I want another DC DH doesn't

[BeauticianNotMagician81]

Please forgive what may be a long post.

We have 3 ds's whom I absolutely adore. I have 2 from a previous relationship who do not see their dad ( he's a waste of space) and then one with my DH. Last year we made the painful decision to not continue a pregnancy. We had just moved into a rental property pretty much as soon as the line showed up on the test. I took the MAP and it failed. Two days living in the property and we were basically told to get back out. The landlady had taken ill long story. Anyway we couldn't risk bringing another child into the world with nowhere to live. It so happened that 2 months later we found our dream home at a bargain price still renting but we hope to buy it.

Fast forward a year and DH and I have spoken about having one more. We both feel that our youngest will feel like an only child as there is a 7 year age gap. I wasn't too sure but then on Wednesday DH cooked me a meal after work cracked open a bottle of champagne and said I really think we should give the boys just one more brother or sister. I was so happy. Then this morning he back tracks no we aren't having another we can't afford it, what if we have to move again.

AIBU to be fuming I've not spoken to him all day. Yes it would be tight with 4 children and yes in a rental property always the chance we could lose our home and there are never properties that come up this cheap in our area. But I'm a firm believer that no one can ever afford a child and I had got all excited about our big family adventures.

Thanks if you got this far

I don't want to be hurt by it anymore though. The constant change in heart is driving me mad.

I have a cut off point as well I've always said no more babies when I hit 35. Just as DH has his reasons I have mine. I started having children at 23 and I don't wish to be an older mum. If I had started at 33 I would feel differently but I didn't and I don't want huge age gaps between the first . My eldest will be 10 this year.

I disagree that no-one can afford a child. Lots of people don't have more children for largely financial reasons. Lack of money causes stress.

But it's a shame he got your hopes up and then changed his mind

I also disagree with your head/heart distinction.

There is no guarantee that your younger two would be as close as your older two. But I'm a safety girl

Newripley I guess that distinction just comes from my group of friends as whenever there has been a baby discussion between my friends and their partners it has always been the case that my female friends have just had that pang of really wanting a baby whereas their partners have always come at it from the same angle as my DH ie Financially. I'm not saying none of the women have thought about finances etc. I just don't think men have quite the same yearning as women when it comes to wanting another child.

NewtRipley I meant

Yes, I see what you mean

you had one illegal eviction (there is no way that was legitimate, you cannot be evicted before six months without a tenancy breach) but don't let it affect your whole life.

but it sounds like you may have bigger issues.

Specialsubject sorry that wasn't too clear in my original post. We were asked to leave our tenancy early. It was more a moral dilemma as the landlady was terminally ill. It was a difficult situation by all concerned although made more difficult by the her husband putting a lot of pressure on us. He did pay our new deposit, let us keep the one for his house and pay for removals though.

Well we spoke last night on the phone (DH works away a lot). He said that he does want another child but doesn't think it's practical and doesn't want us to split up with the strain of a fourth. That's fair enough. I just can't help being angry still

So after the champagne you didn't immediately haul him into bed to DTD ?