To think it's quite common to have one child these days?

[moomin35]

Lots of people I know in their 30's have one child and don't look like they're going to have another which I think is on the rise (nothing wrong with this just am observation!) Do you agree?

I think one child families are on the increase yes. I remember reading a new story about it a while ago, and thinking WHERE?

Because DD was an only for 6 years, I hardly know ANY one child families locally. I felt quite unusual.

EVERYONE I know has 2 children (including myself now). I know about 6 of families with 3 and 2 families with 4.

I have been saying this exact same thing for months! All my friends who have young babies are all planning to just have one (admittedly all mid/late 30s but still...). When I was at school there was only one only child in my class!

Grunt that is an impressive talent for patient persuasion you have there

Having thought about it, I know quite a few only children/one-child families. All for various reasons.

I have one child. Jury's still out on another. If the terrible two stage continues, I may ship her back to the cabbage patch from whence she came.

I have one and it's through choice. Nothing to do with lifestyle or having less expenses, not a materialistic decision. I know quite a few others too. "Just" the one child? Is the most annoying question ever. Why just? So pejorative. Rant over.

Four of DD4's friends are only children. Two are children who have gaps of over ten years between them and their younger sibling. DD4 is the youngest of 5 and I often wonder if she sought out only children deliberately or is it just that there are so many of them in her class you couldn't heave a brick without hitting one.

We have one and he's lovely. I hate, by the way, the term 'only' or 'onlies'. What a way to think about a child / a person. I also hate the word 'just' (i.e. 'just the one'?) My biggest pet hate is people who have asked us 'whether we're planning to have a family' (I mean after our son was born, assuming that a 'family' means 2+ children).

Still unclear whether we'll have another.

For many people has to do with money, personal circumstances including career development, and of course fertility issues.

In our circle there's a number of families with one child, for various reasons. I certainly refrain from asking the reason unless they offer the information themselves as I've been asked more times than I wish to remember 'just the one'???

In the current economic climate and particularly for those living in London with insane house prices & childcare costs, sometimes it's simply very hard to have more than one child. More & more families choose to have none (and yes they're still bloody well families even without children!)

So yes YANBU, I suspect you're right and there are some considerable pluses to having one child which people tend to underestimate spouting out silly cliches about 'sharing', 'selfishness', 'loneliness' etc.

I think those stats linked to are misleading - many of the families included in the 'one child' will go on to end up with two children, as that number includes first babies for example.

The statistics that would be really interesting to see, would be a cross-section of families with youngest child aged 8 (for example) and see how many children are in each of those families. Anyone know if those data are available?

I can only think of 7 families with just one child, and of those two were definitely due to age/fertility problems the others I don't know. The overwhelming majority of the DCs friends and children of friends/relatives of mine are in families of 2 or 3 children, I know 3 families of 4 and 1 of 5.

Oh, and anecdotally, only children are very rare in my DS's school. Only two one-child families in a 40-entry year.

I have 14 close friends with children and 9 of those have one child and aren't planning or can't have any more. I live in the SE if England.

Of those 9, 3 of them really want more but can't because of medical issues. One would like another but can't afford to and the remaining 5 are happy with their one child and unsure if they will ever have another.

I wonder if it's more common for people to leave a big gap between children while they decide whether they want another or wait until they can afford it. Of my 5 friends with more than one child, 2 of them waited over 5 years and if any if the 9 one child families have more it will be with a big gap.

I also hate the use of 'just' as if you have to be reminded you've fallen short of the norm of two.

I know quite a few only children. I would say for 50% of those it's choice and for the other 50% it's possibly having kids late or being under financial pressure.

Also I have noticed the larger gap between siblings that mathanxiety mentions. That might be people having more children in a new relationship or just people who want time concentrating on one before another arrives. Makes sense to me.

I know loads of families with one child. My dm was an only. It's an absolute non issue and no one's business How many children you have

I think it is more common because of older parents.

I have three but both my siblings have one each due to either secondary infertility or a late start. They would both have liked more in different circumstances but have made the most of having one.

I must admit to being a touch envious of their compact families compared to the sprawling near chaos of mine, my SIL and DS have been able to keep up a life outside of the home in a way I haven't managed and their children seem to do well with the extra attention ( and are usually cleaner and better dressed than mine!). I think my sibs will have a better retirement than DH and I too, having to pay for a bigger house and three of everything is bloody expensive and our pension saving is suffering ATM.

They both have never quite got past the PFB stage though, not that it seems to have done any harm apart from causing mild irritation to me!

Ours is an only mostly because I was 37 when he was born. If I'd been 10 yrs younger we probably would have thought about a 2nd when he was 5 or 6 but it won't happen - I just don't want to start all over again in my 40s.

He is 1 of 3 onlies I know of in his class starting school in Sept but there may be more as I don't know the other kids yet.

My dad and his mum (my grandma) were both onlies due to being huge babies that left fertility issues.

I think it's more common than it was - about half of my friends (including me) have got just one child, in most cases by choice.

Having said that, I work at a large nursery school and there are a lot more families with 3+ out there than I realised so I suspect it remains quite balanced.

Wigglybeezer: plenty of families with more than one child out there who haven't got past the PFB stage, precisely because it's in some cases harder to build a life outside the home, so all their interests (in some cases, obviously not all) tend to revolve around the children. Not wanting to generalize here, but I do tend to get fed up with people thinking one-child families are necessarily suffering from PFB syndrome. It can sometimes beI've seen it in my circle, if we are to speak anecdotallyexactly the opposite in some cases.

We have an only child. She is fab. We decided to stick at one so we could devote everything we have to her. I hated my siblings (NC for years) so didn't want more than one.

Dont be envious Wiggly not even a touch, its not nice to be longing for a second baby and unable to have one. I have an only and have secondary infertility. In my circle I dont know any other families with only children, although I hear about friends of friends, it definitely feels unusual in my area.

i only know one couple with one child , most people i know have 3 .

DS is the single only child in his class of 30. From my NCT group there are another couple of only children; none of us planned to have just one child.

Isn't the new average 1.8 rather than the traditional 2.4?

We have 3 dc aged 13 - 18 so we are probably about 10 to 15 years further on from the stage and age you are talking about.

But of our friends pre dc and all the families we have met through our dses from three different classes at different schools, I can only think of three families with one child. The majority seem to have three like us. Then some families have four, and some have two.

If I was starting out planning dc now, I think I would plan for two. But the biological clock kicked in hugely for me having ds3 so I'm not sure I could have ridden that urge out or not, now.

It does not seem to be the case around here, most people I know have 2 children or more.

We have one, by choice. I agree with whoever said the stats must be strongly regional. I knew of far more one child families when we lived in London, but now we live in rural England, I only know of one other besides us, and three children is not unusual.