Just had one of "those" arguments with DH

[Moggy72]

Just that really. Busy day with the kids. Lots of activities and rushing them into the shower before bed. DH walks in to the bedroom and tells me off for "always shouting at the kids". To which I reply "well if you did all the things I have to do then you'd be shouty too... And I told him he doesn't "do anything" .... The last point was a tiny exaggeration ... But he really doesn't do much at all.

Fair enough then, he doesn;t know enough about managing his own children and needs to be responsible for them next week?

Well, while I completely see your point your DH may not be unreasonable either.

I had the same conversation with my DH when I was a SAHM. By bedtime I'd run out of patience and get a bit shouty. I reacted much as you did but on later reflection realised he did have a point. Shouting can become a habit if you're not careful. I try now to ensure that if I shout it's because the DCs behaviour warrants it not just because I'm tired and have run out of patience. However part of this discussion was agreement that DH did bath times and I got 10 mins peace before stories.

Was there some kind of positive outcome to the argument or did you both go to bed grumpy? I agree with politelydeclining - maybe he could give you a little break at bedtime and you could make an effort to find other ways to control behaviour as a positive way forward.

'You are so right DH, it does tend to get a little frantic at the end of a long day. I think you have pointed out an issue that needs addressing. We need to properly allocate the chores that need doing so that I am not doing it all and getting all shouty at the kids because I have to get them to bed in order to come down and finish even more chores.

So - here's the deal.

During work hours, we both do our own jobs - agreed [one of you might be a stay at home parent, I don't know but go with it].

Once we get home, these are the chores that need doing. I have listed them daily, weekly and occasionally. You pick a daily one, and then I'll pick a daily one and we keep picking one each and then move onto weekly and then occasionally until we run out of chores. Then - we do those chores, either daily, weekly or monthly. Thanks DH, you are a genius'.

You're doing too much !
If your patience is frayed "ask for help" don't do what I do and carry on alone then moan about not having any help.
I say "ask" because IMO it's harder for dh to say no when you ask for a hand with his children.