched to nearly every school so I always thought it nice as they then go onto reception with at least a few of those kids / get to know the teacher and building etc whereas this way it's literally for that time and then he will have to get used to a whole new environment come 9 months later that's my only concern

OP posts:

VitoCorleone · 21/07/2014 09:14

If he's not used to being away from you or family then yes, send him, because he needs to get used to it.

In fact, send him anyway because its good for him.

adsy · 21/07/2014 09:16

As long as he's being socialised by you and knows the basics of how to sit still for a few minutes etc. there is no real need for him to go to nursery.
They start school at a very early age here anyway so if you don't think it's worth it then don't bother.
Phonics is very overrated as well. Just sit and read with him.

littlejohnnydory · 21/07/2014 10:02

We were in this position last year. I don't agree that preschool is necessary, or better for small children than being at home but we did decide to send dd - we basically gave her the choice and she wanted to go. We sent her 3 mornings a week and it's been a good balance for her.

Goldmandra · 21/07/2014 10:34

he will have to get used to a whole new environment come 9 months later that's my only concern

I can see where you're coming from and I agree it would be better for him to be in a setting with close links to the school he will attend.

In a good early years setting, he will have the chance to get used to the routines of being cared for in a group. It is significantly different from being at home with someone who knows you like the back of their hand.

There are systems like maximum numbers at the sand table, listening for your name in a list, finding your coat in a scrum or having to go and get your own snack that he will need to get used to. In a nursery or pre-school there are more staff around to spot a struggling child, think through why they aren't managing and talk them through what to do. In a reception classroom it's a bit more trial and error.

The academic side of it doesn't matter at this age. What matters is that her feels safe and confident in the reception classroom because he is used to being cared for in that way.

ONly you can decide whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages but, having spent a lot of time helping out in classrooms and having worked for many years in nurseries, preschools and as a childminder, plus 17 years of parenting, I would say that being equipped to cope in reception is worth the disruption of having to settle in twice in a short period.

If he doesn't get that experience, he won't be penalised and the staff will do their best but the numbers will make it harder for them.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 21/07/2014 10:39

Neither of mine have gone to a nursery/ preschool attached to their school - many schools don't have them. Children join reception from all sorts of childcare settings (or none). It's two terms, which I think is long enough to get something out of it.

Original poster

Mixedupmind · 21/07/2014 10:55

Gold
Very good points that I hasnt really considered so Thankyou very much for that
We have arranged to have a look at a few this week
It's a massive step for both of us on top of moving to a completely different area so a little overwhelming!

OP posts:

LaFlambeau · 21/07/2014 18:04

^...will be for a total of 26 weeks.
Is it worth it? Or am I just wasting my time settling him in somewhere for such a short amount of time before another massive change?^

26 weeks seems like little time to an adult, but think back to your own sense of time as a child; it's ages!

LaFlambeau · 21/07/2014 18:05

Apols for italic fail.

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